So much awesome happened this weekend!

Where, where, where to begin?

I think I'll start with the MOST awesome.

Some of you might recall that I was inspired to start this blog because I stumbled across Laura Case's blog when I was pregnant with Cary and Dean. I Googled something like, "pregnant, twins, ambivalence" because I was going back and forth between being super-excited about having two much-prayed-for babies and being terrified out of my mind about having TWO babies at the same time.

Somehow Google found Laura's blog and I read an entry or two about her life with twin boys and found I couldn't stop reading. Over the course of a few days, I read every single blog post this hilarious, honest woman wrote, starting at the very beginning of her journey. And I got inspired by her to start a blog of my own. It took me until the boys were about 9 months old to actually get around to blogging, but I did, finally, and I'm so, so glad.

I love that I'm getting down the details of my babies' lives (all three of them now) which I'm sure would all grow fuzzy over time if I didn't. I'm recording my thoughts and perspectives, which I hope one day my children will find interesting or useful; I know I would absolutely love to read what my parents were thinking and doing when I was a kid. And I'm enjoying the process of (semi) regular writing, which helps me sort through complicated feelings sometimes and make sense of the chaotic (but happy) life I'm living as wife, mother, career woman, sister, friend and child of God.

All those things are invaluable, priceless even. But I had no idea that starting a blog would also bring to my life this wonderful and necessary thing: the support of other like-minded women who are also moms and wives and slightly crazed by it all. Women I'd never met - who found my blog because Laura once posted an entire blog post about ME! (you cannot imagine the screaming I did that day) -- started commenting on my blog posts, with advice, affirmation, encouragement and funny stories. And then one day, one of the women and I agreed to meet. Beth was so awesome, we hit it off immediately and we've hung out over food or drinks a few more times since then, each time topping the last one in terms of being super-fun and restorative!  And last month, when I was in Maine, I met up with Maria, another of Laura's friends, who was also amazing! I felt immediately comfortable in her house and we talked about real life things maybe 10 seconds after I walked in the door -- no time for small talk, just straight to the real deal. It was great.

So when Maria came to DC this weekend for her birthday and Beth emailed saying that the two of them wanted to meet me for dinner, I didn't hesitate. Beth AND Maria? I was in!

At the restaurant bar, I waited for the two of them to arrive and I waved happily when I saw Beth's smiling face and Maria behind her. And then...I noticed...someone else....

Could it be? Noooo?! Are my eyes deceiving me?

Wait...it is! It is! It's LAURA CASE!!

I seriously screamed like Prince just walked in the room.

Look - my eyes are still screaming in this picture we took outside the restaurant just moments after they got there.  

See? I screamed like a banshee!

I was too shocked and giddy to remember to hold my head up straight and not squint my eyes all up like a crazy person! But who cares? It's me, standing next to a woman I've admired from afar for years! Sure we've emailed and texted, but there's nothing like sitting next to a woman in a lively restaurant, ordering tapas and drinks and laughing your head off for FOUR HOURS, watching as the restaurant slowly empties and you're not even close to being ready to leave, because the women you're with are all so much better in person than they even seemed on screen and life is pretty freaking great to still be blessed to meet people who move you, inspire you, encourage you, LIKE you, and want to see you be the best person you can be.

I thank God for that. Truly. I always say that picking awesome women to be friends with is my super-power. And this weekend was just more proof.

SO glad I started blogging. If you're on the fence about it, DO IT. It's so worth it.

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Also this weekend, all five of us had a collective playdate with a new couple, Ashley and Desira Stewart, and their two little girls, who I think they're pretty private about Internet-wise, so I won't say their names. It was really, really nice. They were so welcoming and fun, and they FED US, so they are my new favorite people! (I joke. Sorta.)  It's always just a little bit weird meeting up for the first time with people you only sorta know, but it is so rewarding when the meet-up turns out just perfect!

I imagine more outings with this family in our future!

And then, I took Clair with me to a baby shower, and she was a great partner to have. No craziness or meltdowns; she was super cute at the party and gabbed, gabbed, gabbed the whole way there and back, and it was really cool to have my little buddy with me -- just the girls on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I imagine more of that too in my future -- and it makes my heart so glad.

