Clair's synapses are being PRUNED!

Clair does not have a synapse checklist.

Surprisingly, I have been fine with this fact, thinking, "Oh, I'll get to it."

But then I read this:

Between ages 1 and 2, the cerebral cortex adds more than 2 million new synapses — the connections between brain cells — every second, according to Zero to Three, a nonprofit educational group. By age 2, your toddler will have more than 100 trillion synapses, the most she'll ever have in her life. That's part of the reason she has such an incredible capacity to learn.
This period of "synaptic exuberance" can last until age 8, but it's also accompanied by the constant pruning of unused synapses. By the time your child reaches adulthood, more than 50 percent of those neural pathways will be gone.

And now I am freaking the funk out!  Me somewhat adopting an easy-breezy, parent-of-three attitude toward child-rearing is ruining my child! I have got to get going with my poor little youngest baby girl, whose synaptic exuberance is being snuffed out by my horrible parenting.

Did you read that paragraph? Her unused synapses are being PRUNED right now! While Cary and Dean subject her to watching "Daniel Tiger" and "Super Why" a thousand times every weekend, she is being PRUNED! Like a stubby little tree! Pruned!

I should have known this was the case. Consider:

• Clair does not know any Arabic.
• Clair eats tissues that she finds on the floor.
• Clair does not know her left from her right.
• Clair chokes (and soaks) herself every time she tries to drink from a cup.
• Clair says "You're welcome!" when she's supposed to say "Thank you!" Even if you say, "Say thank you, Clair!" she says, "You're welcome!"
• Clair still calls Cary "Dee."
• Clair poops, then comes and tells us, "Pee-Pee."

See? My child's neural pathways ain't right!! We only have SIX MONTHS left before she is likely to not have a synapse left in her little curly head.

I suck at parenting.

P.S. Also, I wish I never knew that children add synapses EVERY SECOND!! I need a drink.