Happy birthday, Kadija!

Yesterday was my sister Kadija's 33rd birthday.

Happy birthday, Kiz. I love you!

I was 8 when she was born, and I'd been a very happy only child, content to suck up all my parents' attention and love.

But I fell in love with her from the minute she came home from the hospital. She was crazy and cheeky and full of mischief. She gave my parents fits -- and kept us all in stitches.

My other three siblings came in rapid succession after her, and they were like a band of thieves, running together, keeping each other's secrets, the four of them against everyone else. I was so much older, "everyone else" even included me.

But somehow, Kadija and I maintained a special bond. Aside from a love of books, we are absolutely nothing alike. Tahira and I often joke that we think the two of us must have been adopted, because the other three siblings are so utterly and fundamentally different (I am patting myself on the back for my diplomacy with that statement). Despite our oil and water ways, Kadija and I have a closeness -- one of those inexplicable ones that isn't measured by how much we talk on the phone (not much), how much we hang out together (hardly ever), or how much we have in common (not a darn thing).

Mostly, it comes from the fact that I don't agree with many of her choices -- but I try very hard not to judge her. I give her my opinion, oh yes I do, but I love her unconditionally and I would do anything for her -- and she knows it. Similarly, Kadija thinks I'm a bit of a square, with a lame-o life and rigid, Puritan views. And yet, I know this will sound completely contrary, but she is the least judgmental person I know. She accepts me and loves me and is the very definition of what a good friend should be. She is loyal to a fault. Her heart is huge.

Here's a story I'll always remember:

I came home from Kansas City for a holiday vacation. I was still reeling from a break-up from nearly  a YEAR before. I'm not sure where we were going, but the two of us were in the backseat of my parents' car, and I stared glumly out the window. She asked me what was wrong and I shared with her that I had been depressed for almost a year because of this break-up, and the fact that I couldn't shake the depression was making me more depressed.

Kadija is not a mushy person, not in the least. When things are uncomfortable, she often turns to humor. My 18-year-old sister took my hand and said to me, "I've been depressed my whole life."

We laughed, and she held my hand the whole ride -- this girl who eschews affection. And I felt comforted, safe, and understood.

Her comment was funny, but also sad, because I knew it was true. She lives a hard life, my sister does. And now her kids do, too. Much of it is of her own doing, but it's still hard to watch. I know that most of her bad decisions have at their roots profound unhappiness, self-esteem issues and unchecked depression. I wish I could change those things for her. I know that I can't.

She is and always will be my march-to-the-beat-of-her-own-drum, tell it like it is, crack us up, worry us to death, genuine and sincere, devil-may-care sister. She's my very first sibling -- the first person I learned how to unconditionally love.

No matter how old we get, or how our roads diverge, in my heart, the two of us are always holding hands, staring out of the car windows, as life whooshes too quickly by.

41 revolutions around the sun! (Or something like that.)

Wait. Is that right? You know I'm no good at math. If I turned 41 yesterday (which I did), does that mean I've now gone around the sun 40 times? 41 times? Or 42 times?

Is this a ridiculous question? Whatever.

Happy birthday to me!

Yesterday, I planned to go into work and sit in my air-conditioned office, occasionally stopping over to Facebook to "like" all my Happy Birthday posts, and then go out to lunch with my co-workers, who had planned a trip out for Indian buffet.

But Michelle called in sick (she'd been feeling poorly all week) and so I ended up staying home with Cary, Dean and Clair, whose idea of celebrating my birthday involves me being at their beck and call and refereeing fights and celebrating THEM. The prospect of being stuck in the house all day with those three nuts is bad enough on a regular day (the fighting, the noise, the messes, the whining! Lawd!) but on my birthday, it just seemed completely untenable.

So I packed us some brown bag lunches and hustled on out to the B&O Railroad Museum, where we have a membership, for a free day out and about in the sun!

Faithful readers of this blog will know that those "meh" looks on Cary and Dean's faces mean, "Holy cannoli! It's the CONDUCTOR! I'm bursting with excitement!"

Later on, we went to pick up Cary's glasses, which were finally ready. (More about that in a later post.)

These are his new glasses! Isn't he the CUTEST?