While I was there, Lester took the boys to a little kid yoga date with their friend Spirit and a few other kids. Afterward, the boys painted a picture frame and ate pizza and played. And it was a lovely, lovely day all around.

Lester met with a handyman at the house in DC to get an estimate on doing some final small things to it before putting it on the market this summer -- so that ball is actually, finally moving. (One tiny, but necessary step closer to us getting out of our house and into a better one!)

And we also planted Black-eyed Susan seeds in the little flower pots that were once home to my miserable failure of a porch garden, so we're all eagerly watching to see if anything comes of our efforts! Hoping to have Maryland's state flower blossoming on our porch any day now!

Keep your fingers crossed!

My blog is a snapshot

When I started this blog, I wanted it to be honest, really, truly honest -- even if what I was thinking or feeling wasn't popular or was controversial. Because I honestly felt like women don't talk enough about what pregnancy is really like or breastfeeding or motherhood or marriage or being a working mother, etc. It's like an advertising for the circus, where everyone only exclaims about the spectacular sights and the cotton candy and no one tells you that the whole tent smells like elephant shit.

Consequently, when people hit hard patches in life, it makes the hard patches feel even worse, thinking that you are the only person to EVER go through whatever it is that's happening, or to ever feel whatever it is you're feeling.

Everyone else just sailed through nursing - what's wrong with me? Everyone else's kids are well-behaved. What's wrong with mine? Everyone else's houses are clean, marriages are thriving, bank accounts are full. Everyone else is running marathons and taking classes and going on hot dates with their hubbies and planning creative excursions with their kids and buying big houses and getting promotions. What's wrong with me???

If we knew that everyone felt some fear, anxiety, doubt, unhappiness, restlessness, boredom, frustration, resentment, disappointment, wistfulness, etc. (along with all the joy) -- maybe, just maybe, we'd know that we were normal, and that this too shall pass.

So I vowed to be honest - about the good and the bad. Missing my kids like crazy during the day and then wanting to send their crazy butts to bed 10 minutes after I walk in the door. That kind of thing.

But it's hard, I've discovered, to really be as honest as I'd like on this blog. One, because I made the choice to make the blog public, which means other people read it -- and are likely to judge or form opinions. I've had this happen before with some things I've written, where readers/friends have taken things slightly the wrong way. Not wanting to be misunderstood, I guard myself and my words more than I thought I would.

And most importantly, this blog is most often about my life with the most important people in the world to me. I don't want to ever embarrass or hurt them, or give them the idea that something I'm feeling temporarily is something more serious than it is. Generally, my thoughts are just my thoughts right now -- who knows what I'll be thinking next week? But if you had a chance to read your Mom's journal and came across even one entry where she expressed frustration or disappointment about her life as a mother, wouldn't you wonder if that was how she really felt, secretly, all the time?

This blog is a snapshot, not the full picture. So I feel extra careful about what part of the picture I choose to share.

That being said, I have things I plan to post in the coming days -- nothing Earth-shattering or life-changing, but just deep down real thoughts I've been having -- but I wanted to get this out first, a preamble, if you will.

So hopefully when C, D and C read this blog years from now they'll know in what spirit to take any entry they land on.

And maybe the rest of you will too.

Need more hours in the day!

Here is my schedule today:

6 a.m. - Wake up, reluctantly. Feel like vomiting because I'm so tired.

6:10 - Treadmill for a half-hour brisk walk. (This was my first day trying this. I realllllly intend to keep it up. Please send encouragement.) Feel like dying, because I'm so woefully out of shape.

6:45 - Shower/dress/Make bed/Help kids finish getting ready for school.

7:50 - Drop kids off at school. Run to 7-11 to pick up coffee. Decide not to buy a lottery ticket (This is a big deal, mind you.)

8:30 - Meeting with my boss and a youngster looking for nonprofit work

9 a.m. - Prepare for 9:30 interview. Return/send some email.  (Steal a few minutes to write this blog post.)

9:30 - Interview

10:30  - Interview

11:30 - Interview

1 p.m. - Interview

2 p.m. - Interview

3 p.m. - Leave for assignment

3:30  - Assignment (with a photographer.)

6 p.m. - Hair appointment (We're going to a fancy black tie wedding on Saturday.)

7:30- Go to Target/Walmart for Pull-Ups for boys/diapers for Clair. And also ever-more hair products for me.

