Mom's birthday weekend re-cap

This weekend, we celebrated my Mom's birthday with a cookout and crabfeast in my parents' backyard.

My Mom's two sisters Fern and Valerie drove down from Boston with my Nana, Nana's boyfriend Mr. Raymond and a family friend. My Uncle Michael and Aunt D'Jenne came from Knightdale, N.C., with two of their 3 kids (their oldest just went off to college in Texas), and my cousin Alexis drove in from Richmond. Add those folks in with my family, Kadija and her family, and a bunch of other cousins, neighbors and friends, and there was a big crowd of people happy to help Mom bring in year 59!

Who is that beautiful woman who looks waaaay younger than 59? Well, that's my amazing Mommy!
And who took that beautiful picture of that beautiful woman? My friend Angel!

Didn't she do a great job? My Mom was thrilled at this photo -- thrilled! -- and that is saying something because she hates all pictures of herself. And my Dad was psyched that the yard looks so nice in the background. (Dad would be excited about something like that.)

I asked Angel to come take portraits of my Mom, her sisters and her mother since they'd all be together, and to also maybe try to get one or two nice photos of my Mom and Dad, since we have no decent photos of the two of them (seriously, the last good photo of them was taken in like 1985 or something). Angel did that, but also took some lovely off-the-cuff photos of just our family milling about being messy and unorganized and loud. She's processing the photos now, but sent a few for me to steal a sneak peek.

It's my Cary! Actually smiling in a photo. Awwww.

Me and my little sister Kadija. Isn't she a pretty girl (when she wants to be)? I love her!

Nana, Auntie Val, Mommy and Auntie Fern. Aren't they beautiful?

It was soooo great to have so much of our family in town for Mom's day. I love having family around. But it is made that much nicer when you can look back at really great pictures of everyone who was there. I'm so grateful to Angel for documenting this special day!

I saw her take some super cute photos of my nephew Matty, and of Clair with Lester, and of Dean. I can't wait to see those, and also see the shots she got of my Dad (who fought me tooth and nail to change out of his working-in-the-yard clothes to go get his picture taken.)

OK, really, I can't wait to see ALL the pictures! The sneak peek did its trick. My appetite is sufficiently whet! I'm so glad to have such talented friends!

P.S. Happy birthday today to my dear grandmother, Rosyth White, who I miss every day. I know you would have been at this party, dancing and laughing and eating all the ice cream. I love you Grandma. I miss you.

Mom's birthday/my anniversary/Angel-takes-photos weekend!

My wonderful Mom's birthday is on Sunday. She'll be (cough, cough, ahem!) years old, but she doesn't look a day over 40.

To surprise her, my Nana (her mom), and her two sisters Fern and Valerie drove down from Boston today!

Aunt Fern is on the far left, my Mom's in the middle. Auntie Val is on the far right and my Nana is in the middle. The other two dudes are two of my Mom's brothers. (Uncle Mike didn't make this reunion.)

With all that family in town, we knew we needed to do something fab. So we're having a party this weekend!

I'll be busy, busy, busy (what else is new?) cooking for the party, dealing with the kiddos and basically being hostess-with-the-mostest, because my Dad has made me Chief Party Planner.

But I am so excited because my girl Angel C. is coming to take photos of the party, and some portraits of the Jackson girls (that's my mom and her sisters and Nana)! The photo shoot is my gift to my Mom and to Nana, whose birthday is on the 10th.

I get to see my family! And hang out with Angel! And get some kick-ass photos!! (You can see some of Angel's beautiful portraits at asc-images.com.)

And...tomorrow is me and Lester's 6th anniversary! 

AND...Nana and my Aunties brought LOBSTAH! (Gotta say it the Boston way!)

So this is going to be a great weekend! Can't wait!

On having three children: Fewer crabcakes; more love

I have been really bad about blogging lately because I have been just that busy at work.

Hmmm. Truthfully, I am always busy at work, but some days I am more focused than others -- so I guess I should say it that way: I have been really bad about blogging lately because I have actually been focused.

I wish I could say that more often. Procrastination, why can't I quit you??

Anyway, I wanted to gloat a little and say that the crabcake at my neighborhood restaurant -- the one I wrote about a little bit ago -- just got named best in Baltimore. Whoo-hooo!

The fine print under the crabcake says "Crabcake from Koco's Pub shown actual size." Awww, yeah!

So now, as if hanging out with me and my crazies wasn't enough, you all have even more reason to come and visit!

I should also point out that it just dawned on me today, while emailing with Angel, that I have two pre-schoolers and a toddler. What the HELL was I thinking?!

This made me think (again) about the many articles/columns that have been going back and forth in the NYT and other places about the merits and the downsides of having a big family vs. having only one child.

Every single missive I've read on the topic has made me sad, particularly since I am also being bombarded daily with articles about how hard it is for minority children to succeed in this society - even the smart ones - and how bad the education system is and how kids of wealthier parents are like 10 million times more likely to be successful/happy/not-in-prison-or-on-a-stripper-pole, you name it.

