Shine bright like a diamond!

I'm home sick today and finally, finally, after sleeping most of the day, I have a little time to myself to put down in words the amazingness that was Girls' Weekend.

Some of you might recall I was less than enthusiastic about the trip in the very beginning. Not because I didn't very much want to see and catch up with this bright, hilarious, wonderful group of women, but because I worried about being away from my kids for three days and leaving Lester alone all that time with two 3-year-olds and a 2-year-old (can you imagine?)

But I am SO glad I went.

The obvious reasons need little explaining. I had three days of free time - truly free. No demands whatsoever from anyone. This was unspeakably glorious! I also ate amazing meals (it's NOLA, hello!) and drank delicious cocktails and then could sleep in the next morning. People without children have no idea the luxury of being able to wake up naturally after a night of healthy drankin'...
I got to laugh and talk with women I like and admire and missed. And I met C. Thomas Howell on the way home!!! What's not to love, right?

But the real boon of the weekend came entirely unexpectedly.

I anticipated all the laughter. I anticipated all the great conversation. I did not anticipate all the crying. Or all the encouragement. All the building-up. All the intense, but loving, scrutiny and accountability -- the kind that can only lead to self-improvement down the road. I had no idea all that was coming. Or how much I needed it.

But from the first moment we all sat down for a meal, there were confessions, tears and support (all before dessert). Apparently, before I arrived, the same thing had happened at dinner with another woman. And before I left New Orleans, it would happen again  -- and again. Each one of us had things we needed to say, to reveal or to lament -- about marriage and parenting, careers and friendship, love and ambition, transgressions and regrets, loneliness and self-doubt. And when one of us would venture out into the water of vulnerability, all the rest of us would swarm around her like bouys, arms outstretched. Sometimes to pull her in for a hug; many times to push her on to truth.

It was, in a word, DEEP.

I knew I'd missed having girlfriends around, but even I was stunned by how needy we all seemed for sister-love.

Back at home, we all marveled at how emotionally naked we'd gotten -- after not being in the same place all at the same time for more than 10 years.

One of my girls sent us this message afterward, which I've edited a bit, to protect identities.

Was talking to my good friend, XXXX, this morning. She just got back from a long girls' weekend of her own - a birthday celebration at a Miami spa. I think her group had six gals, all of whom are friends from high school.

Anyway, she mentioned that the weekend had been insanely intense: in-jokes, crying, liquor, sleep, laughing, confessions, etc. She said it felt like an exorcism or maybe a rebirth. That beyond the ties of love, husbands, kids and friendship, there was the specter of their shared mid-40s. And that, my friends, is a scary place to be.

That must be what we tapped into in New Orleans. That this time in a woman's life opens her up to much intense emotion and self-reflection. Because how else to explain how quickly we reached that amazing place where we showed ourselves to each other after so many years apart? It definitely could have gone another way, but by the time we all got to [the house in New Orleans], it was ON.

I'm turning 45 on Sunday, and can I tell you how excited I am about it?! And I wasn't, really, before our NOLA retreat. These past couple of years have been especially tiring and scary. I've been lower than I've ever been in my entire life ....But New Orleans brought me back to life in a surprising way. I can face my new life with renewed passion and energy.
 
She is so right, y'all! Reading that again, I get all goosebumpy. My life is not on hold (remember that post from just a few days before I left for my trip?) I just need to approach my life with renewed passion and energy!

Since coming back from NOLA, I started Sugar-Free February, determined not to let sugar continue its chokehold on me. I'm not saying I'll never eat another sugary thing, that's ridiculous. But I want to be in control of what I eat, not the other way around. My girls helped me to get to this point -- they made me KNOW that I can do it. They also encouraged me (as many of you have as well) to take the time to get to the gym or to yoga and believe that my children will be just fine for a few hours a week without me -- even if I work all day long. I'm mulling that one over, but I'm much closer to pulling the trigger on at least ONE night of yoga a week than I was before my trip.

