Anyway, this is an affliction of my own doing, and I'm working on it (sorta).
But sometimes reading makes me feel better about things and not worse! (I love it when that happens!)
Like as I am skimming through my Ames developmental book "Your 3-Year-Old: Friend or Enemy" and come across this page:
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SEE? Kids have "strong points and weak ones." And the better parents are at recognizing both, "the more effectively [we] can manage to see that much of the time [they are] successful." It's important that parents recognize the weaknesses in a kid "without giving him the feeling that he is not a good and valuable person, as you know he is."
Isn't that what I JUST said? Holy confirmation, Batman. I should be a writer of developmental books for kids!
I also loved it, and needed to hear it, when Auntie Louise (that's what I call her) said this:
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She totally wrote that JUST for me. I needed someone to take that unreasonable pressure off of me -- and off of the kids, too. Thanks, Auntie Louise!
One other thing I loved about this book is that she repeatedly says throughout, "Your 3-year-old is not your enemy." She says it so many times, it makes me know that lots of parents feel that their 3-year-old has completely turned against them and all things good and holy. (LOL!) But really, she assures us, this is not the case.
Your 3-year-old is not your enemy, folks. Your 3-year-old is THREE.
(I have been reminding myself of this truth multiple times daily.)
3 comments:
You know what I love about you? You give me some really good information. But then again, you also have given me some whacked-out mama-related neuroses. So it's great when you post stuff like this where "experts" confirm that you're not a total nutjob.
And I say "expert" in quotes because Auntie Louise and I don't get along. I feel bad admitting that aloud, because I'm sure that reflects more on my parenting than on her, but in the first book I read of hers, she said something like: If your 15-month old slaps your hand while trying to take away your toy, you should apologize to her because you invaded her space. That almost got her book chucked across the room.
So, you know I try to avoid reading baby and child development books because they make me feel like a lousy parent. But from time to time I dabble -- then I try like hell to stop myself from heading down that familiar rabbit hole you speak of.
But the thing I loved about "Your Three Year Old... " is that she kept reiterating this sentiment -- forgive me while I paraphrase -- ahem: "As often as possible, send your 3-year-old to preschool, to a babysitter, to grandma's, to anyone who is not you. because, on the real, YOUR THREE YOUR OLD IS FUCKING INSANE."
I'm sure she said other stuff in the book. But that's the one that stuck with me. And I know why -- it takes the pressure off ME. ;)
We put enough pressure on ourselves, our kids, our every single parenting choice. It's too much!
My mantra for 2013: Less pressure, more cocktails!
...That should read Three *YEAR* old.
See, they even cause you to forget how to spell. CRAZY!
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