Is it bad that I am re-capping the weekend on Thursday?

I just can't get it together folks. It's Thursday and I'm just getting around to re-capping LAST weekend.

But better late than never, right? (If ever a motto was written by a procrastinator, that one is it.)

Last weekend, like most weekends, we had 50,000 things to do. Here are the highlights:

We went to Abby and Maya's 4th Birthday Party, which was held at the Mayfield playground, just around the corner from us. It was the perfect place for a party -- close by, shady and cool, with familiar equipment for the kids to play on. And Abby and Maya were the cutest!

When I pointed my camera at them and asked the birthday girls to hug, this is what they did. Awwww! After this, I learned to say, "Hug EACH OTHER."

They love this little playground. Look at my sweet pea!

Clair was the only one who wanted to keep her party hat on. And I had one on too. Me and my little girl -- always dressed for the occasion.

After the birthday party, we met up with our new friends the Stewarts, and their two little girls, at the Maryland Science Center for "Make-a-Mess Day."

This one LOVED making a mess.

They have no idea what they're doing with this touch-screen thing because they. can't. read.

Dean and Lester enjoyed a little show about electricity. Clair kept saying, "I don't LIKE that show!" And Cary just wanted to play with the touch screens nearby, even though ...see above photo.

Afterward, Lester went to a housewarming/networking event (with some big names in attendance!) while I took the boys to baseball and played with Clair. After that, Stephanie and Tom (my boss/friends) stopped by unexpectedly, which was really nice. And then Antwyne and Mari dropped off Antony unexpectedly, so we had an extra 4-year-old for dinner and bathtime, which was also really nice. The boys love Antony and the three of them get along famously, laughing and giggling and being super silly together. Too bad I didn't get to see too much of that silliness, because I peaced Lester out and went to Holly's 40th birthday party on her and Jessica's awesome rooftop deck, drank margaritas and ate Mediterranean food until I almost popped.

Check out the view of South Baltimore from their rooftop. Nice, right? Their rooftop deck is nicer than my entire house. Not even joking.

Sunday, Lester took the kids to church and I stayed home and cooked a huge Southern breakfast, because my parents came over for brunch -- and brought my little brother Rashad! (Oh, my heart!)
I wish I'd thought to take a real photo of my brother with the kids, but instead all I did was snap this spur of the moment photo, when all three of the kids were jumping and playing on my Dad, and laughing hysterically. I stood in the doorframe and saw three men whom I love so much, playing with my three babies, whom I love so much. And I may or may not have gotten a little teary.
 

It's almost hard to believe that's my baby brother over there in the corner, just hanging out at my house after stuffing himself with grits and sausage and cinnamon apples. God is so good! When I think about those first few weeks when he was in the hospital...I don't even know how to put into words how I feel.

And then after my family left (waaaah!), Antywne and Mari came back to get Antony's lovey, which he left behind the night before. They stayed for a nice, long time while I fixed dinner and the boys played again with Antony so well that I almost felt like they'd read my earlier post and thought, "We'll show her that she knows NOTHING!"

Seriously - they were like three peas in a goofy pod. Cary and Dean still don't always know to appropriately play with friends (Cary especially), but it was heartening to see that they can laugh and pal around sometimes, when they want to.

Thanks to those of you who commented or sent me notes about twin-closeness and friendships. You don't know how much it helps to be able to put your concerns/anxieties out into the world and have people take you seriously, even if you might just be being a little bit crazy (all the time). Thank you all! I definitely intend to try some of the things you suggested.

Happy 4th! Will post photos of red-white-and-blue-themed children next week!

Catching up in between feeding and napping

This blogging while parenting a new baby is proving more difficult than I thought!

It's been so long since my last post, I have so much to say, and of course Clair just woke up from a nap and is only being stalled temporarily from screaming by a glorious pacifier, so I don't know how much time I'll actually have.

But here goes.

