Maybe it's because we're friends with such liberal, pro-public-school people, so we don't want to be seen as "those people" -- the pretentious private school people who think they're better and whose kids are preppy assholes. Also, we're going to be flat broke for the next 20 years, so we know people think we're crazy and wonder why the hell we would do that to ourselves. :-)
It also might have something to do with the fact that, even within our own families, there's still a tension between "bettering oneself or one's own family" and so-called "acting" or "wanting to be" white. (And yes, this is a real thing, despite people who want to believe it's not.)
Navigating both dynamics -- friends who don't understand your choices and family members who fear you're judging and abandoning them -- is trying, to say the least.
I
always seem to become very inarticulate when I try to make our reasons
known.
But this article, even though it's old, really gets to the large
and small of it.
Here's the link: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=114327591
Most of you know my family background, and Lester's. So perhaps you can see how it is that we see ourselves in some of the imagery here.
We know that private school is not "the answer." We know there are pitfalls and peer pressures wherever they go. In fact, there's a whole slew of new worries we're taking on by sending our children to a school where they'll be surrounded by privilege, potentially isolated, and exposed to vices we likely can't even imagine. And who knows how we'll feel once they actually get there. We could be singing an entirely different tune in a year or five.
But for us, right now, moving out of our neighborhood and sending the kids to private school seems like the best choice for our family.
I know we don't have to explain ourselves to anyone. And maybe you still won't agree with us, even after reading/listening to this. That's really OK. We don't have to agree.
But it would mean a lot for the people I like and love to at least understand.
3 comments:
I don't have kids and I'm not part of your family, but I totally understand. I feel like my parents did the same for me and it reaped it's rewards. And, given the choice, I'll do the same for my kids.
That was a great article I have now bookmarked for future reference when I have these same conversations with people. You know I totally understand your reasoning because it is the same as mine. It's tough out here and I want to give him every chance I can to get started off on the best foot. There is no sure way to ensure success for our children but I know I want him to have full and complete education in school; one that incorporates art, music, social development and outdoor activities. Unfortunately, public schools need public funding and that comes from standardized tests which are very important. The higher the test scores, the better the school is perceived to be, and the more funding the school gets. AND, as the article you highlighted a week ago noted, corporations write the books that the tests are based on. "Disadvantaged" schools can't afford those expensive text books so they get (cheaper) outdated versions which impact the tests scores, and the saga continues.
In the end, every child is different. Every parent is different. I know my child and I know what he needs and you know your children and you know what they need. It's really nobody else's concern. Can we stop judging people on such frivolous things? #DropsMic #RantOver
It's really too bad you feel you have to explain yourself at all, because getting your children a great education is worth it because an education is EVERYTHING.
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