Getting ready for the holidays!

I had a big report due on Monday at work and then I was off Tuesday and yesterday. So I'm back at work today and ready to blog ..er...work. Right. Work.

I don't have anything really profound to say, so I guess I'll just get down what's been going on the last several days.

Last Saturday, we went to our friends Mark and Kelly's house and made reindeer cookies with Naomi and the boys!

I love that Kelly tried to get Naomi to eat a sandwich first. (She's shoving M&M's in her mouth by the handful.) Ha-Ha-Ha!

It was so much fun, we're going to do it again with a few other friends -- with more kids, yikes! -- this weekend at our house! Although I doubt it will be as fun as it was with Kelly and Mark because 1) Kelly is so laidback and cool about everything, that it was just really relaxed and nice and not manic like it probably will be when it's at my house, because I'm crazy and 2) Kelly made super delicious coquitos -- coconut eggnog with rum! Yummm!

It was so nice to see them all. I wish I lived closer to all my friends! Sniff.

Lester's big Christmas present this year was tickets to see Lauryn Hill at the 9:30 Club on Sunday!
We went to dinner in D.C. first and marveled at how much the neighborhood around Howard University, my alma mater, has changed. Things are developing/gentrifying so much that this restaurant we went to had only been open a week. And it was packed! And there were only a handful of black people. People who know anything about the Shaw/Howard U. area know that that is CRAZY.

Here we are, out. Alone. No kids. Alone. Having a drink. Alone.

The concert was really good (despite it being at the 9:30 Club, a standing-only venue which is impossible for shorties like me). For those of you who don't know anything about Lauryn Hill, suffice it to say that she is this incredible talent who got totally plowed over by her good-looking, charming cad of a baby daddy (Bob Marley's son Rohan) who left her and their FIVE kids to go off and marry some model. After that, Lauryn went cuckoo for cocoa puffs. She shaved her head, acted loopy at concerts (when she showed up at all), got in trouble with the IRS, went to JAIL!! and just seriously had a really hard-to-watch, broken-hearted breakdown.

But she's making a comeback and Lester absolutely loves her, so we took a chance and bought tickets to see her perform. I'm so glad we did. She sings with so much passion -- even moreso now that she's been through so much. It was a really good night, spent rockin' out with my baby. :-)

Before the concert, our friend Callie invited us to the Baltimore Museum of Art to hang out and make instruments during the museum's arts and crafts time. So we trudged over there and got to see the boys' friend Spirit, who Dean just loves. And we met some other very nice families and made a big mess with glue and scissors, construction paper and ribbons.

The boys surprised the heck outta me by being able to cut! I had no idea. In my house, we stay far away from scissors. Good thing their teachers are more adventurous. Also, Clair glued her lips together, using the glue stick like Chapstick. My kids are so creative.

And, lastly, I really made the most out of my days off.

Tuesday, I spent the day with Lester, hanging out and picking up a few things we needed to finish our Christmas decorations. And yesterday, I rode the school bus with my boys to their field trip (a play at Goucher College), came home, had lunch with them and went out and got my hair done!

I also got to just spend quiet, middle-of-the-day time with my kids, playing Christmas music and witnessing moments like this:

Which was really, really nice, because you all know how it is when you get home from work - all the harried task-completing, and end-of-the-day meltdowns. It's nice to get to see my children during a more relaxed time, warm and comfortable, safe, happy and loved.

If I didn't get another thing for Christmas, just having had this time with them would be absolutely enough.

Caught in the act, and I don't care!

You know those celebrity tabloids that show photos of your favorite stars looking schlubby or doing something embarrassing, like walking around with a wedgie or dripping mustard all over their clothes?

I feel a little bit like a celebrity today.

Last night, we dragged the whole family to Target to buy a few things we needed for the house and for a cookie-decorating thing we're doing Saturday with our friends Mark and Kelly and their kids.