I ordered this book to help prepare him for glasses -- and because that little boy looks like Cary to me. It cracks me up!

And my Dad drove all the way from his side of the world -- over an hour -- just to bring me a plant, and pose for pictures with Cary, to show him that all the "good-looking fellas have glasses."

My Dad always makes me feel so special!

Lester took me and the whole family out to dinner at Gertrude's, which is at the Baltimore Museum of Art. It was the kids' first visit to a "white tablecloth" restaurant. At first, it looked like we were headed for disaster. Clair was whining like crazy and wouldn't sit in her chair. The boys were whining like crazy and playing with the knives on the table. People were giving us the judgy eyes. But we ordered their food first, so it came pretty quickly, and after they got a little food in their bellies, things calmed down and we ended up having a really nice meal. Dean kept trying to wave down the waiter (we stopped him this time) and when they brought my dessert, he blew out my candle (of course); Clair ate a good fourth of my $23 crab cake and Cary sat contentedly eating his food and fancy donuts and looking around at everyone and everything like, "Well would you look at that?"

I didn't take any pictures, because the kid-wrangling was a full-time job. But we didn't get kicked out - so #winning.

Earlier that morning, the kids came in to my bedroom singing "Happy Birthday" and presenting me with a homemade card and small gifts (a heavy-duty lobster cracker, because the one I had was garbage, and a new fluffy pillow because my old cheap one was flat and giving me neck-aches).

And last week, just because I am the luckiest girl in the world, Lester set up a whole surprise date night where he:

Sent a car to pick me up from work (thanks, Uber!)

Selfie on the way to the restaurant! I felt like a movie star!

Met me at the Thames Street Oyster House, a FABULOUS seafood restaurant in Fells Point that I highly recommend if you are ever in Baltimore. He was at the bar when I got there, looking dapper, with a glass of sangria ordered for me.

It's not every day a tall, handsome man (my natty beau - get it?) meets you at a restaurant bar with a drink at the ready.

This was the view from our table!

I devoured this lobster roll, which was so damn good, I can't EVEN. But, guess what? I left the fries on the plate! Yay for restraint!

See? No lobster roll. Plate full of fries.

Because I was saving room for this bread pudding with warm caramel sauce. Oh. Em. Gee. Soooo good!

Took me out to a play at the Hippodrome Theater. The show was hilarious.

I ran into my gynecologist at the theater, who was out with his wife. #Awkward.

And then, whisked me off to a room at the Four Seasons (!!), which we got through a hook-up from our friend Antwyne (thanks Antwyne and Mari!), where we stayed the night (thanks to my sister Tahira who watched all the children for us!)

Tahira made a pizza with the kids! They loved it.

Look at  Matty giving Clair a kiss because he LOVES her so much. And check out Clair looking so over it, because he ANNOYS her so much. Poor sweet Matty. One day, she's gonna be your best friend, Matt Pat. Just wait.

And to top it all off -- my awesome co-workers re-scheduled my Indian buffet lunch for today! And invited Stacey to come back and eat with us!

Soooo, basically BEST BIRTHDAY EVER. (As usual!)

I'm so blessed and lucky and happy as a clam. I hope the next 41 (40? 42?) rotations around the sun are just as perfect!

Three cheers for Lester! (And other family Davis tidbits)

My friend David introduced me to a video that reminds me so much of the kind of man I married. I can't stop watching this super-cute video. I love it that I married a man who I know, without a doubt, would get out there and do this with our own little spirited girl one day.

https://weallsupport.com/this-is-an-awesome-dad/

As it happens, today is Lester's birthday! So let's hear it for all the good men and great Dads out there like him. Hip-hip-hooray! Hip-hip-hooray! Hip-hip-HOORAY!

Now...let's get a little bit rowdy! R-O-W-D-Y! :-)

Happy birthday, Les!I've got big plans for us this weekend!

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In other news, Clair and I went to Atlanta Friday through Monday. We had a great time visiting my dear friend Neelofer, her husband Anthony and their beautiful, sweet-as-can-be kids.

Suraya, Kadin and Clair at the Atlanta Zoo.

Clair looking at the flamingos, being reminded of Baltimore!

