Working, playing, leaving a legacy

I got to hang out with my favorite girl this weekend, Miss Super Spunky Drives Me Crazy Cracks Me Up and Makes My Heart Soar girl.

(Sidenote: My parents visited on Sunday and at one point Dad says to me, "You are so enamored with Clair," which is the second time someone has said that to me. [The other was my mother, come to think of it, when Clair was a tiny infant.] Is it that obvious how much I adore this girl? Do I need an intervention?)

We went to her tumbling class and then to the mall to buy a gift for a friend of mine who recently got married.

She loves this ball pit o' germs.

Introducing her to food court Asian food!

While we were out spending Mommy-Clairzee time, Lester and the boys went to learn about "flying things" at Science Alive at Masonville Cove.

Dean, wearing the wings he and Lester made, and looking like a young Sidney Poitier, who, by the way, is one of Lester's favorite actors!

Our friends Antwyne and Mari unexpectedly brought their son Antony too! So the boys had a friend to hang out with, which makes me so happy. The more friends they see having fun with science, the more likely they are to think that science is cool, right? (Or so I tell myself.)

Antony and Dean bird-watching.

Checking out a bird's nest. Mari tells me the boys were none-too-pleased that the bird wasn't considerate enough to be home while they were shaking that tree.

And on Monday, I had a day off from work because Michelle was off. So after picking the boys up from school, we all went to a playground and to lunch!

Abby and Maya came with us!

She wanted to be gently pushed without stopping, to the point where she was ever-so-slightly falling asleep in the swing. LOL.

All this great time spent with my littlest loved ones made me think that being a SAHM mom wouldn't actually be so bad, IF we could afford it. The boys are 10,000 times less crazy than they were even a year ago at this time, when I would have stabbed you in the eyes with Bobby pins if you even suggested the idea of me staying home with the children. My Monday off with them moved so smoothly -- from drop-off to pick-up to bedtime dance party, rockin' out to the Jackson 5.

I was so much more relaxed and present all day. I think that was the nicest thing -- being actually present with them, instead of running on fumes and frustration.

Being at home would also be nice, because it would be good to get to do the things *I* want to do with the children during the day, instead of hoping Michelle will do them (which, most of the time, she doesn't.)

And it would be lovely to get to spend more than two hours a day with the children I actually prayed for.

But we are committed to sending our children to private school, for many reasons (which I promise I will get to in a dedicated blog post soonest), and to giving them a life of experiences that we believe will enrich them and improve their futures. And, while we are far from wealthy, we also hope that we can do more for them financially than our parents ever could, in terms of helping them pay for school, or buy a first home. By doing so, we hope the kids as adults will be in even better positions than we are, so that their kids will be even better off coming out of the starting gate. We want to leave a legacy that maybe our grandchildren will realize -- something that happens far too infrequently in the black community, sad to say it.

So that means Momma Gotsta Go To Work. (Cue Vanessa Williams' "Work to Do.")

So I'll cram a lot of fun and Mommy-and-me time into weekends and post-work-hours during the week, and trust that a little dance partying goes a long way.

Back at work

I'm back at my desk, going through 100 million email messages.

I am fairly fried from a night of no sleep (Clair decided to regress -- of course! -- and wake up to eat and play TWICE last night; and I went to the NEW EDITION CONCERT! AND my brain was whirring a million miles a minute all night long).

 I also have no idea what is going on with any of my clients until I have a "download meeting" later this morning with my boss and my co-worker/friend who took over for me while I was gone. So I'm feeling totally out of sorts. Need more coffee. ASAP.

I have lots of things to relate about my last few days of maternity leave (zoo visit! closet clean-out! Cary misses me! Me-crying all day on Sunday! NEW EDITION CONCERT!) but I really do need to go through email and try to catch up somehow.

So I will try to post later, perhaps, if I have time. If not, then tomorrow!)

Meanwhile, I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

(Zzzzzzzzzzzz......)

Girlfriends are the greatest!

About two months ago, my friend Jen wrote an e-mail to a few new moms, asking if we could get together and talk about the many challenges of attempting to find a work-life-mommy-marriage balance. Over waffles and cocktails at a trendy Midtown restaurant, we determined that there is no such Holy Grail. And in fact, people should stop calling it a "balance," dangit! It's more like a work-life-mommy-marriage unbalance.

From there, the Unbalanced Mommy Group was born.

Today we met again, this time with babies in tow, because a number of us couldn't get away without the kiddos. Which was actually cool, because the babies got to play with (more like near) each other, and we got to eat creme brulee French toast (made sinfully delicious by Jen!) and kvetch.

Here's a pic of some of the babies who were literally EVERYWHERE during our brunch:




We decided we'll meet this way -- one time with the babies; the next time without -- for as long as it's convenient and necessary.

I, for one, hope that's a long, long time, because I honestly don't know where I'd be without my girlfriends. I have many, from all points throughout my life. Some are married; some divorced or still looking. Some have teenaged kids or kids close to Cary and Dean's age; some have none at all. Some are former journalists like me; others had the sense enough to get real jobs. (Hahaha! Just a joke for all the journos). Some I talk to just about every day; others I wish I could talk to far more often. Each one brings something different to my life. But they are all various shades of awesome.

I love my husband, my family and my kids. But I can say that I am blessed to also have really good friends, both old and new, who I also love.

So even if you're not an Unbalanced Mommy, I want to give props to you, dear friends. So here's to: Desiree, Neelofer, Candice, Lisa, Laurie, Su, Jill, Kelly, Andrea, Naita, Lynn, Stacey, Stephanie S., Stephanie D., Monica, Juanita, Carla, Angel, Theola, Mari, Jen, Jessica, Sumathi, Shreya, Erin, Erika, Olivia ... and many others!

You all support and love me in so many ways, and I'm grateful to God for each one of you!

Since this is Show me the Mommy Sunday, here are pictures the incomparable Jen McMenamin took during our Unbalanced Mommies group:

I have no idea why Cary was fussing here; but Dean is enthralled with the balloons Stacey brought for the kids.


This is Dean's usual look; I love that Jen caught it.

Cary is still looking distressed, but at least you can see here what beautiful eyes he has. And LOOK at my Deanie's cute little smile. Don't you just want to eat him?!