It was right after work, so the kids were hungry for dinner. Lester bought hot dogs and grilled cheese and popcorn (dinner of champions!) and set up in the store's little dining area, while I power-shopped. I couldn't find one item I needed, but my check-out lady told me where to find it, so after paying for all my other things, I lugged Clair back with me to the far end of the store to get it. When I came back to the dining area (still without my item), Cary and Dean were spastically rolling the shopping cart into empty tables, spilling popcorn everywhere and just generally bouncing off the walls. There was NO settling them, so I just ditched the hope of finding chocolate-covered pretzels and said, "Let's go!"

We hustled out of there (to get our tree, yay! Which Dean picked out. Of course.) and got home so late that it was all we could do to wrangle the three over-tired crazies into bed and CONK out. No Scandal. No Game of Thrones. Just sleep. (Well, Lester folded two baskets of laundry, awesome husband that he is, but *I* fell flat on my face.)

Anyway -- it was all just another day in the Davis household. Until I got a message this morning from a colleague on Facebook who said she thought she'd seen us at Target and wanted to know if we'd been there the night before.Why, yes. That was us! Awww, we could have stopped and chatted. Aww.

But as the morning wore on, I started thinking: What exactly did she see?? Did she see Clair pick up that stray chunk of hot dog from under the table across from us, and me do the TV-slow-motion dive to knock it out of her chubby little hands just before she chewed on it?

Did she tsk tsk at how I had lazily clapped Clair's hair into a frizzy 'fro on the top of her head - and that she had "runch" all over her shirt? (That's what she said when I asked her what on Earth she spilled all over her clothes. "Runch.")

Did she judge me about the veritable carpet of popcorn we left for some probably-pissed-off employee to clean up? (I did whisper "Sorry about the mess!" to the random Target employee who was sitting there taking her break, but she just glowered, so I don't know if that means "You're forgiven, poor harried mother of three" or "Eff you and happy new year!" But I digress.)

Could she hear  -- all the way from back in the section with the Christmas trees -- my boys' complete and total inability to use anything close to an inside voice? Ever?  [Seriously. WHY are they so LOUD? Dang.]


I thought we had been anonymous in Target -- the ragtag bunch of us, all hastily bundled in mismatched hats and gloves, ketchup-stained, loud, hungry and unable to find chocolate-covered pretzels or mini M&Ms, despite two trips to the back of the store! DAMMIT.

But we had been spied. By someone who knew us! This must be how Oprah feels!

If I had written this blog post in my 20s, the moral would have been, "And this is why you must always look your best when out in public!"

Thank GOD I'm no longer in my 20s.  Because I didn't care one bit. This is the blessing of getting older and less concerned about what the world thinks of you.

And I know that my colleague truly wouldn't have judged -- she's a cool person, and a Mom herself, who was running late to pick up her own kid.

But even if she did judge, it wouldn't have mattered. My kids are not always magazine-ready; they don't always behave well in public. Hot dogs are messy; popcorn even moreso. The gloves that match the hats sometimes get lost.

And so what?

As a mother in my 40s, the moral of THIS blog post is: If you want chocolate-covered pretzels from Target, to make reindeer cookies for your crazy, messy kids, you'd better get 'em early, because they sell out.

Random wintery, pre-Christmas thoughts

Random thoughts:


When did Clair learn to say "sure?" -- You ask her to do something, she says, "Sure!" It is too funny. She also likes to tell "stories" using mostly nouns, but some verbs, like "crying" or "sleeping" or "falled." I love having conversations with her -- can't wait to hang out with my chatty girl when she's older. P.S. Can't believe she will be 2 in February. Good grief.
***

Still no tree in the Davis house. In fact, there are pumpkins sitting on my front porch (covered in snow) and scarecrows on my dining room window sills. I don't know when (or if) we're going to take Christmas card photos -- and then address and send the cards to friends and family. And I haven't pulled out the Christmas music yet. I am really behind this year. Like, woefully. (P.S. How do pumpkins last so long?)
***

I really enjoyed this newspaper article about what toys inspired girls who eventually became engineers/scientists:

I especially loved the connection between Legos and code-writing (something which I totally wish I understood anything about. Even just a little html would be nice to know.)

