Maybe it's because we're friends with such liberal, pro-public-school people, so we don't want to be seen as "those people" -- the pretentious private school people who think they're better and whose kids are preppy assholes. Also, we're going to be flat broke for the next 20 years, so we know people think we're crazy and wonder why the hell we would do that to ourselves. :-)
It also might have something to do with the fact that, even within our own families, there's still a tension between "bettering oneself or one's own family" and so-called "acting" or "wanting to be" white. (And yes, this is a real thing, despite people who want to believe it's not.)
Navigating both dynamics -- friends who don't understand your choices and family members who fear you're judging and abandoning them -- is trying, to say the least.
I always seem to become very inarticulate when I try to make our reasons known.
But this article, even though it's old, really gets to the large and small of it.
Here's the link: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=114327591
Most of you know my family background, and Lester's. So perhaps you can see how it is that we see ourselves in some of the imagery here.
We know that private school is not "the answer." We know there are pitfalls and peer pressures wherever they go. In fact, there's a whole slew of new worries we're taking on by sending our children to a school where they'll be surrounded by privilege, potentially isolated, and exposed to vices we likely can't even imagine. And who knows how we'll feel once they actually get there. We could be singing an entirely different tune in a year or five.
But for us, right now, moving out of our neighborhood and sending the kids to private school seems like the best choice for our family.
I know we don't have to explain ourselves to anyone. And maybe you still won't agree with us, even after reading/listening to this. That's really OK. We don't have to agree.
But it would mean a lot for the people I like and love to at least understand.