9 p.m. - Home/dinner/husband/collapse.

Minus the treadmill, which is new as of today, my life has been looking very much like this lately.
And my weekends have been so jam-packed this month, we haven't even made it back to church -- and won't until NEXT Sunday.

Now I ask you, when I am supposed to blog?

When am I supposed to spend (quality/instructive) time with God?

When am I supposed to get into Book 2 of "Game of Thrones?"

When am I SUPPOSED TO EAT?

Friend-filled weekend

I know I said a few posts ago that as I approach 40, I wanted to make sure I got to see friends and loved ones -- both old and new -- more often.

I just didn't except to do that all in one weekend.

Friday night, my friend Andrea invited me to a party/fundraiser. I was tired (of course) and had nothing to wear, but Andrea is always supportive of what I do, so I wanted to support her. The shindig was at a fancy rented-out space in Harbor East, and there were drinks and music and VIP lounges and things I haven't seen in years! The thing I enjoyed the most was getting to laugh and talk and hang out with my journalist friends -- who put to bed the myth that journalists are frumpy, fashionless people.

Check out these hot girls! I stole this photo from Jeneba's Facebook page. So I can't explain what's going on here. But here we are, doing our best super model "make your upper arm look thinner" pose.

On Saturday, I was invited to the surprise 40th birthday cookout for a good friend of mine from high school. Juanita and I actually went to middle school together, can you believe that? But we solidified our friendship at Eleanor Roosevelt High School, where we joined a band of gals who were all in the science and technology program (Hahahaa! Me and science and tech. What was I thinking?)
I neglected to take even one photo of this mini high school reunion, so instead, I will have to post this horrible throwback of the six of us from some ERHS Homecoming dance. Please note the horrendous hair.

Nicole, April, Juanita, Carla B., Carla J, and me. I also stole this picture from someone's Facebook page. Someone who is not a friend of mine. Because obviously no friend of mine would EVER post this picture on Facebook.

Now that we've all stopped laughing, I need to point out that I really love the fact that I've stayed in touch (not as much as I'd like, but still in touch) with my best girls from high school, who have all grown into amazing women with great careers, beautiful families and fun and supportive personalities. It just points out to me that one of my absolute undeniable talents is picking friends. I am mediocre at a lot of things, but I kick ass at that.

Happy birthday, Juanita!

And then, right after leaving a cookout with some of my oldest friends, I hurried up the road to meet up and have drinks with some of my newest friends: Beth and Angel!

I really tried to fix the crazy eyes! But you get the picture - it's Beth, me and Angel, out having a ball. And apparently being possessed by the devil...

We met up at a fancy, fancy restaurant (Don Pablo's - ahem) and ate bad Mexican food, drank a couple dranky-dranks, got free sopapilla because our server and the service was so terrible, and laughed, dished and had the most frank and encouraging conversation I've had in months. Something about being Mom-bloggers connects us in a way I would never have predicted. And these two smart and funny women are a big reason I'm so glad I started blogging.

Angel and Beth hit it off famously and I would like to point out here again that this speaks to my ability to spot fabulous women from a mile away. Not only do I know who I'll get along with, but I can bring other awesome people together!

It just hit me! Knowing amazing women is my super power!

Anyway, it was a great friend-filled weekend, which ended on Sunday morning with a brunch date with my four best friends in the world: Lester, Clair, Dean and Cary.

(P.S. Shout-out to Lester for holding it down with all the kiddos while I was gallivanting the whole weekend with friends, old and new.)

I heart blogging!

After my blog post from yesterday, I got some really super-sweet, encouraging, supportive messages from some very wonderful bloggy friends, Janna, Laura C. and Angel C. Thanks so much you guys! You have no idea how much your support means.

Their notes made me start thinking about how awesome this blog has been for so many reasons -- most especially the support system, and getting to meet awesome women who are all about loving and caring for their families, and also taking good care of themselves. That is invaluable! But also, this blog really does help me keep track of the things that you tend to forget as a busy Mommy.

