Shine bright like a diamond!

I'm home sick today and finally, finally, after sleeping most of the day, I have a little time to myself to put down in words the amazingness that was Girls' Weekend.

Some of you might recall I was less than enthusiastic about the trip in the very beginning. Not because I didn't very much want to see and catch up with this bright, hilarious, wonderful group of women, but because I worried about being away from my kids for three days and leaving Lester alone all that time with two 3-year-olds and a 2-year-old (can you imagine?)

But I am SO glad I went.

The obvious reasons need little explaining. I had three days of free time - truly free. No demands whatsoever from anyone. This was unspeakably glorious! I also ate amazing meals (it's NOLA, hello!) and drank delicious cocktails and then could sleep in the next morning. People without children have no idea the luxury of being able to wake up naturally after a night of healthy drankin'...
I got to laugh and talk with women I like and admire and missed. And I met C. Thomas Howell on the way home!!! What's not to love, right?

But the real boon of the weekend came entirely unexpectedly.

I anticipated all the laughter. I anticipated all the great conversation. I did not anticipate all the crying. Or all the encouragement. All the building-up. All the intense, but loving, scrutiny and accountability -- the kind that can only lead to self-improvement down the road. I had no idea all that was coming. Or how much I needed it.

But from the first moment we all sat down for a meal, there were confessions, tears and support (all before dessert). Apparently, before I arrived, the same thing had happened at dinner with another woman. And before I left New Orleans, it would happen again  -- and again. Each one of us had things we needed to say, to reveal or to lament -- about marriage and parenting, careers and friendship, love and ambition, transgressions and regrets, loneliness and self-doubt. And when one of us would venture out into the water of vulnerability, all the rest of us would swarm around her like bouys, arms outstretched. Sometimes to pull her in for a hug; many times to push her on to truth.

It was, in a word, DEEP.

I knew I'd missed having girlfriends around, but even I was stunned by how needy we all seemed for sister-love.

Back at home, we all marveled at how emotionally naked we'd gotten -- after not being in the same place all at the same time for more than 10 years.

One of my girls sent us this message afterward, which I've edited a bit, to protect identities.

Was talking to my good friend, XXXX, this morning. She just got back from a long girls' weekend of her own - a birthday celebration at a Miami spa. I think her group had six gals, all of whom are friends from high school.

Anyway, she mentioned that the weekend had been insanely intense: in-jokes, crying, liquor, sleep, laughing, confessions, etc. She said it felt like an exorcism or maybe a rebirth. That beyond the ties of love, husbands, kids and friendship, there was the specter of their shared mid-40s. And that, my friends, is a scary place to be.

That must be what we tapped into in New Orleans. That this time in a woman's life opens her up to much intense emotion and self-reflection. Because how else to explain how quickly we reached that amazing place where we showed ourselves to each other after so many years apart? It definitely could have gone another way, but by the time we all got to [the house in New Orleans], it was ON.

I'm turning 45 on Sunday, and can I tell you how excited I am about it?! And I wasn't, really, before our NOLA retreat. These past couple of years have been especially tiring and scary. I've been lower than I've ever been in my entire life ....But New Orleans brought me back to life in a surprising way. I can face my new life with renewed passion and energy.
 
She is so right, y'all! Reading that again, I get all goosebumpy. My life is not on hold (remember that post from just a few days before I left for my trip?) I just need to approach my life with renewed passion and energy!

Since coming back from NOLA, I started Sugar-Free February, determined not to let sugar continue its chokehold on me. I'm not saying I'll never eat another sugary thing, that's ridiculous. But I want to be in control of what I eat, not the other way around. My girls helped me to get to this point -- they made me KNOW that I can do it. They also encouraged me (as many of you have as well) to take the time to get to the gym or to yoga and believe that my children will be just fine for a few hours a week without me -- even if I work all day long. I'm mulling that one over, but I'm much closer to pulling the trigger on at least ONE night of yoga a week than I was before my trip.

And maybe most importantly, we have all started talking about writing a book together -- and have a conference call planned for tomorrow night to talk about what that book might be, what it might look like, what do we regular gals -- wives, mothers, friends, writers -- have to say that hasn't already been said a million times.

But we know that whatever it is, it will somehow tap into the unofficial theme we adopted over the weekend, a running inside joke about a comically-sung Rihanna tune that somehow turned into our mantra: Shine Bright Like a Diamond.

Because whatever we do, wherever life has taken us or will take us, we know we all have the ability, the capacity, the responsibility to shine bright in our respective worlds (whatever that means to us individually), like the diamonds we are.

Food!

Friends!

Faraway friends who crashed the weekend! (So glad she did!)

Fuel!!

The French Quarter!

And the Fountain Lounge, where a five-hour sweat lodge, over never-ending cocktails, went down. I will never forget this night. EPIC.

I highly encourage you all to take a girls' trip, if you haven't done one already. You'll be so glad you did.

