"Mommy, why does my brain keep telling me, 'Tease her, tease her?'"
If I say, "Guys, look at these shirts I bought you!" And they say, "Wow! Cool!" And then I tell Clair, "Here's your new shirt, sweetie!" Cary will turn to her, quick as lightning, and say, "That's not cool at all, Clair!" For no reason! She wasn't paying him any attention. Her shirt has nothing to DO with him!
What is that all about?? I can't stand it!
He taunts her, runs to jump in a space if he sees her headed for it, closes doors when he sees her coming in, complains incessantly if I lie her down on his bed to change her into her pajamas. "Get off my beddddddd!" he whines. "That's my bed!"
I guess I have a basic understanding of sibling rivalry, but this seems to go beyond.
Dean does not do this to her. He has his almost-4-year-old moments of being selfish and not so nice, of course. But mostly, he cares for Clair, looks after her, gets a little distressed if she cries too long or too hard. He's patient with her and will, on many occasions, automatically include her in whatever it is he and his brother are doing. More than anything, it seems, he is not threatened by her presence, like Cary seems to be. In fact, he seems to rather enjoy her being a part of things. So why doesn't Cary?
Parents of twins and other siblings - tell me: Does this get better over time?
3 comments:
I'm not a parent. But, my friend Julia tells me her brother was painfully mean to her growing up. Well through high school even. But, now, they are the best of friends. But, she also really thinks big sisters are nicer than big brothers.
sometimes I think we are living parallel lives - this sounds very familiar.
I am only a year into this sibling business so I know very little... but from your descriptions, Naomi is a total mix of Cary and Dean. One minute she's all, "Take this baby back to the hospital and get a new one. He's too crazy." And the next, she's near tears begging to play with him before we set off for school in the morning. 3 year olds. They CRAY! So, from my very unscientific experience, sounds totally normal. And from what I remember with my own siblings, you totally go through stages. I remember periods -- in my mind they lasted for many years -- where my brother Kevin would smother me with a pillow for fun every day after school. And others when he so carefully made me breakfast and showed me how to ride a bike. Family. It's wild!
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