So as I was reading Lauren Sandler and KJ Dell’Antonia as they went back and forth explaining their reasons for choosing the family size they have, I kept thinking: If I had one child, I could afford to move out of our sucky neighborhood, away from the trash and the loud corners and the neighbors teaching them to speak in Baltimore slang. If I had one child, I could send him/her to the absolute best school in the area -- even on our salaries. If I had one child, I wouldn't have to LITERALLY read two books at once every evening when I come home, because Clair demands to read one book but the boys want to read another. Every single night.

(Note: Do you know how hard it is to read two books aloud simultaneously? The stress of making sure each kid is getting read to, and feels attended to, is going to be the death of me, do you hear me?)

If I had one child, we could go to Koco's for crabcakes every night!!

If I had one child, if I had one child, if I had one child...

Of course this is a ridiculous and foolish and unwin-able game to play. If I only had one child, which child would it be? Who could ever choose between the three I've been given? Who would want to?

I had no way of knowing, for example, that I needed Clair so much as I do -- until she was here, sleeping in my arms in the hospital, the light over my bed shining on her perfect face. I thought I was complete with just Cary and Dean. I had no idea how incomplete I was.

Is it harder having more than one child? Yes, of course. And, honestly, I have no idea how we will properly educate them, completely safeguard them, prepare them fully - as individuals - for this world that is crueler to minority kids, crueler to the less-than-wealthy, and made, it seems, to cater to families of only children.

But I know one thing we will do: We will love them.

God knows we will love them.

And as I said to Angel this morning, the beauty of loving children is that adding more doesn't divide the love. It multiplies it.

Exponentially.

Friend-filled weekend

I know I said a few posts ago that as I approach 40, I wanted to make sure I got to see friends and loved ones -- both old and new -- more often.

I just didn't except to do that all in one weekend.

Friday night, my friend Andrea invited me to a party/fundraiser. I was tired (of course) and had nothing to wear, but Andrea is always supportive of what I do, so I wanted to support her. The shindig was at a fancy rented-out space in Harbor East, and there were drinks and music and VIP lounges and things I haven't seen in years! The thing I enjoyed the most was getting to laugh and talk and hang out with my journalist friends -- who put to bed the myth that journalists are frumpy, fashionless people.

Check out these hot girls! I stole this photo from Jeneba's Facebook page. So I can't explain what's going on here. But here we are, doing our best super model "make your upper arm look thinner" pose.

On Saturday, I was invited to the surprise 40th birthday cookout for a good friend of mine from high school. Juanita and I actually went to middle school together, can you believe that? But we solidified our friendship at Eleanor Roosevelt High School, where we joined a band of gals who were all in the science and technology program (Hahahaa! Me and science and tech. What was I thinking?)
I neglected to take even one photo of this mini high school reunion, so instead, I will have to post this horrible throwback of the six of us from some ERHS Homecoming dance. Please note the horrendous hair.

Nicole, April, Juanita, Carla B., Carla J, and me. I also stole this picture from someone's Facebook page. Someone who is not a friend of mine. Because obviously no friend of mine would EVER post this picture on Facebook.

Now that we've all stopped laughing, I need to point out that I really love the fact that I've stayed in touch (not as much as I'd like, but still in touch) with my best girls from high school, who have all grown into amazing women with great careers, beautiful families and fun and supportive personalities. It just points out to me that one of my absolute undeniable talents is picking friends. I am mediocre at a lot of things, but I kick ass at that.

Happy birthday, Juanita!

And then, right after leaving a cookout with some of my oldest friends, I hurried up the road to meet up and have drinks with some of my newest friends: Beth and Angel!

I really tried to fix the crazy eyes! But you get the picture - it's Beth, me and Angel, out having a ball. And apparently being possessed by the devil...

We met up at a fancy, fancy restaurant (Don Pablo's - ahem) and ate bad Mexican food, drank a couple dranky-dranks, got free sopapilla because our server and the service was so terrible, and laughed, dished and had the most frank and encouraging conversation I've had in months. Something about being Mom-bloggers connects us in a way I would never have predicted. And these two smart and funny women are a big reason I'm so glad I started blogging.

Angel and Beth hit it off famously and I would like to point out here again that this speaks to my ability to spot fabulous women from a mile away. Not only do I know who I'll get along with, but I can bring other awesome people together!

It just hit me! Knowing amazing women is my super power!

Anyway, it was a great friend-filled weekend, which ended on Sunday morning with a brunch date with my four best friends in the world: Lester, Clair, Dean and Cary.

(P.S. Shout-out to Lester for holding it down with all the kiddos while I was gallivanting the whole weekend with friends, old and new.)

Clair is 1!

I wanted to write a whole big thing about my baby girl turning 1, but I got slammed this weekend with all sorts of things, including her not-a-party at my parents' house (more on that later, with photos!) And then today, which was supposed to be a day off, I got slammed at work.

So I'll just repost my Facebook status about Clair from her big day (Feb. 16) and most importantly, post a few of the BEAUTIFUL photos Angel took of her. I'll gush more appropriately about the 1-year-old child (Ack!) and the photo-perfection in a later post.