Note to Santa: Add more Legos to the Christmas bounty!
***

It has really gotten cold here - today won't even make it past 30-degrees. One super-annoying thing about winter weather: fastening two big boys into their safety seats with their tremendous, puffy coats on. Seriously, I break out into a sweat trying to get them buckled in and always have to stop myself from saying words no 3-year-old should hear. Today, after my frustrating struggles to get them clicked in, the boys spilled the beans that when Daddy takes them to school, sometimes he doesn't buckle them in. "He says, 'It's OK. We're just going around the corner!'" they told me.
Tsk, tsk, Daddy! Someone's getting a lump of coal in their stocking this year.
(I also had to laugh that they totally told on him! Hahaha! You can't do anything around kids this age. They will let the cat out of the bag. Trust.)
***

I am almost finished with Book 2 of Game of Thrones. Reading these books is definitely an investment, but really worth it. Even if you're not a fan of fantasy, if you like well-written, character-driven stories, with intricate, fast-moving plots and great dialogue (especially from Tyrion, the Imp) you would like these books. Take it from me. And actually, the "fantasy" part is somewhat incidental, I think. But you guys need to read 'em to see for yourself.

Speaking of GoT, I called my Dad this morning on my way to work and we had a little mini bookclub, talking about where I am in the books and Dad's thoughts on it, etc. It was really nice. I absolutely love being able to talk about books (or anything) with my Dad. One of the best parts of my life.
***

My friend Olivia wrote a Christmas letter that was so funny, I am determined to write one for this blog. It won't be as good as hers, but I am pledging right now that I am going to get down the highlights of 2013 in one place. Just as soon as I finish this MONSTER report at work, toss the pumpkins, get a Christmas tree, decorate the house, come up with something to put on the front of a Christmas card, and drive the family insane with repeated playings of Donny Hathaway's "This Christmas."

After all that, if my end-of-the-year letter comes next year, I'm sure you'll understand.

Clair has PTSD

After vomiting multiple times on Saturday night, my poor daughter appears to have PTSD.

Several times a day she stops mid-play to tell us, "I pit up." After which, we have to say, "I know, baby. You spit up," and make a sympathetic sad face, in order for her to go back to doing what she was doing.

She also is having a harder time getting in and staying in her crib.  I think this is because most of the throwing up happened after she was in the bed for the night, and every time my Mom put her back in her pack 'n play.

Last night, she cried after we put her down to sleep -- something that happens very rarely. When I went to soothe her, she cried harder, saying, "No Mommy. I pit up!"

I think she thinks if she stays in her crib, she'll vomit. Awwww. Poor baby.

And then this morning, I went in to get her and she was standing up in her crib, smiling happily, but saying, "Pit up!"

She's obsessed. I feel so bad for her. What do I do with a child who has stomach virus PTSD?

Rat skulls, cocktails and Murphy's Law strikes again

In my quest to find more science-y things to do with the kids, I happened upon the most awesome thing. Every Saturday, Masonville Cove Environmental Education Center has free activities for pre-K kids! Every Saturday. FREE!

The one trick is that they can only fill 20 slots, including adults, and so you have to sign up fast for the weekends you want to go. I learned this the hard way, as I have been trying to go to one of their programs since October!

But this weekend, we finally made it -- and the lesson was on "noc-turtle" animals. (That's how the boys say it.)

We learned about owls and bats and other animals that do most of their living at night. The programs are awesome because they combine toys and stuffed animals with music (the teacher sang a song about nocturnal animals - seriously, who makes a song about nocturnal animals?), a little science experiment, outdoor playtime, arts and crafts AND snack. Did I mention this was all for FREE?

Playing with all the stuffed animals.

The science experiment involved dissecting "owl pellets," which owls cough up after eating mice and other small animals. Because their stomachs can only digest the fleshy parts of animals, the pellets contain all the fur and bones. So we pulled apart the pellets and looked under magnifying glasses at little mice skulls and leg bones and teeth and tails.

