My hilarious hellraiser

I have never been parent to a little girl before, and I don't know all the little girl children who have ever lived, so I know this is a totally unscientific statement. But, hear me when I say: Clair is the craziest, funniest, most maddening human child to ever walk the Earth.

She will be 2 in a couple weeks and she has already hit the terrible 2s most terribly.

She doesn't just defy, she laughs maniacally when defying. She doesn't just refuse to unhand the thing you're telling her she can't have, she hurls it across the room like a shot putter. She doesn't ask for anything, she SCREAMS for what she wants -- ear-piercing, relentless, nerve-grating screams.
She hits. She spits. She throws her food off her plate when she's done eating. She shouts, "GOOD!BYE!" and storms out of rooms. She terrorizes her brothers and confounds her parents.

She is, quite simply, a piece. of. work.

And then...just when you have decided to pack her up and ship her to Siberia...just then she:

Befriends a little girl at her Saturday tumbling class:

Loves all up on the patient, sweet "kitty" (AKA miniature Schnauzer) at a SuperBowl party:

Climbs up at a keyboard and says, "I sing Farm, Mommy. McDonald Farm," and plunks away:

Takes pity on her poor father (this was in an email to me):

I just asked her for a kiss and she said no.

I pretended to cry and she said "Ho On, daddy. I readin. Finish. Then kiss. OK?"

I said, "OK. But how long do I have to hold on?"

"I READIN! Wait I finish. OK?"

"OK."

Then she closed the book, leaned in and gave me a kiss. Ha. She's too funny.

 

And sees God in everything around her (also in an email from Lester):

 

Showing me the football helmet stamped on her left hand:

Me: Who gave you a helmet?

Clair with a mouthful of cereal: GeeZus

Me: Jesus?

Clair: Yas.

Me: Jesus put that helmet on your hand?

Clair: Yas. GeeZus gave me Hal-mut.

Me: Well OK.

 

(Note: She got the football helmet after her tumbling class. A cheerful 20-something named Amberlee gave it to her.) 

Hahahaha! Too funny.

 

Clair never fails to lean in and hug a crying Dean, or say, "God bless you, Cary" when he sneezes. She asks, "What matter you, Mommy? You OK?" when you cough and she always shares her last bit of chauk-wit (chocolate) with anyone who asks.

She cracks us up; she makes us want to cry. She is a hilarious, heart-warming hellraiser.

I couldn't be more delighted with her -- or more afraid of the pre-teen and teenaged years.

Pray for us. :-)

Congratulations to the Baltimore Ravens!

In case you didn't know, the Baltimore Ravens won the Superbowl last night! It really is a great feeling. Not because Lester and I are such huge Ravens' fans (Redskins forever!) -- and I'm not even a big football fan, to be honest -- but because the collective mood in this city right now cannot be beat.

Yeah, this is pretty much the entire city of Baltimore today. Like confetti is falling from the sky all day long.

If any city needs a shot in the arm such as the kind that comes from a Super Bowl win, it's Baltimore. Believe me.

Lester and I watched the game and the post-game and then tackled the normal Sunday evening chores. By the time I finished cleaning up all the pizza and hot wings off our basement floor (thanks kids!) blending up lunch for Clair in the food processor, packing snack bags, making my lunch, washing the dishes, and writing notes for Michelle, it was 1:30 -- a full three and a half hours after the time I like to be in the bed. And wouldn't you know Clair Davis decided to wake up -- for a bottle, no less -- at 3?

Needless to say, I am pooped!

But on my way in to work, people were still honking their car horns driving down the street, purple flags waving in the air. My neighbors stepped out of their homes in purple shirts, purple shoes, purple hair. The crossing guard at the boys' school was fairly dancing the children across the street. My boss is in a grand mood, and he made the coffee I'm chugging just perfectly.

Thanks, Baltimore Ravens!