Since last we met, a bunch has happened:

1. My Dad had his 60th birthday, and I took Clair down to D.C. to meet him for lunch to celebrate. It turned into a full day, as we picked up my middle sister, Kadija, from work so she could come too, and then the two of us went to visit our baby sister, Tahira, who had come home the day before from the hospital with her new baby, Matthew.

Check out Clair and Matthew together for the first time. She is SO much bigger than he, and only a month and a day older. But I suspect this won't last long, as Matthew's Dad is pretty big guy.



2. Our family noted that it has been a year (as of yesterday) since my brother Rashad's near-fatal car accident. This is cause for much rejoicing, and we're planning a big Easter-dinner celebration to really mark the occasion.

Here's Clair and her Uncle Rashad. This picture totally brings tears to my eyes, as there were many moments a year ago when we had no idea if he'd live or die. And here he is holding my unexpected baby daughter! So many miracles in this one photo, I can't even DEAL!
(Rashad calls her Lil' C. Why? I have no idea. But he has nicknames for everyone, so this is par for the course with him. I think it's cute...)



And here's Clair with her Uncle Haleem, my other brother. We don't get to see too much of him, because he is always off doing single-guy-with-no-kids things, so we will cherish this photo as evidence that he and she did, in fact, meet! And he fell in love instantly. (Of course.)



3. I got a little over-zealous with my newfound non-pregnant energy and decided to buy a bunch of organizational things at Target to try to make my house NOT look like a tornado hit it, and all the carrying heavy things and working has me feeling oh-so-sore. I had been feeling much better, but now I am having trouble sitting up in the bed again. So today, I am taking it easy, despite the fact that it is BEAUTIFUL outside (77 and sunny), and I really want to be outdoors with my boys. But come next week, back to getting my house in order!!!

4. Speaking of the boys, they are just getting so big and awesome! They are starting to tell "stories" about things that happened or things they'd like to happen. The stories have few, if any, verbs, mind you, mainly nouns, but you can certainly piece the tale together. One such exchange might go like this:

"Big Truck Book. Broke it. Dean. Mimi take it. Time out!"
or
"Outside, puh-leeeez. Park. Children. Later. After nap. Puh-leeeez."
or
"Bathtub. Upstairs. Mommy comin' too. MOMMY!! Comin!!"

It's so great to hear them start stringing so many thoughts together. We can actually have conversations! Last night at dinner, Cary told me he wanted a "new bib," because the one from lunch had "rice on it." (Hello, Mr. Neat-n-tidy!) So I got out two new bibs, one yellow and one blue. I handed Cary the yellow one and was about to hand Dean the blue one, when Cary said, "No! Blue one! Blue bib. No yellow one!"

This is the first time he's shown a preference for one item of clothing over another one. I was shocked. Who knew he cared which color bib he wore?

This, my friends, is so much better than screaming incessantly without words. I simply handed him the blue bib instead of the yellow one, and all was quiet at the table. Oh, the wonders of communication!! I know parents of older kids lament the nonstop talkativeness that comes with age, but I can't wait! (Will this come back to bite me? I'm pretty sure it will.)

Here's a cute video of Dean, attempting to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and you can actually hear a little bit of an actual tune!



5. I am failing miserably at the "get-Clair-on-an-eating-and-sleeping-schedule" attempt. Not only does she eat and sleep when she darn well feels like it, she also still sleeps in our bed! ACK!
Do you know how opposed to this I am? And how powerless I am to stop it?
The problem is that she will sleep in her crib, but only after she is REALLY REALLY asleep. That means I have to hold her for 20-30 minutes to make sure she's knocked out before putting her down. During the day, I can do it. But at night, while lying in my bed, eyes weighted down, back hurting etc., it's really hard to hold her that long without falling asleep myself. And when that happens -- usually long before 20-30 minutes has passed-- I just lie her down in the between us and try to steal a few winks, too.
And then, when she does go down in her crib, even during the day, she never sleeps as long. She tosses and turns and frets, or sometimes wakes fully and cries to be held. Again, during the day this is bearable, but at night, I am so darn sleepy that I just want her to sleeeeeeeep (please dear Lord, let her sleeeeeep) so I allow her to snooze in between Lester and me at night. And for about a week now, that has meant at least one 4-hour stretch of sleep per night, usually between 2 and 6 or 3 and 7. Do you know how good those four hours feel? Let's just say I'm happily sacrificing my ...er..."romantic" life, ahem, by having her in the bed with us, just so I can keep those lovely four hours of sleep. That should give you an idea.

