Update

I just sent this email to friends and family and thought it would be good to re-post here. This way I'll always have it, to refer to later, when my brother wakes up.
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Friends and family,

I have been getting so many requests for updates about my brother, I am truly overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and concern. Your friendship has never meant more to me than it does right now.

I wish I could muster the energy to respond to all of you individually, but truthfully, by the end of these excruciatingly long days, I really just want to crawl into bed and try -- usually fruitlessly -- to get some sleep.

So I thought it would be easier to just e-mail you a quick update, and hope that this will suffice until we can talk or see one another. I hope you don't find this impersonal. Please know I have gotten all your kind words and offerings of prayers and help, and I have been immensely grateful for each and every one.
My entire family is grateful.

So here's what we know now (which isn't much, unfortunately):

Rashad is stable, but still in critical condition, unconscious, and very, very sick.
He has severe swelling of the brain, which the team of neurosurgeons assigned to his case are trying to keep to a minimum with a bevy of medications they adjust several times a day.
Because of the swelling, we have no idea if he has any significant brain activity. We know he must have some, because his pupils dilate in response to light. And also, when his body is tussled or moved around, the swelling increases, indicating that stimulation causes some reaction in the brain. Other than that, he has not moved, spoken or otherwise.
The swelling is expected to peak anywhere from 3 to 5 days after the date of the injury, which was Tuesday. After the peak, they expect the swelling to level off, or in the best case, go down some. Once that happens, the doctors will be able to see better what kind of brain activity he has.
So, we're in a torturous game of wait-and-see.
The whole family has rallied together and gathered at the hospital to sit by his bedside and pray or talk to him (quietly). We can't really touch him, because the doctors said even that is too much stimulation,and that restriction is hard. But hopefully, that will change at some point.
They're keeping Rashad heavily sedated and in a paralytic state, and have even lowered his body temperature to 94 degrees, all in an effort to keep his brain from having to work too hard to do anything at all. A machine even is breathing for him.
Even with all that help, Rashad's intercranial pressure (ICP) continues to spike from time to time. If the doctors aren't satisfied by tomorrow that his body is able to keep the brain pressure at an acceptable level, they have told my parents that they'll have to put Rashad into a medically-induced coma.
I honestly don't know really what that means; how it's different, for example, from the unconscious state he's already in.

In the meantime, other doctors and nurses are taking care of the various other things that are wrong with Rashad. His right eyelid is ripped nearly completely off, and the ophthalmologist said he has damaged tissue in that eye; he has 9 broken bones in his face; his leg is broken. Somehow, the nurses also are trying to keep him from shivering (since they've lowered his body temperature), because that makes his brain work too hard; they are worried about blood clots in his legs because of inactivity, so they're giving him blood thinners, and they're intravenously feeding him a gross-looking cocktail of protein, acetaminophen and other fluids. That doesn't even include the more serious painkillers they're also pumping into him (thank the Lord). It feels good to believe he isn't feeling any of this.

It's beautiful how so many of Rashad's friends have come and set up posts at the hospital; from boys he's known from as far back as pre-school to co-workers he's only recently met, but who love him already. We are literally spilling out into the hallways at some points. I'm sorry he's missing out on the mini-party in his honor that occurs every day. I hope he can feel it.

We have brought pictures of family members into his hushed and darkened room, including one of our dear Grandmother who passed away in June 2008. She and Rashad were the best of buddies, so we know she's looking out for him. My mom is also keeping a little journal for people to sign, so he'll see it when he wakes up.

I also make sure to tell the revolving door of medical staff a little about Rashad when I can, so that they know he's not just a badly-bruised body lying there; he's our brother, and a devoted father, and a man who was working two jobs to save money to get a better apartment for himself, his girlfriend and 4-year-old daughter. He's the one in the family who makes everyone crack up laughing -- a jokester who makes up nicknames for us that make absolutely no sense (my mother, for instance, is "Thompson;" my father, "Big Lads.") He's a sweetheart and a good boy.

I tell them he has a lot of life left to live. I want them to know that for some reason. I hope it helps somehow.

Tuesday and yesterday we were all running on adrenaline, so things seemed optimistic; today was much harder. The weight of what has happened to my baby brother seems almost too much to bear. This morning, I could barely breathe. I am unnerved by watching my father sob, and my mother fall apart. Even Kadija (those who know my family well will know what this means) has been rendered jokeless.

But, despite the sadness, we are all -- more than ever -- trusting in God, and believing that He is in control of this situation. Prayer is helping us tremendously. And we find comfort in being thankful for what miracles already have happened. The fact that Rashad made it out of that crash alive? Clearly a miracle. The fact that Nasya, his daughter, was not in the car (because those two are joined at the hip)? Clearly a miracle. We know God's hand is in this. We are managing, in between our tears, to keep the faith.

Anyway, that's the update for now. I'll try to keep you all posted from time to time, and prayerfully, by God's grace, I'll have something miraculous to tell you soon.

Thank you again and again for all your love and support. It means so, so, so much.

Tanika