And maybe most importantly, we have all started talking about writing a book together -- and have a conference call planned for tomorrow night to talk about what that book might be, what it might look like, what do we regular gals -- wives, mothers, friends, writers -- have to say that hasn't already been said a million times.

But we know that whatever it is, it will somehow tap into the unofficial theme we adopted over the weekend, a running inside joke about a comically-sung Rihanna tune that somehow turned into our mantra: Shine Bright Like a Diamond.

Because whatever we do, wherever life has taken us or will take us, we know we all have the ability, the capacity, the responsibility to shine bright in our respective worlds (whatever that means to us individually), like the diamonds we are.

Food!

Friends!

Faraway friends who crashed the weekend! (So glad she did!)

Fuel!!

The French Quarter!

And the Fountain Lounge, where a five-hour sweat lodge, over never-ending cocktails, went down. I will never forget this night. EPIC.

I highly encourage you all to take a girls' trip, if you haven't done one already. You'll be so glad you did.

Girls' trip!!

Tomorrow morning, I leave to go on my first post-kids girls' trip. Whoo-hoo!

Here's a photo to give a hint as to where I am going:

That's right, y'all! I am headed to NOLA!

I'm going with four amazing, talented, beautiful women who all worked at The Baltimore Sun when I was there.

All of us are still writing, though none at newspapers. Four of us are married, one is divorced. Four of us have children, but only one of us is a bit of a nervous wreck about leaving her kids for three days. Bet you can guess who that one is.

Nevertheless, I know it will be fine -- better than fine, actually. The kids will have a great time hanging out with their Dad, who has made lots of fun plans for them, and my sides are already prepping for the soreness I'm sure to have after all the laughing that will take place this weekend.

Also, Erin (who owns the house we're staying in) already has reservations for us at crazy-good restaurants, like this one on Saturday night. So my tastebuds (and waistline) are prepping for three days of non-stop phantasmagoria.

I am excited about catching up with my friend Candice, too, who lives in LaPlace - about 35 minutes outside New Orleans. (I met her at the Kansas City Star. She left to become a lawyer, and then a full-time SAHM. It's interesting to me how almost none of my journalist friends [save a few] stayed in the business. Hmmm.)

So this should be a great weekend of eating, drinking, talking, laughing and, mostly, feeding my soul.

I can't wait!

Friend-filled weekend

I know I said a few posts ago that as I approach 40, I wanted to make sure I got to see friends and loved ones -- both old and new -- more often.

I just didn't except to do that all in one weekend.

Friday night, my friend Andrea invited me to a party/fundraiser. I was tired (of course) and had nothing to wear, but Andrea is always supportive of what I do, so I wanted to support her. The shindig was at a fancy rented-out space in Harbor East, and there were drinks and music and VIP lounges and things I haven't seen in years! The thing I enjoyed the most was getting to laugh and talk and hang out with my journalist friends -- who put to bed the myth that journalists are frumpy, fashionless people.

Check out these hot girls! I stole this photo from Jeneba's Facebook page. So I can't explain what's going on here. But here we are, doing our best super model "make your upper arm look thinner" pose.

On Saturday, I was invited to the surprise 40th birthday cookout for a good friend of mine from high school. Juanita and I actually went to middle school together, can you believe that? But we solidified our friendship at Eleanor Roosevelt High School, where we joined a band of gals who were all in the science and technology program (Hahahaa! Me and science and tech. What was I thinking?)
I neglected to take even one photo of this mini high school reunion, so instead, I will have to post this horrible throwback of the six of us from some ERHS Homecoming dance. Please note the horrendous hair.

Nicole, April, Juanita, Carla B., Carla J, and me. I also stole this picture from someone's Facebook page. Someone who is not a friend of mine. Because obviously no friend of mine would EVER post this picture on Facebook.

