Separation anxiety and schedules

I am trying to get back into some sense of normalcy, even though my life is completely upended and I feel at loose ends all day long.

But I thought I could take it one day at a time, and jumping back into blogging (about the babies) might help.

So here goes:

The boys will be 11 months on Apr. 11. They are totally cute and really hysterical at times, but I would be lying if I said this stage with them is a thousand percent easier.

Here's why:

Separation anxiety

Dean is in a MAJOR "Mommy" phase. If he sees me, he wants to be in my arms or on my lap, and nothing, nothing, nothing can deter him. Oh, the whining. It is truly epic. I thought it couldn't get much worse, but he's even gotten to the point where he wants me even when he doesn't see me! Since I have been gone a lot the past two weeks at the hospital with my brother, Lester has been a single parent essentially. He's done an amazing job, never once complaining (seriously, not even once), but he has let on that Dean has had times when he has been inconsolable while I was gone. Usually if he's hungry or sleepy, Lester said, and he's been busy with Cary or chores or various must-do things. But when I walk in the door, Dean takes inconsolable up a notch -- until I pick him up. Then, it's like someone hit the 'off' switch. Instant quiet.

Schedules

We are total SLAVES to the schedule!
When the babies were tiny things, the eating/sleeping schedule saved our lives. It really helped us to keep them doing the same things at the same time (for sanity), and also to get them sleeping through the night (for sanity and our own sleep!)
But now that they're older and we are really ready to get them out and about, we really feel hindered by the schedule. They're so used to the schedule, the boys want to eat and sleep at their familiar times, no matter what is going on. The eating part is sort of an issue, but workable with snacks and the fact that they can now hold their own bottles. The napping thing, however, is a real roadblock.
For months, they've taken a nap around 9:30 and then again around 1:30 or 2. We have learned to make sure we hang around the house until after their first nap, which is fine because we can never get our acts together before then anyway. But if we want to go anywhere or do anything, no matter what it is, the activity almost always runs well past their second nap.

And if Cary and Dean Davis don't have their second naps, they are miserable, whiny, clingy little monsters.

And of course, I have the only two children on Earth who don't really sleep well in the car. Dean sleeps a little bit better, but he always waits until 10 minutes before we get where we're going to drift off. Cary refuses to sleep at all. He thinks it's much better to complain - loudly - the entire ride.

And then...the babies go to sleep at 7 or 7:30 at the latest. By 6 p.m. they are DONE with the day. They want their bath and they want their bottles and they want to go to bed. Their OWN beds. STAT.

So this means that if we go anywhere, we have to leave after their first nap -- which ends around 11 or 11:30, get back to the house for a nap around 2, and then possibly we can head back out after that -- around 4 (after the nap has ended and they've eaten), only to be back by 6.

Careful readers will note that that is like 2 hours of safe-out-of-the-house time. Two hours! And not even consecutive hours!!

It makes us not want to even leave the house. Except we really want to leave the house.
(I'm getting a distinct Jimmy Durante urge to sing right now, but I will ignore that.)

Moms, anyone else ever have this problem? When does this get better? How come I see all these other parents out with their kids at all times of the day and night, and no one seems to be having a monstrous meltdown?