The boys were only mildly interested in this -- especially because they had discovered binoculars earlier in the program and really only wanted to look at everything they could find with those. So checking out mice bones was a road bump in their binocular play. I suspect slightly older children, who really understand digestion and anatomy a little bit more would find this supremely exciting.

For my part, I found it pretty cool, but also a little bit gross. But I did a really great job of hiding my  grossed-out-ness because when one is trying to nurture the inner brain surgeon in one's children, one cannot make faces and go "Ewwwww!" when checking out mice skulls. (As much as one might want to.)

Come on. Look at that and tell me you don't want to give me a high-five for suppressing my "ewwww!"

Making a craft.

Owl puppets, with "real" feathers.

It was a little chilly for the outdoor play part of the program -- pretending to be bats and trying to find your friends (or Mommy) using echolocation. But the boys thought it was a lot of fun running around with their eyes closed shouting.

All in all, the morning was really awesome. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, and I know that going to this program will be a big part of our lives from now on. In fact, I think I've just found the place that will get our end-of-the-year donation in 2014: Masonville Cove.

Lester took Clair with him to a political event that morning, so while the boys and I were sciencing (just coined a word! Holla!), the two of them were politicking.  The Mayor was there and the Lt. Governor (who is running for governor), but Lester said Clair stole the show. I'm not surprised.

Later Saturday afternoon, we all went to my parents' house. We dropped the kids off with Mom and Dad and went to a holiday dinner party at the home of my friend Wes' girlfriend Danielle.

Danielle and Wes.

The fancy Davises (pre-cocktails).

The evening was VERY elegant. There were all sorts of stinky cheeses, and appetizers with brie and caviar, and super fancy place settings and a beef tenderloin so damn good I wanted to sing halleluiah to the cow who gave it to us. There was a signature cocktail (with cranberries that had been soaking in vodka for two YEARS) and dinner served with both a red and a white wine.  And the conversation was really hilarious and substantial and satisfying.

Grown-up night out. Good friends. GREAT food. Excellent conversation. Kids safe and happy (and asleep) with my parents: When we left Danielle's house, we were on quite a high!

It was quarter to 1 when we walked in -- and the high ended there.

Every light was on in the house. Mom was up washing linens and pajamas and Cary and Dean were awake and wired. Clair was crying and looking pitiful.

Apparently, poor Clair had vomited THREE times while we were gone. Once, she spit up all over Cary. And in the middle of all of that, Dean got ahold of a stapler in my parents' office and stapled his thumb. Dad had to pry it out with pliers. 

I thought for a half a second: Boy, so glad we missed all this excitement! But remember how we always say that no good date goes unpunished? Well, just know that Mom happily handed her shift over to me when we came in, so the fourth time Clair vomited (this time mostly liquids), it was our turn to change her pajamas, put new sheets on the boys' bed (how she managed to aim and hit the boys' bed every time is beyond me) and try to get her back to sleep.

At 3 a.m., she and I were still awake on my parents' living room sofa.  Her tummy was upset and she was "hunggy" and "firsty" but I wouldn't dare put another thing on her stomach, so she just whined and complained and fidgeted until finally, around 3:40, she collapsed from exhaustion.

Of course I was sorry as can be for my poor sweetie (and my poor parents!) but I was also thinking how it is SO Murphy's Law that the one night I have two or three (or four, but who's counting) cocktails, plus two glasses of wine, is the night my poor, sick child won't sleep until nearly 4 a.m.!!

And of course C and D were up at 7:30 a.m. --  bright-eyed and ready to eat breakfast and play in the snow that started falling later in the morning.

Lester and I were both so tired, we missed church and didn't get to go buy our Christmas tree like we wanted to. We mostly just sat around the next day, drinking coffee and falling asleep mid-sentence.