For example, I looked back at some old posts of mine and realized that Clair should be getting some teeth pretty soon (if her brothers are any indication). I had completely blanked out about Clair and her teeth, which is so funny because with the boys, who were late teethers, I was so afraid they'd be toothless for life that I was fairly staring in their mouths all day long, hoping to see something white poking through their gums. I had an actual tooth count going in the house! I was obsessed. But Clair's teeth, or lack thereof, had not even crossed my mind, not even once. For the record, I actually feel like this is a better way to be about children's teeth, seeing as how I have absolutely no control over when they get them. Live and learn.

In the same vein, it occurred to me after re-reading some old posts, that by 11 months (which Clair will be next week), neither of the boys were saying any real words or attempting walking. In fact, it took them until a couple weeks before their first birthday before they started doing the "look-ma-no-hands" stance. Clair, on the other hand, has already started doing that -- and will stand without assistance for 4 maybe 5 seconds at a time, at least once or twice a day. So -- here again -- I think she's going to be ahead of her brothers a bit. She also will take a sock and try to put it on her foot, she'll put the hairbrush to her hair and attempt to "brush," and she steals my phone all the time and smacks herself in the head with it, trying to put it to her ear. So my girl, of course, is a veritable genius. Albeit a toothless one.

When I talked to Lester about this last night, during the kids' bathtime, he was surprised to remember that the boys weren't walking until they were almost 14 months, and that they didn't have teeth by the time they were Clair's age. And I had to admit that I didn't remember most of that either. It's only because I kept this blog that I remembered those things. Are they that important in the scheme of things? Maybe not. But it's just one example of why I'm glad to have a reference for so many things in their lives -- and mine -- that I'd likely forget otherwise, in the hustle-bustle of every day life.

I know that people think that there's too much sharing in today's world. They say people put too much "out there," and that, really,your memories are all you need. And particularly when it comes to kids lately, there's a lot of discussion about how much they will really appreciate the fact that their Mom told the world in her blog or on Facebook about every little thing they did and said while in diapers. (The consensus is: Not much.)

But for me, this blog has become a necessity. It is not just a journal or the kids' online Baby Books (especially since they ain't got no other Baby Books -- sorry kids!); it has become my electronic memory. Some would say, "Well, couldn't you keep the blog private then?" But why would I ever give up this place where I have come to experience real community and friendship and camaraderie with other women I admire?

Blogging takes a few minutes a day. It is free. Many days it is cathartic. Other days it is revealing -- just the act of typing out my thoughts and feelings helps me sort through things I've been ambivalent or confused about. It helps me -- in the midst of working, cooking, reading, Lego-ing, kid-wrangling, Lester-loving, organizing, family-visiting, (occasionally) cleaning and thinking about exercising -- to get quiet and still and spend time with myself.

I am so glad I started blogging. I hope some of you who are on the fence about starting a blog will think about doing it too.

Using my blog to force myself to be accountable

Blogging has many perks.
I get to vent. I formulate my thoughts.
I'm recording events/photos/memories for posterity's sake.
I get advice, support and encouragement from friends, new and old.
And now, I'm adding "accountability" to the list of good things about blogging.

Lester and I share Google docs about all kinds of things: our budget, invites to activities, letters we're co-editing, possible names for Curve Ball, etc.
We've had a doc listing the things we need to do to get ready for our daughter's arrival for weeks now, and neither of us has made one attempt to do anything about any item on the list. We're pathetic.
I keep reminding Lester that soon -- and very soon -- I will be too pregnant to be of any help to him whatsoever in this department (save ordering things online, which I can do VERY well), so if he wants my help, we need to get on it. Then I figured maybe if I get on it, he'll follow suit.
Problem is, I never get on it.

So...I decided to post our entire doc here, so that is now in the public domain. My hope is that by putting it out there for all the world to see, I will feel more compelled to act.

Yes, I'm using you blogosphere. No shame in my game.

So here's the list. My goal is to have this all done by early January, since Curve Ball is due Feb. 28! (Yikes!!)