One year ago, God threw the Davis family the best Curveball ever: Clair! In the year that's passed since she surprised us with her existence, we've never laughed, smiled or loved so hard. Clair truly lives up to the meaning of her name (without the "e," it's French for "light") and we are overwhelmingly blessed just to get to live near her shine. Happy 1st Birthday to the best surprise ever!

Fave!

FAVE!

Awwww!

Seriously awesome weekend!

So much great stuff happened this weekend, I would be here all day writing if I didn't break it into manageable chunks.

First ... Clair perfected her get-down-get-funky dance, and it is the best part of my day.

The girl's got rhythm, no? Takes after her Mommy. Sorry, Lester. You know it's true.

Also, we went to Storyville again, and Clair really got into it, as opposed to the last time we came, when she was a teenier baby and conked out the entire time.

Fun with magnets.

The Davis family took over a whole section of Storyville. We roll deep, yo!

The boys' second time at the library was a huge success. While I picked out books that were all on a waitlist, dangit, they picked out books to take home, put 'em in a basket, and then sat down -- uninstructed by me -- and started "reading." Yes. My boys are awesome.

Seriously, I turned around from the library counter and this was happening. I almost fell over.

Also, drumroll please ...... Dean Ezra Davis earned himself a pair of Elmo-covered Big Boy Underpants for successfully declaring his need for the potty -- and then successfully using said potty -- three times in a row!

"I'm getting bigger!" he said, after putting on his underwear.

He was sooo excited! And when he also woke up this morning with a dry diaper, and went to the potty first thing in the morning, we also decided to send him TO SCHOOL WITH HIS BIG BOY UNDERPANTS ON!  I have no idea how this turned out. I will have to call Michelle at some point and see if there were accidents, but I'm too scared.

For his part, Cary tries, but he is not having as much success as his brother. But he melts down when Dean gets a Raisinet for his potty-success, and he doesn't, and he wants to wear Big Boy Underpants, too. So, being the sucker that I am, I just give him a chocolate raisin for "trying," and I put underpants on over his diaper. This seems to satisfy him for now. But it's making a mockery of the incentives. Oh well.No one said parenting was easy.

But the total cherry on top of this sweet-sundae of a weekend, was piling my entire family into the minivan and driving 100 hours to Angel's house in Virginia, where we got Clair's 1st Birthday photos taken, hugged and squealed over one another, ate, drank, laughed and had the. best. time.

Of course, I have NO photos of us together because I was so focused on Clair and her photo shoot, I lost my phone for several crucial hours in Angel's bedroom. But Angel has documented the fun, fun day here on her excellent blog (which you should be reading, anyway, if you're not already because she is absolutely hysterical and her children are gorgeous).

Angel and I have become such good friends over the course of the last 3+ years, seeing us together on Saturday, you would never have known that we've only actually met in person twice -- yesterday's visit counting as one of the two times. Being with her was so easy and warm and familiar, it was like we were lifelong friends. I was so happy to be in her house, cooing at her babies, laughing with her two Roars, eating fine cuisine (LOL!) and drinking supremely tasty cocktails. (I was a little tipsy when the night was over, but don't tell my children.)

Anyway, I am always amazed at what a great job I do picking friends. Just about all the women in my life are fabulous in so many ways, I marvel at how much awesomeness would be in one room if I was lucky enough to get them all together. Angel is no exception. She is beautiful, talented, smart, skilled in a wide range of things, a loving, kind and inspirational Mom, creative, generous and has great hair.

I kind of hate her.

But when I start to get jealous, I think about how those talents often benefit ME (of course). For example, her skills with a camera give me sweet shots like these:

Tahira, don't ask me what I'm doing with her hair. OK? I don't. frikkin.' know.

Isn't that so cute? I can't wait to see the rest of her photos! Most importantly, I hope we can find time to get together more often, now that we know that we fit together like orange juice and coconut rum. And oh, how sweet it is.

Friends with twins, and rolling Clair

I was supposed to be posting all about Dean, but I have two other short things to say, so I'll save the Dean post till tomorrow.

1) Congratulations to my dear friend Angel on the birth of her HUGE twins last night! I won't steal her thunder by revealing their names or any of the details about the birth here. But I will point out that this amazing woman endured so much to get these two babies fat, healthy and here -- and she (almost) never complained! She is an amazing Mom of two already, and she clearly will be totally killer at being the mother of twins! I'm so happy for her and proud of her and I can't wait to get my hands on those two darling babies! (And Zachary too!)

Hope you're ready to embrace the chaos, girl! :-)


2) Clair has started rolling! But only in her sleep. She started on Friday night, by waking me up in the middle of the night complaining. When I went in to pat her on the back, I found that I could not pat her on the back, because she had flipped over, and was lying in the dark, playing with her feet! She did this again last night and then couldn't fall back to sleep right away, I guess because it was just too exciting, all that rolling!
And she turns herself completely around in the crib, and basically does laps all night long. The girl is full of energy, I tell you. And I love it! Even if it means I am pooped this morning!

Speaking of Clair, I finally got video of her blowing raspberries, but Blogger won't let me upload it! Check back later...