Hair Woes

Today's confession:

I am reading black hair care blogs because I do not know how to do my own child's hair.
This is a problem because, if you haven't noticed, I am black.
Ahem.
Isn't that sad? I am having to troll the Internets for advice about what to do with my sweetie's hair. Sad, sad and pitiful.

In my defense, there are a couple reasons why:

My hair is quite different than "normal" black hair (if there is such a thing); it's a little less coarse and curls into loose-ish waves when wet. Dean's hair, like his Dad's, is more "normal black" (if there is such a thing), so I'm out of my element a little bit, as I'm used to dealing with my own hair-type, and, truthfully, only as a full-grown adult learned what products and styling methods work best for my own hair.

And since I knew I was having boys, I thought I could avoid the hair-care problem altogether. So I pretty much ignored their hair for months.

But Dean's hair requires actual "doing," and is much drier than my hair. So it's taken me all this time (plus some chiding from my sister Tahira, who takes much better care of her hair than I do) to realize that I have not been doing him any services by 1) washing his hair every night 2) not really putting any oil in his hair 3) not brushing his hair every day.

See Exhibit A (pre-haircut) of evidence of his dry, crazy hair:


Doesn't he look like he is saying, "Mommy, why do you have me out in public with my hair looking like this? Don't you know I need some MOISTURE in my hair? And have you heard of a thing called a BRUSH?"

Who knew??
I am a terrible mother.
But I am determined to do better.

Thus - searching the Internets.

One problem I'm having during my search is that most "traditional" black hair care products are not natural, and have a lot of crap in 'em that I don't want to put on my baby's head.

And when I search for "natural" hair care products and tips, I find a lot of advice for girls, not boys. I guess that's to be expected, but it's clear (I've come to learn) that my son's hair needs attention -- maybe not for styling, but definitely for general care. I can't believe that other parents of black boys aren't in need of more information to help in this area. Where are the websites for boys? Could it be just me who is clueless? Maybe everyone else just knows what to do already. I dunno.

Anyway, I am determined to do better by my little baby, especially now that we've gotten his hair cut and you can really see how dry his little scalp is. Poor pumpkin! Mommy's gonna do better!! You just wait.

Meanwhile, I wonder if I should be doing anything differently with Cary's hair -- which is different than Dean's and Dad's, but not quite like mine either (since he's a boy). Perhaps I should stop ignoring his hair, too?

Sigh. One day I'll figure it out, I suppose. By then, pray my poor children haven't gone bald.