Now that we've all stopped laughing, I need to point out that I really love the fact that I've stayed in touch (not as much as I'd like, but still in touch) with my best girls from high school, who have all grown into amazing women with great careers, beautiful families and fun and supportive personalities. It just points out to me that one of my absolute undeniable talents is picking friends. I am mediocre at a lot of things, but I kick ass at that.

Happy birthday, Juanita!

And then, right after leaving a cookout with some of my oldest friends, I hurried up the road to meet up and have drinks with some of my newest friends: Beth and Angel!

I really tried to fix the crazy eyes! But you get the picture - it's Beth, me and Angel, out having a ball. And apparently being possessed by the devil...

We met up at a fancy, fancy restaurant (Don Pablo's - ahem) and ate bad Mexican food, drank a couple dranky-dranks, got free sopapilla because our server and the service was so terrible, and laughed, dished and had the most frank and encouraging conversation I've had in months. Something about being Mom-bloggers connects us in a way I would never have predicted. And these two smart and funny women are a big reason I'm so glad I started blogging.

Angel and Beth hit it off famously and I would like to point out here again that this speaks to my ability to spot fabulous women from a mile away. Not only do I know who I'll get along with, but I can bring other awesome people together!

It just hit me! Knowing amazing women is my super power!

Anyway, it was a great friend-filled weekend, which ended on Sunday morning with a brunch date with my four best friends in the world: Lester, Clair, Dean and Cary.

(P.S. Shout-out to Lester for holding it down with all the kiddos while I was gallivanting the whole weekend with friends, old and new.)

Girlfriends are the greatest!

About two months ago, my friend Jen wrote an e-mail to a few new moms, asking if we could get together and talk about the many challenges of attempting to find a work-life-mommy-marriage balance. Over waffles and cocktails at a trendy Midtown restaurant, we determined that there is no such Holy Grail. And in fact, people should stop calling it a "balance," dangit! It's more like a work-life-mommy-marriage unbalance.

From there, the Unbalanced Mommy Group was born.

Today we met again, this time with babies in tow, because a number of us couldn't get away without the kiddos. Which was actually cool, because the babies got to play with (more like near) each other, and we got to eat creme brulee French toast (made sinfully delicious by Jen!) and kvetch.

Here's a pic of some of the babies who were literally EVERYWHERE during our brunch:




We decided we'll meet this way -- one time with the babies; the next time without -- for as long as it's convenient and necessary.

I, for one, hope that's a long, long time, because I honestly don't know where I'd be without my girlfriends. I have many, from all points throughout my life. Some are married; some divorced or still looking. Some have teenaged kids or kids close to Cary and Dean's age; some have none at all. Some are former journalists like me; others had the sense enough to get real jobs. (Hahaha! Just a joke for all the journos). Some I talk to just about every day; others I wish I could talk to far more often. Each one brings something different to my life. But they are all various shades of awesome.

I love my husband, my family and my kids. But I can say that I am blessed to also have really good friends, both old and new, who I also love.

So even if you're not an Unbalanced Mommy, I want to give props to you, dear friends. So here's to: Desiree, Neelofer, Candice, Lisa, Laurie, Su, Jill, Kelly, Andrea, Naita, Lynn, Stacey, Stephanie S., Stephanie D., Monica, Juanita, Carla, Angel, Theola, Mari, Jen, Jessica, Sumathi, Shreya, Erin, Erika, Olivia ... and many others!

You all support and love me in so many ways, and I'm grateful to God for each one of you!

Since this is Show me the Mommy Sunday, here are pictures the incomparable Jen McMenamin took during our Unbalanced Mommies group:

I have no idea why Cary was fussing here; but Dean is enthralled with the balloons Stacey brought for the kids.


This is Dean's usual look; I love that Jen caught it.

Cary is still looking distressed, but at least you can see here what beautiful eyes he has. And LOOK at my Deanie's cute little smile. Don't you just want to eat him?!