Concert memories

Lester gave up his spot to go see the Legends of Summer concert with Jay-Z and Justin Timberlake so my sister could go with me.

So last night, she and I trekked through horrendous traffic, climbed to the top of M&T Bank Stadium (where the Ravens play) and danced, sang, rapped, clapped and screamed along with a sold-out crowd. It was a hugely diverse crowd -- black, white, Asian and all of the above -- and very eclectic -- from teenagers to soccer Moms, hip-hop heads and college co-eds, lots of couples, but also lots of groups of homeboys and giggling girls.

It was a lot of fun -- but I am dragggggggin' today. I didn't get back to my car until 1 a.m., and I didn't get to bed until 1:30.

Cary and Dean were up at 6:30 -- par for the course for them lately -- and my whole body hurts from all the walking Tahira and I did. (Yes, I am that out of shape.)

But the whole experience reminded me of my younger days, going to concerts with my friends or my Dad, boyfriends or wanna-be-boyfriends.

Best concert memories:

• Michael Jackson - Thriller concert! 1987. I was 13 and I spontaneously burst into tears when he came out on stage, just like they show during documentaries. I also wore one silver glove to the concert.
• Prince!!! in Philadelphia with my Dad. Seriously, like, BEST. CONCERT. EVER!  I cannot say strongly enough what an amazing concert that was. As a bonus, Morris Day and the Time opened up for Prince, and Patti LaBelle was in the audience and Prince brought her up on stage to sing a duet with him!
• NEW EDITION - every single time I see them! Helllooooo! Candy Girl for life!
• Maxwell with Lester on the eve of an anniversary trip, just before we discovered we were pregnant with Cary and Dean. We went for tapas before we went to the concert and something I ate made me strangely queasy. I was pregnant - just a little bit -- and didn't know it. And that was the first and only queasiness I had the whole pregnancy.
• Sade, with my mom and sisters. She put on such a good show and her voice is sooo lovely. She made me want to be elegant. (That didn't work out.)
• Outdoor festival concerts with Frankie Beverly and Maze, or Erykah Badu, or the ultimate legend, Chuck Brown!

There are probably lots more I'm forgetting, but those are some of the best ones.

Concerts are a lot of fun, even if I am too old to be packed into a stadium with a gazillion screaming people, walking along busy streets trying for an hour to hail a cab, and getting home in the wee hours on a worknight.

Wait. I take that back. I'm not too old.

The last song JT and JZ performed was called "Forever Young." I hadn't heard the song before, but it seemed to be a bit of an anthem for the kids in the audience. By the end of the song, even I was singing along.

Forever young, I wanna be forever young
Do you really want to live forever?
Forever and ever

Forever young I wanna be forever young

My achy muscles and tired bones might be saying something to the contrary right now, but I like the sound of that.

Pause to give mad props to my husband...

Every day for the last 10 days, I've gotten a gift from my husband.

Every even-numbered day, the gift has been a voice message that he recorded from one of my dearest friends or family members. He then took the voicemail, attached it to an email with his own little message, and sent it to me.

The first one - on May 4th - was from one of my closest friends, the woman I was supposed to visit in Atlanta, Neelofer. Her message made me cry (of course), because she started crying when she was talking, remembering how we met freshman year in college and how we've been a part of every big moment in each other's lives since, loving one another and caring for one another the way only best girlfriends can.

Lester's note, attached to the email, also made me cry. It was a quote I'm sure he found on the Internet, but it was so appropriate for her, and, actually, for so many of my other true friends.


"True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island... to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing."  --- Baltasar Gracian

Other voice messages have been from my awesomely supportive friend Kelly; my oldest and dearest friend Desiree', who HATES doing that sort of thing, so I was so touched that she actually talked for almost 2 minutes; my sister Kadija, who wrote me a poem and cracked me UP; and my 96-year-old Granddad, who spoke for a grand total of 14 seconds. Here's what he said: "Happy birthday, Tanika. I hope you're having a lovely time. You are a lovely girl. Have fun. Granddad."

Ha!! Man of few words, that guy is.

On the odd-numbered days, Lester has given me some small gift, usually left in a conspicuous place, so I'll find it by surprise, or once he hand-delivered the gift to my office.

There's been a tube of chocolate-caramel balls, a Starbucks gift card, a gift bag of fancy ginger ales, THIS oh-so-sweet book:

Having Lester's support in everything I do means the world to me.

And the doozy of all doozies -- concert tickets to see my boo Justin Timberlake during the Legends of Summer Tour in August!!!! The concert tickets are spectacular, but even more impressive is the fact that Lester is going to go WITH me to the show! Let's just say he doesn't share my enthusiasm for JT.

But he does like that Suit-and-Tie song, and in fact, in the note card to me along with the gift, he paraphrased lyrics from it: "Here's to the woman who showed me a few things about love."

Awwww....(I also cried reading that one, of course.)

In between planning and executing all this gift-giving, Lester managed to participate 100-percent in the planning and executing of the boys' 3rd-birthday cookout, he's been holding it down with me at home while Michelle has been out sick, and he STILL managed to get me a Mother's Day gift (something small and sentimental I'd asked for a long time ago, before I knew he was doing this 40 for 40 thing.)

I've got 30 days (!!) left before my actual birthday, and I have NO idea how he's going to keep this thing going. He's pretty much touched on almost all of my sweet spots -- friends, family, chocolate. I keep wondering who else he recorded, what additional sweetness could possibly be coming. Besides a 3-lb. lobster dripping in lemon and butter, I don't know what else he can pull out of his hat.