Girls' trip!!

Tomorrow morning, I leave to go on my first post-kids girls' trip. Whoo-hoo!

Here's a photo to give a hint as to where I am going:

That's right, y'all! I am headed to NOLA!

I'm going with four amazing, talented, beautiful women who all worked at The Baltimore Sun when I was there.

All of us are still writing, though none at newspapers. Four of us are married, one is divorced. Four of us have children, but only one of us is a bit of a nervous wreck about leaving her kids for three days. Bet you can guess who that one is.

Nevertheless, I know it will be fine -- better than fine, actually. The kids will have a great time hanging out with their Dad, who has made lots of fun plans for them, and my sides are already prepping for the soreness I'm sure to have after all the laughing that will take place this weekend.

Also, Erin (who owns the house we're staying in) already has reservations for us at crazy-good restaurants, like this one on Saturday night. So my tastebuds (and waistline) are prepping for three days of non-stop phantasmagoria.

I am excited about catching up with my friend Candice, too, who lives in LaPlace - about 35 minutes outside New Orleans. (I met her at the Kansas City Star. She left to become a lawyer, and then a full-time SAHM. It's interesting to me how almost none of my journalist friends [save a few] stayed in the business. Hmmm.)

So this should be a great weekend of eating, drinking, talking, laughing and, mostly, feeding my soul.

I can't wait!

Clair's 18-month-check-up and other tidbits

Clair had her 18-month check-up yesterday.
Checkups with her are such a breeze; I almost feel like we should just phone them in to save time. She's such an easy kid (in this area, anyway) with no issues or concerns, we just kinda sail through the whole appointment bing bang boom and done.

Here are her stats:

She weighs 22 lbs., 14 oz.
She's 31 and 3/4 inches tall.
She has 8 teeth.

As usual, Dr. Bodnar was impressed with her verbal ability and amused by her opinionated personality.

She got her shots, cried a little, and we don't have to come back until she's 2! Yikes!

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Speaking of Clair turning 2, I am freaking out just a little bit. You see, a group of my girlfriends sorta stumbled into making a plan for a girls' weekend in New Orleans. At first, it all seemed hypothetical. You know, the whole, "We should all get together!" thing that everyone says and sorta means but never actually does anything about.

But it only takes one earnest and reliable, whip-everyone-else-into-shape-friend to take that whole train from the station to the open road. That friend is Erika Peterman. And so now, she, Lisa Respers, Erin Texeira, Jill Hudson and I are slated to go to NOLA over Presidents' Day weekend. We planned for three nights of no husbands/no kids, eating great food, drinking wine, lounging around reminiscing about our days working at The Baltimore Sun, and cracking up about any and everything.

I admit, I was hesitant a little. I want to go, boy do I want to go. But I felt guilty. Three nights and almost three days of leaving Lester with the kids? It seemed so decadent! And he's never left us for that long! I felt like a bad wife and Mom.

But my girls convinced me (sent me virtual slaps in the face is more like it) that I had nothing to feel guilty about and that all would be fine. I started to get excited.

And THEN,  I realized that President's Day weekend is Clair's BIRTHDAY weekend. In fact, if I stayed until Monday (the holiday), I'd actually MISS her 2nd birthday.

Oh hells no.

I'm all for Tanika time, but I'm sorry. I just can't do it.

I think I am still going...no...I AM still going. But I am only going to stay two nights instead of three, and come back on an early flight on Sunday (Clair's birthday).

I know she won't remember her 2nd birthday, but I don't want to miss it. I won't miss it. (I might be a little hungover on the plane, but having buzzed Mommy is better than having no Mommy on your birthday, right? I'm pretty sure I read that in a parenting handbook somewhere.)

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In other news, after fits and starts and long lapses, Lester and I FINALLY found a church we like!

We went to visit it Sunday and I really loved it. I laughed, I cried. The kids had a good time and BONUS! There were free bagels and coffee afterward! My kind of church!

We have to go back  this Sunday and test the waters again, but I have to say, I'm really excited about the prospect of having a church home again. I've really missed it. And I KNOW we need it. Lordhavemercy -- do we need it!

The church is 20 minutes away in Timonium, but that's better than the 40 minutes it took to get to the church I liked in Columbia. Also, when we daydream about moving and search the web for houses we like, a lot of them are in the Timonium area. So if we decide to join this church (or at least, regularly attend) that's more reason for us to consider moving to a neighborhood in Timonium (some day).


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And in still other news, Cary and Dean's first soccer game was hilarious! Here's a photo recap:

Dean was a soccer machine. Cary was less than enthused. And Clair declared herself a part of the game (or a fashionista) by wearing a boundary-marking cone as a hat.

Lester was really great wrangling the kids and keeping a modicum of order! He's sorta a natural at this. Who knew?!

And I'm proud of all my loves -- my athlete, my grass-sitter, my cone-wearer and Coach! You guys are all perfection in my eyes.