I would like to use this space today for confession.
Forgive me, bank account, for I have sinned.
When my boys were born, Lester and I agreed to be the kind of parents who believed in "less is more." We agreed that it was best to raise children who did not come to expect so many material things in life, but who were grateful for the few nice things we gave them. "Grateful" and "few" being the key words there.
So as their 1st birthday approached, we settled on a minimalist celebration. We'd have cake and ice cream at my Mom and Dad's with my sisters, brothers and their kids only. We'd eschew games, music, a big meal and most importantly a lot of gifts, for a few "Kodak" moments with family and a low-key, inexpensive day. But NOT a party.
I'm still doing well in the not-a-party department, even though I did buy a few party decorations, including hats for the boys, two balloons, plates, cups, etc.. But we're still gathering at my Mom's and the only folks outside of my immediate family who are invited are my cousin and her twin boys who are 6 months younger than Cary and Dean. I just couldn't leave them out. Those four boys are destined to be best of friends some day!
But the gifts...
Oh, the gifts....
About a month ago, I ordered a few books online, to add to their library. (Literacy is a big deal in our house, and we all know that reading creates synapses, my favorite thing!) I was so smug when I told Lester that was ALL Cary and Dean would get.
Then, my co-worker and friend bought a climbing toy for her son's 1st birthday (see pics from Hugo's first birthday party). I immediately knew that my boys would LOVE such a toy. So I ordered one from Toys R Us.
It's OK, I thought. One big toy for both of them isn't a bad thing. And the climbing is good for their development.
Later, I noticed a little red wagon with seats for two. I imagined pulling Cary and Dean around the neighborhood in the red wagon, and how much they'd love being able to see in front, on the sides and behind them, in a way they can't do in the stroller.
So I ordered one.
My plan was to give them the books to open at their not-a-party on Sunday at Mom's and the big toys would be available for their use at home on their actual birthday.
But then I thought, "Hmmm...they don't have a toy to 'open' on their actual birthday." So instead of just wrapping up one or two of the books, I ordered a little toy dog that yips and wags his tail when pulled, and one of those old-school xylophones that are ubiquitous in all American childhoods.
Let's re-cap: books, a climbing toy, a little red wagon, a toy doggie, a xylophone.
How exactly is that list "minimalist?"
Why did I feel the need for them to have toys to "open?" They have NO IDEA it's their birthday, or what a birthday is or that you're supposed to get presents or what "opening" said presents means or anything like that! They are a YEAR OLD. Cary thinks the fan's name is "Danh" for goodness sake!
What was I thinking? I'm so ashamed.
I need help. I really do. Not to mention, we're getting the boys' photos taken tomorrow by my good friend, Jennifer McMenamin, and that endeavor is costing us a GRIP.
So all in all, this birthday is turning out to be expensive as hell. And my confidence is a little shaky about our ability to raise grateful kids who don't feel entitled to so many things.
Next year, I'll have to do better.
4 comments:
Here is my sage advice with my (almost) 5 years of parenting to get rid of your guilt:
* Feel free to spoil them while they don't know any better! Reign it in when they are old enough to know better (like my boys).
* The climbing thing you will use for a couple of years, so totally worth it.
*The wagon - OH YES, you will use that and the seat belts will be SO WORTH the extra money. We used our wagon for two entire summers to take the boys to the pool!
I can't find pics of them in the wagon so enjoy this flashback when they had JUST turned a year old:
http://jonandlaura.blogspot.com/2007/05/pool-time.html
The climbing thing - definitely worth it and the wagon - think of it as being for you and not for them. That is the way I justified the purchase of a ridiculously expensive new scooter for my soon to be 5 year old babycake. She wore her first Micro Mini out keeping up with me around the city. Without that scooter I would have had to carry her or listen to her whinge
Agree--the climber and wagon will definitely be worth it. I, too, have a hard time reigning it in when it comes to gifts. My trouble comes at Christmas, but I digress. My one piece of advice is to check Craig's List or consignment sales for the big items. You can sometimes score great deals!
Already we are loving the wagon! So I totally believe you all. They're still getting used to the climbing/slidey thing. Mostly, they think it's hysterical to throw things down the slide. Hey - whatever works.
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