I want my daughter to be sweet, but good grief!

So it's come to this.

Tuesday, I go in to the perinatologist to learn how to inject myself with insulin.

I resisted as long as I could, but my sugars just kept creeping up. And the new meds worked a little too well, making my blood sugar dip horribly low -- particularly in the middle of the night.

The last THREE nights I've had to bound out of bed twice to go down to the kitchen to stuff myself with cereal and sausage or frozen waffles and orange juice -- just to stop the shakes. This usually is around 12 or 1 and then again around 3 or 4. Waking up every three hours to feed?? Ridiculous -- my baby's not even here yet!!

All that up-and-down with my sugars has totally wiped me out. I feel like crap a lot of the time, and it's just no fun at all. I think I could suffer through it (maybe) if it was helping keep the blood sugars in check. But like I said, my sugars just continue getting higher and higher.

So insulin it is.

I'm nervous about it, because I still think in the back of my head that my body will get used to the extra help and then continue needing it even after I've delivered Sweet Miss Curve Ball.
And I also really don't relish the idea of excusing myself from meetings to go stick myself with needles in public bathrooms.

But, I must do what is best for my baby -- and what is best for me. So I will.

So just to make myself feel better, I am having some kind of warm, chocolatey, delicious thing this weekend! Sugars be damned! Heck, I might just splurge all weekend!

(Kelly, if you're reading this: Shut IT!) :-)

Update on my brother .. and Dean

First off, since this is primarily a blog about my life with my amazing baby boys, I thought I'd share that this morning, Dean CRAWLED UP HALF THE FLIGHT OF STAIRS!

Lord have mercy. I almost lost it.

Dean has gotten very, very clingy with me lately. He wants only to be with me all day long. I can't even bend down to pick something up when I'm holding him because he thinks I'm putting him down and he goes berserk!

This weekend was really hard for him, because I was at the hospital much of the day. Though he was with Lester (who he LOVES), there were a lot of new people around and upsetting of schedules, etc., so he was not happy.

So today, when I was upstairs too long getting ready for work, I suppose he decided to take matters into his own hands and climb up to get me.

Nothing like determination to propel a child to master a new skill, huh?

Anyway, we have to step up the gate game - again. Can't have him falling backwards down the stairs. Gracious. That's all I need.

And here's the update on my brother, as sent to friends and family by e-mail. Thanks to all of you who have posted your thoughts and prayers for Rashad. I really, really appreciate it.

All,

I thought I'd send a quick update before I leave work to head down to the hospital to see Rashad.

The last two days have been a series of ups and downs.

Saturday night, after we'd all turned in for the night (except Cortney, his girlfriend, who's been sleeping in the hospital waiting room every night since Tuesday), nurses turned off Rashad's sedation. Doctors expected him to stay out of it for a considerable amount of time just because of the magnitude of his injuries and the sheer volume of drugs he's been on. But early, early Sunday morning, Rashad surprised them all by attempting to open an eye!! Seeing this, the nurse on duty called his name and he tried to turn his head!

Hallelujah!!!

When we heard this news, you cannot imagine the jumping, shouting, crying and praising the Lord that ensued! We all got dressed and went to the hospital to see him, but by then, the doctors had re-sedated him, because apparently just that small amount of struggling to come to was enough to send his ICP levels soaring. Doctors said he wasn't ready just yet to be aware and alert. Still, we were heartened.

As the day progressed, however, although Rashad's ICP levels stayed good, his CPP -- a different number that indicates blood flow to the brain -- began to dip. And doctors said tests were showing he was having trouble oxygenating his blood. Further tests showed fluid in his lungs, and possible pneumonia. Last I checked, they were trying to find a way to more deeply drain his lungs.

Today, we were told the doctors were going to try to do a CT scan on Rashad's brain. In and of itself, this shows improvement, because he was unable to tolerate lying flat for a long enough period of time to do such a scan even a few days ago. But Dad says his ICP levels -- for some reason -- have been trending high today (in the low 20s), so I'm not sure if they were able to do the scan after all. I'll find out more later when I get to the hospital.

We are anxious for the results of the CT scan, because doctors will be able to tell us by what percentage the swelling has gone down, and also if they can readily see any damaged areas. Right now, we still have no idea what is going on in there.

But we are all just praying and being patient for Rashad to be ready for all this testing. And we are trusting that each day may bring some good and possibly some not-so-good news, but that at the end of this road, our brother will be back to us healthy and strong.

As my Dad, the mathematician, said today: Three steps forward and two steps back is still a net gain.

Thank you again to all of you who have stepped up in such a big way to share your love and support. So many of you have called, sent notes, cards, e-mail and Facebook messages, stopped by the hospital, offered to pray, babysit or run errands, etc., I feel buoyed just by your very goodness. Special thanks to The Hatcher Group for the gang of food sent to my Mom and Dad's, and to Jessica and Holly for running to the grocery store for Lester and me. And special, special thanks to all of you who have and are continuing to pray for Rashad. I really will never be able to thank you enough.

More later, if I can.

Dean is making progress!

Dean crawled a little more today. He's still not proficient, but for someone who really just started yesterday, I'd say he's pretty good!

Pretty soon, he'll be keeping up with Cary, whose army crawl is getting faster and faster by the day.

I went today, in fact, to look at safety gates for the doorways and stairs and decided that they're just too expensive. Not to mention the fact that I couldn't tell which one I really needed, and how much work it would take to assemble it and get it operational. I wonder if any parents have made do during the crawling/cruising stage without gates? Can I wait (and just use the laundry basket) until they're truly toddling? And which ones should I buy? Is it safe to get them from a Craig's List or some such?

Anyone have tips?

Tomorrow, my goal is to get video of Dean crawling. Wish me luck!

Edited 2/13/11 to include VIDEO of Dean crawling! :-)

We are unsuccessful when it comes to catching mice...

...But one of our extra-large glue traps, hidden away under the dining room armoire, was successful in catching one Cary Davis this morning.

ACK!

We had to pull his little body off -- with force (that glue is serious!) -- and he cried and seemed afraid, poor little not-a-mouse! :-(

We washed him good, but I won't have peace today until I know he's toxic-glue free.

Here's what we have to do to keep Cary contained. Wonder how long this will last!


Note to Davis parents: BABYPROOF the house, pronto!!