6. The boys and I (and Michelle and Clair) have been doing good with the getting out and about, enjoying this early Spring. And I am so struck by how much more like boys my boys are, and how much less like babies. At the playground, they actually interact with other children. They run from play area to play area, climbing and exploring and sliding. They fall, get up, brush their hands on their shorts and keep playing. Their knees are dirty -- or skinned -- when we get home. They have that outdoor smell at the dinner table. I can't get over it.

7. Lester and I are doing much better, now that both of us are getting a smidge more sleep (those four hours, I'm telling you!) and also now that we have determined that we HAVE to take even just a few minutes at the end of the day to stop, touch, and be together, without phones or Facebook or newspapers or anything in between us (although sometimes Clair is with us, but that can't be helped). This is working wonders, folks, and I urge you all to try it. Take 15 minutes and just lie on the bed together (not in a ...er... "romantic" way, necessarily -- unless you both want to, in which case, hells, yes!!) and hold each other and chat, or doze or watch HGTV or the Real Housewives of Atlanta and just BE together. Hold hands, or intertwine legs, or just lie cheek-to-cheek. It really makes a difference. We honestly don't get to do this every day, with all that we have going on, but just the few times a week we've done it has lifted the tension and re-introduced intimacy and made things so much lighter and sweeter. I highly recommend it.

OK, Clair woke up, drank her bottle, I had lunch and washed her up, and now she's asleep again, so that's my cue for a NAP.

I promise to get to reading all my friends' blogs soon. I miss you guys!

Big happiness in the little things

We had five full days off for the Thanksgiving break (including the weekend) and it was great to be able to spend so much time together, hanging in and hanging out. We played games and read books and ate meals together and it was lovely. (Why do we have to work again? Blah.)

So I am very,very, very thankful for honest-to-goodness quality time with my husband and babies. (Thank you, Lord.)

I am also very thankful that my brother Rashad is still alive to celebrate Thanksgiving (and Christmas and many holidays to come) with us. (Yessss, Lord! Thank you!)

Other things I am thankful for:

Cary and Dean's inaugural trip to the grocery store!

Yes, it took us 18-months to get these boys out to experience the magical world of the grocery store. It was always too hard with two infants, and then when they were new, unsure walkers, it wasn't any easier. Now that they're much more confident walkers, eliminating the need for a stroller and a cart, Lester felt like he could handle a trip to the store with them. In his report back he said the trip was..."fine." Not a ringing endorsement, but certainly not a total mess.
He said the babies sat in the car above for all of 10 minutes, and then they were done. They wanted to run around or be in the cart. They screamed because they saw cheese. They screamed because they saw milk. To keep them from totally losing it, Lester had to give them stolen contraband (string cheese -- which he did pay for, eventually.)
Note to Davis parents: Next time feed boys before going to grocery store and/or bring snacks.

I am also grateful for this video (shortened) of my boys, my Dad, my brother and my husband raking the leaves at my parents' house.
Things to note:
1. My brother!! Operating a leaf-blower!!! Alive! Well! Dressed like a homeless person! But here, with us, participating in family events just like old times! Praises and honor and glory to God!!
2. Dean "helping" put leaves in a trash bag.
3. Cary "raking" the leaves with a stick, and totally getting in my Dad's way.
4. Family togetherness that is worth more than anything.



(To keep this blog honest, I was going to add a section about all the things I'm NOT thankful for. Mostly family annoyances and growing pains-type-stuff. But you know what? I think I'll just leave this the way it is.)