I got 99 problems and they're all birthday party related

The boys turn 3 on May 11. I turn 40 on June 11.

This year, Lester and I both want to plan a proper party for C & D, with their school friends and cupcakes and fun, fun, fun!

I also want to do something -- something -- to celebrate my entry into the fabulous, fearless, far-from-frumpy 40s!

But I am struggling with the logistics of planning two parties at once, and frankly, the cost.

And whereas Lester and I pretty much have decided to have a cookout party for the boys at a nearby park, I can't make up my mind about what I want to do for my own celebration.

At first, I had this grand plan to have "Tanika's Diamonique Jubilee," patterned after the Queen's Diamond Jubilee. As we all know, we ain't got diamond money over here, hence the "diamonique." That means lots of fun, but no flotilla (I know, sad, isn't it?)

I envisioned a big room full of all my friends and loved ones from various points in my life, eating and drinking and dancing, and laughing at photos of me and my various horrible hairstyles throughout the years. But the problem with being a friendly person is that you amass a lot of friends! The list just kept growing and growing (some of you were even on it!) And the funfest I'd envisioned turned from a birthday party into an open bar, PA-system-for-the-speeches-and-scrolling-photos, catered-wedding-like-affair. I looked at our checking account and looked back at the Google doc I'd started and just cracked up laughing.

So I thought maybe I'd have a nice dinner at a favorite restaurant. But I can't get the guest list down to a reasonable number and the thought of making people pay for their own food and drink at my Jubilee made me feel like a loser.

I don't want to go on a trip, not for this -- I want to celebrate with my friends and loved ones!  So a luxurious week at this Jamaican resort is out. (For our 10th wedding anniversary, though? Now that's a possibility!)

Finally, I settled on a good old-fashioned house party. But as you know, the Davis house is crammed as it is with too many people and far too many toys. There's really no room to bring the house down the way I'd want to. And there's still the cost and the work involved in cooking for a jillion people, buying the drinks, cleaning the house (before and after) and figuring out what to do with the kids while I blast New Edition and Justin Timberlake and classic 80s hip-hop.

Argh!

Not to mention the fact that I am LOSING MY MIND on Etsy finding all these cute party accessories for the boys' party. Do you think it's crazy to spend $55 on cupcake wrappers and toppers? $30 on personalized noisemakers?? Am I going MAD??

And have we picked a "nearby park" for this cookout? Noooooo. Of course not.  It's only a month away. ARGH!

Anyway, I'll figure it all out and it'll all be just lovely, I know. But I need this space to rant and de-stress, so that's why all of you get to be privy to my first-world whining. Aren't you lucky?!