This is mind-boggling to me, since I only made it to 8 months with Cary and Dean, and I thought I was going to die from exhaustion and discomfort then.
I'm prayerful that she will stay in as long as necessary to be healthy and ready to be in the outside world. And of course I am fretting about how having a newborn will upset the entirety of my life -- and that of everyone in my house, too.
But it sure feels good to know that I won't have to be pregnant too much longer. I'm at the point where getting out of bed -- especially with a full bladder (which is a given) -- takes real effort. Grunting, groaning, rolling, physical effort. Bending is out of the question. Stairs are like mountains.
Curve Ball is a huge solid mass, taking up almost all the space in my core. There's so little room that when I have to pinch some fat to give myself an insulin injection, it really has gotten incredibly difficult, and I end up injecting wherever I can. She's head down, and has been for a couple weeks. She's low, low, low, and is creating incredible pressure on my groin area. Sometimes, it's hard to walk because of all the pressure. I'm tired and somewhat grouchy and I want to EAT A BROWNIE, fer crying out loud!!
But I am also fascinated and enamored with the evidence of her little heel, scraping across my ribcage. She often pokes her little foot up and I can't believe that that is my daughter's little foot -- right there, announcing itself so severely and sweetly at the same time.
I keep peeking in her room (which I hope will be done soon so I can post photos) and I can't help but smile. She has a room! She has tiny little clothes! She has a teddy bear!
My mom is throwing a little baby shower for me this weekend -- so small we're calling it a "sprinkle" -- and I am excited to see some friends and family, and open up little boxes of sweet girl clothes. Once I get all that stuff, I'll wash everything I've gotten -- both new and handed-down -- and put her things away in her drawers.
(Two things she's already gotten from her very giddy father, who, by the way, did not buy his sons one item of clothing when I was carrying them! Not one. But his little daughter?? Well, she must have a little bathtime bunting with ducks on it, and a pink sleeper bearing a cupcake! She just must!)And then, at some point, we really do have to figure out what's happening with the car seat situation. But other than those last few things, we are ready for our lovebug.
Our house is ready. My body is more than ready.
And my heart ...well, I think my heart has been ready before I ever knew she existed.
