So much awesome happened this weekend!

Where, where, where to begin?

I think I'll start with the MOST awesome.

Some of you might recall that I was inspired to start this blog because I stumbled across Laura Case's blog when I was pregnant with Cary and Dean. I Googled something like, "pregnant, twins, ambivalence" because I was going back and forth between being super-excited about having two much-prayed-for babies and being terrified out of my mind about having TWO babies at the same time.

Somehow Google found Laura's blog and I read an entry or two about her life with twin boys and found I couldn't stop reading. Over the course of a few days, I read every single blog post this hilarious, honest woman wrote, starting at the very beginning of her journey. And I got inspired by her to start a blog of my own. It took me until the boys were about 9 months old to actually get around to blogging, but I did, finally, and I'm so, so glad.

I love that I'm getting down the details of my babies' lives (all three of them now) which I'm sure would all grow fuzzy over time if I didn't. I'm recording my thoughts and perspectives, which I hope one day my children will find interesting or useful; I know I would absolutely love to read what my parents were thinking and doing when I was a kid. And I'm enjoying the process of (semi) regular writing, which helps me sort through complicated feelings sometimes and make sense of the chaotic (but happy) life I'm living as wife, mother, career woman, sister, friend and child of God.

All those things are invaluable, priceless even. But I had no idea that starting a blog would also bring to my life this wonderful and necessary thing: the support of other like-minded women who are also moms and wives and slightly crazed by it all. Women I'd never met - who found my blog because Laura once posted an entire blog post about ME! (you cannot imagine the screaming I did that day) -- started commenting on my blog posts, with advice, affirmation, encouragement and funny stories. And then one day, one of the women and I agreed to meet. Beth was so awesome, we hit it off immediately and we've hung out over food or drinks a few more times since then, each time topping the last one in terms of being super-fun and restorative!  And last month, when I was in Maine, I met up with Maria, another of Laura's friends, who was also amazing! I felt immediately comfortable in her house and we talked about real life things maybe 10 seconds after I walked in the door -- no time for small talk, just straight to the real deal. It was great.

So when Maria came to DC this weekend for her birthday and Beth emailed saying that the two of them wanted to meet me for dinner, I didn't hesitate. Beth AND Maria? I was in!

At the restaurant bar, I waited for the two of them to arrive and I waved happily when I saw Beth's smiling face and Maria behind her. And then...I noticed...someone else....

Could it be? Noooo?! Are my eyes deceiving me?

Wait...it is! It is! It's LAURA CASE!!

I seriously screamed like Prince just walked in the room.

Look - my eyes are still screaming in this picture we took outside the restaurant just moments after they got there.  

See? I screamed like a banshee!

I was too shocked and giddy to remember to hold my head up straight and not squint my eyes all up like a crazy person! But who cares? It's me, standing next to a woman I've admired from afar for years! Sure we've emailed and texted, but there's nothing like sitting next to a woman in a lively restaurant, ordering tapas and drinks and laughing your head off for FOUR HOURS, watching as the restaurant slowly empties and you're not even close to being ready to leave, because the women you're with are all so much better in person than they even seemed on screen and life is pretty freaking great to still be blessed to meet people who move you, inspire you, encourage you, LIKE you, and want to see you be the best person you can be.

I thank God for that. Truly. I always say that picking awesome women to be friends with is my super-power. And this weekend was just more proof.

SO glad I started blogging. If you're on the fence about it, DO IT. It's so worth it.

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Also this weekend, all five of us had a collective playdate with a new couple, Ashley and Desira Stewart, and their two little girls, who I think they're pretty private about Internet-wise, so I won't say their names. It was really, really nice. They were so welcoming and fun, and they FED US, so they are my new favorite people! (I joke. Sorta.)  It's always just a little bit weird meeting up for the first time with people you only sorta know, but it is so rewarding when the meet-up turns out just perfect!

I imagine more outings with this family in our future!

And then, I took Clair with me to a baby shower, and she was a great partner to have. No craziness or meltdowns; she was super cute at the party and gabbed, gabbed, gabbed the whole way there and back, and it was really cool to have my little buddy with me -- just the girls on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I imagine more of that too in my future -- and it makes my heart so glad.

While I was there, Lester took the boys to a little kid yoga date with their friend Spirit and a few other kids. Afterward, the boys painted a picture frame and ate pizza and played. And it was a lovely, lovely day all around.

Lester met with a handyman at the house in DC to get an estimate on doing some final small things to it before putting it on the market this summer -- so that ball is actually, finally moving. (One tiny, but necessary step closer to us getting out of our house and into a better one!)

And we also planted Black-eyed Susan seeds in the little flower pots that were once home to my miserable failure of a porch garden, so we're all eagerly watching to see if anything comes of our efforts! Hoping to have Maryland's state flower blossoming on our porch any day now!

Keep your fingers crossed!

My blog is a snapshot

When I started this blog, I wanted it to be honest, really, truly honest -- even if what I was thinking or feeling wasn't popular or was controversial. Because I honestly felt like women don't talk enough about what pregnancy is really like or breastfeeding or motherhood or marriage or being a working mother, etc. It's like an advertising for the circus, where everyone only exclaims about the spectacular sights and the cotton candy and no one tells you that the whole tent smells like elephant shit.

Consequently, when people hit hard patches in life, it makes the hard patches feel even worse, thinking that you are the only person to EVER go through whatever it is that's happening, or to ever feel whatever it is you're feeling.

Everyone else just sailed through nursing - what's wrong with me? Everyone else's kids are well-behaved. What's wrong with mine? Everyone else's houses are clean, marriages are thriving, bank accounts are full. Everyone else is running marathons and taking classes and going on hot dates with their hubbies and planning creative excursions with their kids and buying big houses and getting promotions. What's wrong with me???

If we knew that everyone felt some fear, anxiety, doubt, unhappiness, restlessness, boredom, frustration, resentment, disappointment, wistfulness, etc. (along with all the joy) -- maybe, just maybe, we'd know that we were normal, and that this too shall pass.

So I vowed to be honest - about the good and the bad. Missing my kids like crazy during the day and then wanting to send their crazy butts to bed 10 minutes after I walk in the door. That kind of thing.

But it's hard, I've discovered, to really be as honest as I'd like on this blog. One, because I made the choice to make the blog public, which means other people read it -- and are likely to judge or form opinions. I've had this happen before with some things I've written, where readers/friends have taken things slightly the wrong way. Not wanting to be misunderstood, I guard myself and my words more than I thought I would.

And most importantly, this blog is most often about my life with the most important people in the world to me. I don't want to ever embarrass or hurt them, or give them the idea that something I'm feeling temporarily is something more serious than it is. Generally, my thoughts are just my thoughts right now -- who knows what I'll be thinking next week? But if you had a chance to read your Mom's journal and came across even one entry where she expressed frustration or disappointment about her life as a mother, wouldn't you wonder if that was how she really felt, secretly, all the time?

This blog is a snapshot, not the full picture. So I feel extra careful about what part of the picture I choose to share.

That being said, I have things I plan to post in the coming days -- nothing Earth-shattering or life-changing, but just deep down real thoughts I've been having -- but I wanted to get this out first, a preamble, if you will.

So hopefully when C, D and C read this blog years from now they'll know in what spirit to take any entry they land on.

And maybe the rest of you will too.