A big part of me feels embarrassed by all these riches. But mostly I'm overwhelmed by his generosity, his thoughtfulness, his understanding of who I am and his amazing, amazing love.

In my 20s and early 30s, I made a lot of bad decisions when it came to romantic relationships. I suffered a lot of heartache and loneliness and even some outright humiliation at the hands of men who didn't measure up. I prayed and prayed that I'd one day be blessed to have a husband who'd love me the way I knew in my heart that I deserved to be loved. I knew I had to make better decisions when it came to choosing people to love. And I admit that I (finally, finally) made a good decision to date Lester, someone who was outside my "type," 9-years-younger and not a narcissistic commitment-phobe.

But I had no idea that the stars would line up the way they have. I thank God that He knew my heart would agree with my head on this one! And I'm so thankful, so grateful, so humbled to be Lester's wife, partner and friend.

When Lester quoted Baltasar Gracian (whoever that is) in the email when he sent Neelofer's voice message, it didn't occur to me at the time, but now I know, with absolute certainty, that the quote most aptly applies to him:

To find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing.

My take on the "news" and pop culture

As a former reporter, I follow the news with a certain insider's bemusement and jadedness. And also, of course, affection for the work of real journalists. But mostly, since leaving the field in 2008, I have been able to just follow it as a reader/layperson. And that's pretty cool.

Like, I can totally laugh at the fact that Beyonce-gate has become "news."

When I worked in the Features department, I probably would've had to write about this "shocking controversy" instead of just laughing at it, and solicit "experts" and whatnot for comment. Whatev.
Despite all the earnest coverage of this "fraudulent affair, "my favorite Beyonce Inauguration lip-synching quote belongs to Stephen Colbert: "It is now official. Jay-Z officially has 100 problems."
HA! That cracked me up.

Also, what is the deal with this dude Manti Te'o? I understand why the story is titillating and gossip-worthy, but I'm not sure I get why it's "news."

Speaking of football players, the Baltimore Ravens are in the Superbowl this year! This is actually pretty exciting, even for me, someone who is not a football enthusiast, and even for Lester, who is a diehard Redskins' fan for life. (HTTR!!) Living in Baltimore, you can't help but get caught up in the entire city's excitement, and purple everywhere, and admiration for Ray Lewis, who has had quite a career.

And also, there's the built-in storyline of this year's Superbowl: two brothers coaching opposing teams for the Superbowl championship title. Can you imagine being those boys' mother?? Who do you root for? Ugh! The stress.

My boss, a total Ravens fan, found an old picture of the two coaches, the Harbaughs. Lester and I looked at it last night and Lester laughed so hard at how the boys' adult personalities are totally evident even in this childhood photograph.

Ravens coach on the left -- the nice one! Blah-blah-blah other coach on the right -- evil, scowling, destined to lose the Superbowl one.

It made us wonder about what childhood traits of Cary and Dean's we will recognize in adulthood. And we thought a lot -- again -- about how people just are who they are, despite what parents think about how we are "shaping" kids into adults. Obviously, we have some influence -- and God knows bad parenting can screw folks up for life!! -- but for the most part, we're just here to help them be the best people they were already programmed to be. That's actually kind of freeing. Takes the pressure off a bit, no?

But on the other hand, that also reminds me of a fascinating New York magazine story that ran this week with the headline, "Why You Never Truly Leave High School."  The article spends a lot of time talking about how we are all shaped so much by our high school/adolescent experiences and emotions.

"Maybe, perversely, we should be grateful that high school prepares us for this life," the article says near the end. "The isolation, the shame, the aggression from those years—all of it readies us to cope. But one also has to wonder whether high school is to blame; whether the worst of adult America looks like high school because it’s populated by people who went to high school in America. We’re recapitulating the ugly folkways of this institution, and reacting with the same reflexes, because that’s where we were trapped, and shaped, and misshaped, during some of our most vulnerable years."

Isn't that interesting? I actually had a fairly normal high school experience, not too high on the shame or aggression or isolation, nor too high on the popularity or the partying either. It was just normal. Which, I guess, according to this article, might be a clue as to why my adult  life is somewhat normal (comparatively speaking).  I dunno. But it is an interesting thing to contemplate. And also one more thing for me to think about when raising children. You know how I have been all about the synapse-building because of the whole birth-to-3 theory?? Well, dang. Now I gotta make sure these kids have a normal high school experience, too! The pressure!

(I joke, people. I joke. Sorta.)

Anyway, one last pop culture thing to mention here. Have I ever shared my undying love for Justin Timberlake? Oh yes, JT is so my boo! :-) He's been busy making movies and getting married to Jessica Biel (blech!) and whatnot, so he hasn't released any music pretty much since he brought sexy back in 2006.

But now, he has REALLY brought the sexy back, with his new single "Suit and Tie."

I love this song and the lyric video! It totally makes me think of my early days of dating Lester, and how he made me feel. I'm a sucker for a gentleman in a nice suit and tie, and Lester is amazingly good-looking when he dons one. And plus, the song makes me want to go out in a dress and heels, get a fabulous cocktail (or two) and dance. I haven't felt like that since before I got pregnant with Clair.

All pressed up in black and white
And you're dressed in that dress I like
Love is swinging in the air tonight
Let me show you a few things
Let me show you a few things
Show you a few things about love
While we’re in the swing of love
Let me show you a few things
Show you a few things about love...

Lester totally did that for me. He showed me "a few things" -- and then some -- about real love.

I pray Cary, Dean and Clair find that kind of heady and long-lasting feeling with someone worthy of them one day.

Little baby Davises, I hope you read this some day. That right there is news you can use.