Lucky for us, the bug was pretty much over and done with by morning, so Clair feels much better and we are making plans to go get our tree sometime this week. So there are no regrets, people. I'm dragging still a little bit this morning, but I still have the memory of that fabulous tenderloin. And boy was it worth it.

My generation's MLK

Today, I am overwhelmed with admiration and immensely thankful for the life of Nelson Mandela. What a life he lived! What a legacy he leaves behind! 

I am also praying that Mandela's life's work doesn't stop with his death. I sincerely pray that those who are inclined to hate people -- because of the color of their skin, or their sexual orientation, or their body shape or economic status -- will one day be moved nearer to love.

If the world envisioned by Martin Luther King Jr. and the great man they called Madiba can truly be realized, then I won't have to fear for my little brown babies as they grow and go.

Your dreams are my dreams, Baba Mandela.

May our dreams someday come true.

 
“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” —Long Walk to Freedom: The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela

Learning is fun. But fun is fun, too.

In my family, I'm often chided for being a little too focused on making sure the kids are intellectually stimulated and that the things they're exposed to or involved in have a learning component, even if the "learning" is about kindness, or manners, or the proper appreciation of New Edition songs.

I admit that I do try to take advantage of the relatively few moments I have with my sweeties, because I know their little brains are ripe right now for knowledge.

But we do allow our kids to just be kids -- and even *I* know that not everything in their young lives has to be educational. Sometimes, kids just wanna have fun.

 

Parent-teacher conference

Lester and I went to our first ever parent-teacher conference last night.

We sat in tiny little chairs in the boys' classroom and heard all about how great our sons are. According to their teachers, Cary and Dean are "so sweet" and very "polite" and almost always on task when they've been asked to sit criss-cross applesauce with their hands in their laps. They are "bright" boys and know their letter sounds, shapes and colors -- and even a couple of Spanish words (rojo and azul). They also take their "jobs" very seriously, we were told, even though that's something we already knew. "Door holder" and "line leader" are tasks we hear a lot about in our house.

Their teachers also talked about Cary's supreme love of books and reading, and Dean's supreme love of being the boss of everyone.

"Dean is a real alpha male," Miss Michelle told us. "He is going to be running the world one day."

That made me laugh.

All in all, it was a really good visit. If all our parent-teacher conferences go that way, I'll do a happy dance for the next 15 years.

I was slightly concerned that the school doesn't seem equipped or willing to help nurture Cary's reading readiness. But then I talked to my Mom and she reminded me that pre-school is more about helping kids develop holistically -- with a special emphasis on social, emotional and behavioral markers. Lester was already of that mindset, and he assumed as well that there wasn't much the teachers could do even if they wanted to in a class of 19 three-year-olds. (And Cary and Dean are only there half-day.)

So I'm no longer concerned. We'll just keep working with reading at home with both boys and continue to support the school in the areas that they are focused on this year -- such as using their inside voices. If they can help my two megaphone-mouthed boys to do that, I will give their teachers a million dollars.

Hoping "The Secret" really works

This week, Lester and I did something we have never done before: We booked our summer beach rental!! Awww, yeah!

It's December! Who ARE we? Seriously, we have never had our act together about anything this early. Maybe we've been replaced by pod people.

Anyway, we are getting a small house this time because the apartment we got this year was really nice but too small for 2 adults and three small, energetic children. I'm excited knowing that we already have a vacation planned for 2014. Gives me something to look forward to half the year!

I also booked my girls trip to NOLA for February! Going to hang out in the Big Easy with my girls Jill, Lisa, Erin and Erika -- all of us former Sun reporters who have moved on to other things. I can't wait to see them, and possibly try to squeeze in a visit with my girl Candice who lives in LaPlace, La.

And ... I finished Christmas shopping (except for two things I have to buy in stores). Finished! Done. Finito!

Now, we just need to somehow find the money to pay for all this stuff. Hahahaa!

You know that book "The Secret"? I am really hoping  all that power-of-positive-thinking stuff really works.

If you buy it, the money will come....

If you buy it, the money will come...