The devil is in the shoes

I've had twins now for going on 4 and a half years, and still it never gets old to me to take note of all the ways that two little people -- grown in the same womb, fed the same foods, loved by the same two parents, with the same rules and [pretty much] the same experiences -- can be so diametrically different.

This is a photo I took this morning of Cary's side of the bed (left) and Dean's side of the bed.
I recently asked the children to keep their shoes in their room instead of in the living room shoe basket, so this is the first time they really have shoes in their room. And so today was the first time I really noticed that this is how each boy voluntarily keeps his shoes.

One of these kids is going to make a good college roommate someday. :-)

Listen, having twin infants was hard. Having twin toddlers and pre-schoolers was and sometimes still is very challenging. But I really am so glad I get to have this experience. Watching Cary and Dean grow up into two very different human beings reminds us that our kids are who they are, in spite of our parenting. This is a good thing because, as parents, we all have moments where we are tempted to feel smug about our kids' performance or behavior or character traits - and then judge other parents for theirs. And there are also far too many moments when we beat ourselves up for the same things, and feel jealous of other parents who are obviously much better at this, or worse -- just have better kids! (Guilty -- on both counts.)

Having two children the same age helps us to keep some perspective. Dean isn't helpful and neat because we have meticulously instilled that in him, necessarily, any more than Cary is lazy and the messiest kid on the planet because we don't stay on top of him.

They just are who they are. And both of them - no, all three of my babies -- are just right exactly the way they are.

When the "experts" try to make you feel like your kids will do right if only YOU would do better as a parent -- just think of Cary's and Dean's shoes.

 You're welcome.