It was so great to sit up until the wee hours with Neelofer, eating chocolate chip cookies and talking about everything under the sun. We laughed, we cried, we were bleary-eyed in the morning. It was perfect.

Clair did amazingly well on the plane! She was busy, of course, up and down on my lap, peeking at the people in front of us and behind us, making a mess of snacks everywhere and playing with every toy I brought with us. But there were no meltdowns or crying jags. Everyone around us thought she was hilarious.

She was incredibly clingy though, once we were on land and hanging out with Neelofer and her family. She wouldn't let anyone hold her and swatted at the kids when they tried to come near her. She did show some moments of sweetness, like when Suraya wanted to hold her hand at breakfast.

Look how sweet they are!

But for the most part, she was attached to me at the hip and very possessive of her personal space and anything she thought belonged to her (even things that belonged to them.) I love my baby girl very much, but I will be so glad when she grows out of that phase. Sheesh.

###

My Deanie got a little recognition card yesterday from the head of the pre-school. It said, Dean is a team player!" and on the back, Miss Katie hand-wrote:"Thank you for sharing trains with your friends!" He was so ridiculously proud of that card, he wanted to carry it with him (back) to school, in his little sweatshirt pocket. So I let him. You should have seen his happy little face.

But this, unexpectedly, made Cary upset. HE wanted a card from Miss Katie, too. Nothing I offered him would placate him. I tried to explain that Dean earned his card by being a good friend and sharer. Cary was inconsolable. In order to get us out the door and to school on time, I told him I would talk to Miss Katie and ask her to give him a card.

So when I saw her this morning in the drop-off line, I did just that. I told her how much Dean loved the card but that Cary was upset that he didn't get one. She explained that Dean really went above and beyond yesterday, happily and sweetly sharing his toys with a classmate who wanted to play with them. She and Miss Michelle were both so impressed, she felt like she really wanted to recognize Dean. But she said she understood what I was saying and that she'd make an effort to spot Cary doing something good and give him a card today. It was a pleasant and sorta funny conversation, and on my way back to my car, I stopped and told Cary I talked to Miss Katie -- he was so happy! Dean was happy. And I was happy! Yay, right?

Not so much. Now, I have meddler's remorse. I thought I was doing the right thing. But now I feel bad that I did that. That was like a Supreme Helicopter Parent move, wasn't it? Like, textbook.

Here's the thing that is really ironic. I prefaced my whole chat with Miss Katie by saying, "I'm really not one of those parents who think that kids should get recognition for nothing!" And then I basically said, in so many words, "Umm, but could you give my kid something for nothing?"

Ugh!

I am kicking myself! At least Miss Katie said she would wait until she actually saw him doing something worth recognizing before giving him a card. That elevates this story from being completely pathetic to being only somewhat pathetic.

Note to self: Get it together. girl. Don't be one of "those" parents!

Tastes like chicken (and also, why I can never go out at night again)

Overheard at the Davis house at dinner, trying out a new (to-the-kids) food:

Dean: Mommy, I don't like lamb.
Me: How do you know? You haven't tasted it.
Dean: I did taste it.
Me: Really? What's it taste like then?
Dean: (Thinking)...Chicken.

(That kid cracks me up.)

And then later on before bed:

Cary: Mommy, when kids go to sleep, do parents leave?
Me: No. We just go to bed.
Cary: You don't drive away?
Me: No, honey. We're too tired. We just go straight to bed.
Cary: OK, Mommy. Don't leave!

And...now you know why I can never go on a date with my husband and leave the sleeping kids with a babysitter.

P.S. Happy, happy, happy birthday to my Dad! He turns 61 today. (Such a young man!)

As proof that I have always been a Daddy's girl, here is a poem I wrote for my Dad when I was a teenager. I can't remember how old, but this was clearly during those tumultuous years when I was aching for more freedom and he was shutting. it. down. We fought a lot then -- but you can tell from this poem (unearthed somehow by my sister last month) that I very much missed him.

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("Dumb Company" was the name of my imaginary friend when I was a little girl Yes, I had an imaginary friend. And he was "dumb," not because he was stupid, but because he couldn't talk. Duh!)

