Showing posts with label sibling rivalry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sibling rivalry. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

The Cary-Clair dynamic

Cary, last night, referring to Clair:

"Mommy, why does my brain keep telling me, 'Tease her, tease her?'"


Seriously guys. He loves to torture her. And not just in the typical "take her toys, make her cry" kind of ways. He finds subtle ways to make her know that she is not in the Cary-Dean Cool Club. All the time.


If I say, "Guys, look at these shirts I bought you!" And they say, "Wow! Cool!" And then I tell Clair, "Here's your new shirt, sweetie!" Cary will turn to her, quick as lightning, and say, "That's not cool at all, Clair!" For no reason! She wasn't paying him any attention. Her shirt has nothing to DO with him!

What is that all about?? I can't stand it!

He taunts her, runs to jump in a space if he sees her headed for it, closes doors when he sees her coming in, complains incessantly if I lie her down on his bed to change her into her pajamas. "Get off my beddddddd!" he whines. "That's my bed!"

I guess I have a basic understanding of sibling rivalry, but this seems to go beyond. 

Dean does not do this to her. He has his almost-4-year-old moments of being selfish and not so nice, of course. But mostly, he cares for Clair, looks after her, gets a little distressed if she cries too long or too hard. He's patient with her and will, on many occasions, automatically include her in whatever it is he and his brother are doing. More than anything, it seems, he is not threatened by her presence, like Cary seems to be. In fact, he seems to rather enjoy her being a part of things. So why doesn't Cary?

Parents of twins and other siblings - tell me: Does this get better over time?