Once upon a time, when I'd drive past the lottery sign on the highway, I'd daydream about winning the Megamillions and buying homes for all my family and Lester's, setting up college funds for my nieces and nephews, giving money to my church and my alma mater, and then living it up on international jaunts with Lester for years to come.
Today, when I drove past the sign, I daydreamed instead about having enough money to go part-time, so that I could spend more time with my babies.
I imagined going to a 3-day workweek, and spending Mondays and Fridays (or some combination) visiting fun places, and reading books, going to parks and exploring with them. Singing songs and exposing them to new foods. Hanging out at bookstores, eating muffins and hot chocolate. Doing projects, like making a rain barrel or a composting bin. Being able to go on field trips with them, or have lunch at school with them. Having them be able to say I was there for them -- really there -- during their childhood years.
I also envisioned a beautiful new home with lots of room for them to run and play (and a friendly dog) and me being able to pay Michelle what she's really worth.
Of course, I'd still help out our families, and travel the world with my best friend and love. But we'd have to do shorter trips than I once imagined, because I know now that I'd miss my babies too much if we stayed away too long.
As it is, it's getting harder and harder to be away from them. I miss them so much during the day. And they're getting to be so much fun! I love watching them grow and learn; I love helping them grow and learn. It sucks when I can only be a participant in that process for a couple hours a day.
But, until Lester or I hits the lottery, this is our reality. And, really, it's not that bad. We're happy, all of us. And we're very,very blessed. So I'm grateful for whatever time I get with them. After all, I hit the lottery big time the day those little babies were born.
3 comments:
I suck because I've had Fridays off since July and NOT ONCE have I used them to spend time with the kids. I use them to get crap done so that our entire family can hang out on the weekends together without the constant treadmill of Target, grocery, errands with the kids.
Wait... NOT TRUE. I've taken them to the doctor and dentist on a Friday! ha!
And I say, DREAM BIG. I wrote down that I wanted a big house with two offices and enough space to entertain during Mondo and it came true through a series of events that we never could have planned.
Yes, well, getting all the crap done on Fridays is essentially the same thing, because now you are free to do all the fun stuff with the family on the weekends, and not have to play "Pass the Baby Buck" like we do: "Hey, if you watch them in the mornings so I can run to the grocery store, I'll watch them this afternoon so you can go to the cleaners and the barber shop..." etc. etc.
Maddening!
And ...you know what? I WILL dream big. Thanks so much for the encouragement!
I absolutely could have written your post! I really love where I work and I like working, but I sure do wish I could cut back on the hours. But I can't, and I don't think it's worth giving up my job. So we do the best we can. I have the feeling that if I stayed home full time, I wouldn't make the most of that time--a lot of that time would be spent on cleaning and errands and trying to steal time to get online. Instead, my reality is that errands are "family" time, and my house just doesn't get cleaned all that often, and thank God I can get online during my work day! LOL. Hang in there!
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