Now that I'm a busy parent, I hardly ever get a chance to talk to Dad anymore (we used to talk every day) and I still miss him.

My Dad will always be so big...so big...in my heart.

Happy Birthday, Lester!

Happy Birthday to this guy:

The best friend, best father, best-looking-advertisement-for-a-well-tailored-suit, best decision I ever made! 

  
I won't say how old he is, but let's just say that the term "Grown 'n Sexy" officially applies to him now (although it's actually applied to him for years).

This morning, Cary and Dean serenaded him with "Happy Birthday to Daddy," standing in the bathroom in their footie pajamas. It was totally adorable and I'm pretty sure it's the best present he could have gotten!

(I say this because we're broke, so there aren't actually any REAL presents. Hopefully, he'll read this blog and be guilt-tripped into feeling immensely grateful for off-key toddler bathroom singing.)

:-)

Happy Birthday, L-Diddy! I love you!

Happy Birthday to me!

I'm 39 today!

Because I am an idiot, I decided to come to work.
And on the news this morning they reminded me how old I am by noting that E.T. came out 30 years ago today. Thirty years ago. Thirty. I remember going to see that movie with my Dad, and he cried at the end, but pretended he didn't when we asked him about it. To this day, he swears he didn't cry at E.T. But he totally did. 

I digress. Back to moi!

I may be old and at work, but at least my boys came in the room this morning and both said, "Appy Boithday!" (and then Cary said, "Appy Boithday, Baby Clair!" to his sister, too. Share the love!) Clair was all smiles this morning, and adorably played with her toes while I got ready for work.

And Lester and I went out Saturday night on a surprise birthday date! We had wine and three courses, including a crab and artichoke phyllo thingy that I gobbled in .7 seconds, it was so good. And bouillabaisse! Yum!

And he really surprised me by finding two really hard-to-find CDs I've been looking for, and burning them on to one disc, so I can have them forever! Lester is awesome! I can't say it enough.

Today, I heard from my Mom, her two sisters and my Nana all before I left the house.

I played "Sunday Morning" by Maroon 5 on repeat like six times on my way into work, with the windows rolled down and the volume probably way too high. (That song makes me so happy!)

Speaking of Sunday morning, AUNT FLO came in the wee hours of Sunday morning! So I can quit worrying about that, and start the birth control business. Whew!

My friend Stacey just came in and brought me homemade chocolate-chip cookies! Thanks, Stacey!

And Mother Nature has given me a beautiful day, sunny and warm and bright-bue-skied.


So all in all, it is already a lovely day, and it's only 9:30 a.m.

Happy birthday to me!!

Happy 2nd Birthday, Dean and Cary!

Already, the boring birthday I forgot to plan is going fabulously!!

First off, we let the boys watch TV this morning, and they thought this was the BEST THING EVER! Yo Gabba Gabba singing about birthdays and sharing made them giddy!  I probably could've stopped at this as their birthday present and they would've been happy.

But there was more...

We came downstairs and found out that Cookie Monster and Elmo came to see them for their birthday!!
Party with Cary and Dean!! Whoo-hooo!

The boys were so excited about their balloons and party hats and presents, they almost didn't want to go down to the playroom to see their big present! But we convinced them to go. And boy were they glad they did!

After playing with their new kitchen and pretend food, Dean and Cary NOW didn't want to go back upstairs to see their balloons and presents and party hats. But we convinced them to go. And boy were they glad they did!

New pails and shovels!

Presents to open!

NEW BOOKS!!

Birthday beads and birthday blowers! Books, pails and shovels, oh my!

Then it was time for birthday breakfast: Waffles, their favorite. With syrup!

Then we read and played, and headed outside, where Michelle gave them their new lawnmowers!! They LOVED these!

Picture them running around going, "brrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmm. brrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmm!"

Michelle also bought them these! Awww!

After lunch and naps, we're going to the playground for outdoor birthday fun, and when Lester gets home from work, after dinner, we'll have ice cream, in their very own bowls, and let them blow out candles.

I'll post pictures of all that later. But suffice it to say,  it's 10 a.m. and we are already having a 2nd birthday blast! Hooray!!