Things to Do Before the New Baby Comes

1. Organize and streamline basement storage area to prepare for guest room stuff coming to live there

2. Move guest room furniture and racks of shoes to basement storage area

3. Paint guest room

4. Move boys’ cribs and furniture into guest room
Little table and chairs possibilities:

http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&rh=n%3A165793011%2Ck%3Atoddler%20table%20chair%20sets&page=1

5. Paint boys’ room (now the new baby’s room)

6. Buy furniture/decor for new baby’s room

Possibilities:
http://www.amazon.com/RoomMates-RMK1439SLM-Scroll-Stick-MegaPack/dp/B003NGTNFG/ref=sr_1_1?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1318860787&sr=1-1

http://www.babysupermall.com/main/products/kli/kli5024bed4.html

http://www.nurserydepot.com/cribbedding/productdetails.asp?id=1-10001834-10001836-148224-4-2&id2=602-0-0-0-0&


7. Move furniture into new baby’s room

Baby Stuff We Will Need

1. Single stroller
2. Triple stroller
3. Crib
4. Booster seat
5. Playmat
6. Clothes
7. Diapers
8. Crib mattress pad and sheets, comforter etc. (bedding)

Also will need ONE additional convertible carseat (for one of the boys) -- hopefully donated!


So there it is...the list of things to do before Curve Ball arrives.

And we can add to that list: SETTLE ON A NAME FOR CURVE BALL!!! Gracious, we're pathetic.

Blogfriends are a blessing

When I decided to start a blog, I had no idea what the outcome would be.

I wasn't sure if it would end up being more of a chore to do, or so boring that I'd have to drag myself to do it. I really wasn't sure if I'd have the sticktuitveness to keep it up, keeping in mind my hectic schedule (and Gemini-personality).

And I didn't share the blog with anyone close to me for quite awhile, because I didn't know how much I wanted folks so closely involved in all of my thoughts and activities; I didn't want to be judged; and I was pretty sure no one would give a good gosh darn about any boring thing I had to say. How many frikkin' Mommy blogs are there out there anyway? Compared to some of the really popular ones, mine is mundane to the nth degree.

Let me just say, many months later, I am SO glad I started this blog!

Many things are gratifying about blogging, including the ability to sort out my own muddled thoughts about things when confronted with a blank screen and a keyboard. And I am extremely excited about having a real record of Dean and Cary's early months on Earth -- for their sake, later on in life.

But one very unexpected treasure about having a blog is the tremendous support and encouragement I have gotten from people I barely know or don't know at all!

Commenters -- mostly from LauraC's fanclub -- have chimed in when I was anxious, unsure, sick-and-tired or just plain tired. Each comment has bouyed me, lifted me up, informed me or, at the very least, made me laugh. (I can't tell you how nice it is to laugh when you've been up all night with two irrational babies who think 2 a.m. is a great time to wake up and scream for two hours).

Yesterday, I was about as down as I've been in a long time. I was scared, depressed, sad, guilt-ridden and bitter.

My newfound blogfriends (and some of my friends IRL) jumped in with practical advice, encouragement galore and real sympathy, all of which I SO needed. I'm so grateful for these ladies who share their wisdom and kindness with me, without even really knowing me. I feel truly blessed.

I still feel many of the things I felt yesterday, but with support, encouragement and love from (near) strangers, I somehow feel more capable of tackling this problem. With grace.

I know not everyone is a Christian, and I don't try to push my religion on others. But I do have to say that I know for a fact that God works and speaks through people. And so, through something as simple as commenting on a worried-woman's blog, I can see and feel God's love.

And no one could have ever told me that starting a blog would have resulted in something as beautiful and phenomenal as that.

Blub, blub, blubbbb....(I'm rendered speechless)

OK, after this week, I promise not to gush anymore about my girl-crush on Laura Case and her utter and complete awesomeness.
But, you must, MUST see this post from her blog today! (Shut the front door -- I'm in it!!)

http://jonandlaura.blogspot.com/2011/01/show-me-mommy-blogfriend-edition.html

This post just reinforces for me that I made the right decision to journal/blog about my boys and my life as a wife and new mom. I've joined a community of women who take their jobs as Moms seriously, but not themselves! Hooray for us!

Oh, and I think I'm supposed to post a pic of me and my boys as this is Show Me the Mommy day! (I'm new to this, so I think that's what I'm supposed to do...) Sadly, I have very few pics of me and my munchkins on this iPhone of mine, but I'll try to post one from waaaaay back in the day, when they were teeny little sleepy things. My fabulous photographer friend Monica Lopossay, who shot amazing photos for The Baltimore Sun for years, took this at our house. I think the babies were 3 months here, because I was still on maternity leave. Ahhh, maternity leave!