Three cheers for Lester! (And other family Davis tidbits)

My friend David introduced me to a video that reminds me so much of the kind of man I married. I can't stop watching this super-cute video. I love it that I married a man who I know, without a doubt, would get out there and do this with our own little spirited girl one day.

https://weallsupport.com/this-is-an-awesome-dad/

As it happens, today is Lester's birthday! So let's hear it for all the good men and great Dads out there like him. Hip-hip-hooray! Hip-hip-hooray! Hip-hip-HOORAY!

Now...let's get a little bit rowdy! R-O-W-D-Y! :-)

Happy birthday, Les!I've got big plans for us this weekend!

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In other news, Clair and I went to Atlanta Friday through Monday. We had a great time visiting my dear friend Neelofer, her husband Anthony and their beautiful, sweet-as-can-be kids.

Suraya, Kadin and Clair at the Atlanta Zoo.

Clair looking at the flamingos, being reminded of Baltimore!

It was so great to sit up until the wee hours with Neelofer, eating chocolate chip cookies and talking about everything under the sun. We laughed, we cried, we were bleary-eyed in the morning. It was perfect.

Clair did amazingly well on the plane! She was busy, of course, up and down on my lap, peeking at the people in front of us and behind us, making a mess of snacks everywhere and playing with every toy I brought with us. But there were no meltdowns or crying jags. Everyone around us thought she was hilarious.

She was incredibly clingy though, once we were on land and hanging out with Neelofer and her family. She wouldn't let anyone hold her and swatted at the kids when they tried to come near her. She did show some moments of sweetness, like when Suraya wanted to hold her hand at breakfast.

Look how sweet they are!

But for the most part, she was attached to me at the hip and very possessive of her personal space and anything she thought belonged to her (even things that belonged to them.) I love my baby girl very much, but I will be so glad when she grows out of that phase. Sheesh.

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My Deanie got a little recognition card yesterday from the head of the pre-school. It said, Dean is a team player!" and on the back, Miss Katie hand-wrote:"Thank you for sharing trains with your friends!" He was so ridiculously proud of that card, he wanted to carry it with him (back) to school, in his little sweatshirt pocket. So I let him. You should have seen his happy little face.

But this, unexpectedly, made Cary upset. HE wanted a card from Miss Katie, too. Nothing I offered him would placate him. I tried to explain that Dean earned his card by being a good friend and sharer. Cary was inconsolable. In order to get us out the door and to school on time, I told him I would talk to Miss Katie and ask her to give him a card.

So when I saw her this morning in the drop-off line, I did just that. I told her how much Dean loved the card but that Cary was upset that he didn't get one. She explained that Dean really went above and beyond yesterday, happily and sweetly sharing his toys with a classmate who wanted to play with them. She and Miss Michelle were both so impressed, she felt like she really wanted to recognize Dean. But she said she understood what I was saying and that she'd make an effort to spot Cary doing something good and give him a card today. It was a pleasant and sorta funny conversation, and on my way back to my car, I stopped and told Cary I talked to Miss Katie -- he was so happy! Dean was happy. And I was happy! Yay, right?

Not so much. Now, I have meddler's remorse. I thought I was doing the right thing. But now I feel bad that I did that. That was like a Supreme Helicopter Parent move, wasn't it? Like, textbook.

Here's the thing that is really ironic. I prefaced my whole chat with Miss Katie by saying, "I'm really not one of those parents who think that kids should get recognition for nothing!" And then I basically said, in so many words, "Umm, but could you give my kid something for nothing?"

Ugh!

I am kicking myself! At least Miss Katie said she would wait until she actually saw him doing something worth recognizing before giving him a card. That elevates this story from being completely pathetic to being only somewhat pathetic.

Note to self: Get it together. girl. Don't be one of "those" parents!

Pause to give mad props to my husband...

Every day for the last 10 days, I've gotten a gift from my husband.

Every even-numbered day, the gift has been a voice message that he recorded from one of my dearest friends or family members. He then took the voicemail, attached it to an email with his own little message, and sent it to me.

The first one - on May 4th - was from one of my closest friends, the woman I was supposed to visit in Atlanta, Neelofer. Her message made me cry (of course), because she started crying when she was talking, remembering how we met freshman year in college and how we've been a part of every big moment in each other's lives since, loving one another and caring for one another the way only best girlfriends can.

Lester's note, attached to the email, also made me cry. It was a quote I'm sure he found on the Internet, but it was so appropriate for her, and, actually, for so many of my other true friends.


"True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island... to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing."  --- Baltasar Gracian

Other voice messages have been from my awesomely supportive friend Kelly; my oldest and dearest friend Desiree', who HATES doing that sort of thing, so I was so touched that she actually talked for almost 2 minutes; my sister Kadija, who wrote me a poem and cracked me UP; and my 96-year-old Granddad, who spoke for a grand total of 14 seconds. Here's what he said: "Happy birthday, Tanika. I hope you're having a lovely time. You are a lovely girl. Have fun. Granddad."

Ha!! Man of few words, that guy is.

On the odd-numbered days, Lester has given me some small gift, usually left in a conspicuous place, so I'll find it by surprise, or once he hand-delivered the gift to my office.

There's been a tube of chocolate-caramel balls, a Starbucks gift card, a gift bag of fancy ginger ales, THIS oh-so-sweet book:

Having Lester's support in everything I do means the world to me.

And the doozy of all doozies -- concert tickets to see my boo Justin Timberlake during the Legends of Summer Tour in August!!!! The concert tickets are spectacular, but even more impressive is the fact that Lester is going to go WITH me to the show! Let's just say he doesn't share my enthusiasm for JT.

But he does like that Suit-and-Tie song, and in fact, in the note card to me along with the gift, he paraphrased lyrics from it: "Here's to the woman who showed me a few things about love."

Awwww....(I also cried reading that one, of course.)

In between planning and executing all this gift-giving, Lester managed to participate 100-percent in the planning and executing of the boys' 3rd-birthday cookout, he's been holding it down with me at home while Michelle has been out sick, and he STILL managed to get me a Mother's Day gift (something small and sentimental I'd asked for a long time ago, before I knew he was doing this 40 for 40 thing.)

I've got 30 days (!!) left before my actual birthday, and I have NO idea how he's going to keep this thing going. He's pretty much touched on almost all of my sweet spots -- friends, family, chocolate. I keep wondering who else he recorded, what additional sweetness could possibly be coming. Besides a 3-lb. lobster dripping in lemon and butter, I don't know what else he can pull out of his hat.

A big part of me feels embarrassed by all these riches. But mostly I'm overwhelmed by his generosity, his thoughtfulness, his understanding of who I am and his amazing, amazing love.

In my 20s and early 30s, I made a lot of bad decisions when it came to romantic relationships. I suffered a lot of heartache and loneliness and even some outright humiliation at the hands of men who didn't measure up. I prayed and prayed that I'd one day be blessed to have a husband who'd love me the way I knew in my heart that I deserved to be loved. I knew I had to make better decisions when it came to choosing people to love. And I admit that I (finally, finally) made a good decision to date Lester, someone who was outside my "type," 9-years-younger and not a narcissistic commitment-phobe.

But I had no idea that the stars would line up the way they have. I thank God that He knew my heart would agree with my head on this one! And I'm so thankful, so grateful, so humbled to be Lester's wife, partner and friend.

When Lester quoted Baltasar Gracian (whoever that is) in the email when he sent Neelofer's voice message, it didn't occur to me at the time, but now I know, with absolute certainty, that the quote most aptly applies to him:

To find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing.