Must. Create. Synapses.

We've been cooped up in the house too long.

First of all, it's been a really, really cold winter, and we have had to deal with a lot of sickness, which kept us housebound even on rare days when the temperature wasn't on Arctic blast.

Secondly, it's really quite an ordeal to take two infants out of the house to do anything other than go visit family, and even that requires a lot of planning and packing.

So, while all my friends who just had babies have been running around at Mommy groups, taking their kids to parks and Zumba classes and restaurants (what are those again?) and storytime and all kinds of other fun places, honestly, we've really just been too exhausted and intimidated by the whole complicated process to go anywhere.

So, my boys stay here.

Which bums me out, because I really want them to get out and see things. I know from past journalism experience that a lot of what separates kids who do well in school from kids who don't is "exposure." From birth to age 3, the variety of things that kids are exposed to helps create little synapses in the brain that -- if they don't get those experiences -- will never, ever form.

Knowing this freaks. me. out. (This is why a little bit of knowledge is never a good thing).

So, being the anxiety-ridden first-time Mom that I am, I am overcompensating, now that I know the weather is about to start getting warm.

This Monday (President's Day), we're going to Port Discovery, a children's museum in Baltimore with a new exhibit for infants and toddlers. We purchased an annual zoo membership from Groupon or Living Social (can't remember which). I sent e-mail inquiries today to administrators at our local Y, to ask about swim classes for infants, and also to My Gym, to see about tumbling classes for them. (I thought hard about the aquarium membership, but I don't think we can afford that right now, especially since I think they'll appreciate it more when they're a tad older. Maybe 1 year old? 18months? I dunno. Do they need the "dolphin" synapse right now? Who's to say? This is way too stressful for me. Ugh!)

I realize they are only 9 months old. I realize they are perfectly happy right now to crawl around our playroom, chewing on toys, books, lint (a Cary favorite), stray thumb tacks (another Cary favorite), blankets and cable cords (Dean favorites). But I am worried about their synapses, people.

Must. Create. Synapses! Must. Create. Synapses!

I know this must sound crazy, and I will be the first to admit that I REALLY don't want to be one of those parents who over-schedules kids and makes them, her husband and herself stressed out. But, honestly, I don't know how to stop myself. Perhaps I never developed the "self-control" synapse as an infant.

I blame my parents for this. :-)

We are unsuccessful when it comes to catching mice...

...But one of our extra-large glue traps, hidden away under the dining room armoire, was successful in catching one Cary Davis this morning.

ACK!

We had to pull his little body off -- with force (that glue is serious!) -- and he cried and seemed afraid, poor little not-a-mouse! :-(

We washed him good, but I won't have peace today until I know he's toxic-glue free.

Here's what we have to do to keep Cary contained. Wonder how long this will last!


Note to Davis parents: BABYPROOF the house, pronto!!

How sweet it is

During the throes of the newborn and early-infant stage of Cary and Dean's life, I wish someone could have shown me a crystal ball image of what life would be like for us at this point. As they approach 9-months, these two little babies have become the sweetest things ever!

Cary squeals -- literally squeals -- when he's excited. When we come in a room, he squeals. When we tickle his slender frame, he squeals. When we nuzzle in and kiss his sweet-smelling neck, he squeals. Sometimes, when he's just plodding across the room on his belly and forearms, he'll stop, inexplicably and squeal. It's like he's just delighted to be in motion, on his way somewhere, no matter if the "somewhere" is just under a dining room chair. He is adorable and hysterical. His giggles are like milk chocolate drops, dipped in caramel sauce.

And Dean...sweet, sweet Deanie. He is so lovable and loving, it's as darling as can be. He loves to hug and snuggle us; he even reaches for Cary and tries to love him up!! Awww, those early signs of brotherly love melt my heart! I think I've already mentioned how he "kisses" us, by leaning in and planting a wet open mouth on your cheek or chin or forehead or mouth. (When he kisses Cary, it's usually the back of his head, for some reason.) He loves to be close, and Lester loves how satisfying his weight feels when he sits Dean on his lap, or when he's lying on Lester's chest. And I love how he gazes at me, like I'm a Hollywood beauty queen and he's in love! Dean's love makes me feel heady and warm. His affection is like manna from Heaven.

If only I could have seen these days when I was up every three hours, and unsure of myself, wondering how I could make it through another day with not one but two screaming creatures, I think I would have been a much less anxious Mommy. Love makes everything all worth it.

Never, ever declare STTN after just one day of STTN

You'd think I'd know this by now. It's like saying, "Thank goodness it hasn't rained yet," and then the sky opens up. Or, "My this traffic is going so smoothly for 4:30 p.m. on Friday," and then there's a 5-mile back-up.
The same is true for prematurely declaring that your 8-month-old twin boys who had once been wonderful sleepers, but were derailed by illnesses and unavoidable developmental stuff, were now sleeping through the night (STTN). As soon as I did that yesterday, both Cary and Dean woke up not once but twice each last night! Twice. EACH. And despite our desire to let them "work it out" (which we like better than "cry it out"), I totally caved after an hour and gave them both bottles around 3 a.m.
Bad, bad Mommy!!
We'd changed their diapers and their little jammies because both were super-wet and that didn't calm them. I rocked Dean; Lester patted Cary's little back. Nothing was working. I was desperate.
And then, to make matters worse, I kept hearing the sitter's voice in my head as she told me that neither boy had much interest in formula all day yesterday. So my Mommy-anxiety made me think that perhaps they were hungry. Poor little wriggly worms! Crying of starvation!! Wasting away in their cribs! Stomach acid churning, eating mercilessly at their tiny tummies!
Now you see why I had to do it! I was murdering my children!
(Sidenote: My cousin, Nicole, who has a gorgeous 5-year-old daughter, told me long ago that she was not prepared for the sheer anxiety that parenting brought. I had no idea how bad it could be until Cary and Dean came along. In fact, most days, I go back and forth between anxiety and guilt -- and on really bad days, they both team up against me. Nicole says this does not get better as they get older. Seeing as how she was right the first time, I'm inclined to believe her.)

Anyway, I'll never know if they really were hungry, or if I just gave them another hash mark in the "Two crying babies at 3 a.m. = WIN; sleepy and anxious Mommy = LOSE" column.
But at the end of the day (literally), Mommies have to do what Mommies have to do.
Because this is not a sprint, folks, but a long, long cross-country marathon. And in the end, Mommies who love, love, love their babies always win.

Another sidenote: Lest you think my babies are non-STTN tyrants, I need to report that this morning, after they were changed and fed, I put Cary in Dean's crib with a bunch of toys and the two of them played together!! Beautifully! It was so awesome, I couldn't believe it. Lester was able to go out and shovel our front walk and cars, and I was able to shower, make breakfast, and get dressed for work -- all while they played. Together! This is my consolation prize for last night, I know it. And it's a pretty darn good one, if you ask me!

Here they are in the crib together!