Halloween week begins

Remember back in the day when we were kids and Halloween was on one day -- Oct. 31?

No more. Now, Halloween is the weekend before Oct. 31, the week leading up to Oct. 31, Oct. 31 and maybe the weekend after.

Needless to say, the endless week of candy and treats pleases my children to no end. I am not thrilled about all the sweets, but it is a real treat for me to see them so excited to be in costumes this year. This is the first year they were actually into it.

Yo! Davis Kiddies! Yo! Davis Kiddies!

DJ Lance Rock and Brobee - best of friends.

At Halloween Member Night at the Science Center, we tried the "Mummies" movie in the IMAX theater. Needless to say, creepy dead people in 3-D did not go over very well with Brobee and DJ Lance Rock. (Parenting fail!)

SCARY Mommy! Broo-hoo-hah-ha-ha!

There's more to come this week at school -- two parties, a parade, scarecrow stuffing and other things I'm sure I'm forgetting.

These kids are gonna be all Halloweened out by the end of the month. And so will I.

This page

This page has been open on my desktop at work since 9:30 a.m.

It is now 5:03 - three minutes past my time to leave - and I have been so busy, I haven't had a chance to write anything.

I intended to write a post about liking my children, but now that will have to come at a later date.

Stay tuned.

Quick catch-up post!

I have 15 minutes before a call, so I thought I'd take 10 to get down for posterity's sake a few things I have been meaning to blog about.  In truth, each of the events could have been its own full post, but in the interest of time (which I never have enough of) this will have to do.

1. Russy and Matty spent a Saturday and Sunday with us, so my sister and her husband could spend their anniversary weekend sans kids. We went to the Harbor, and the Maryland Science Center.

B'more boys!

This photo cracks me up. A dinosaur ROARED and this is the look they both gave. Ha!

Isn't Matty the world's most adorable child? P.S. Please let me tell you about the temper tantrums when it was time to leave this water area (from Clair, of course).

We went to the Charmery, a new super-cute ice cream spot in Hampden, which boasts spoons that change colors when cold! I had salted caramel ice cream; Lester had fig and port wine ice cream! Weird! The kiddos all got gummi bears on their (various flavors of) ice cream, which was really all they wanted.

Clair is eating all my salted caramel ice cream while I try to document this moment!

The owner of The Charmery came over to personally compliment Cary on his "excellent ice cream mustache," complete with goatee!

And we took them to a really awesome farm, where little piglets ran past us, we got to milk a cow, the boys officiated a pig race, and we got to hold little chicks just a day old.

Pale green and peach-colored eggs? Say what?

2. Lester and I went to a really beautiful wedding (remember the aforementioned MACARONI AND CHEESE BAR?? [Whaaat?!]) and my sweetie and I clean up pretty good, if I do say so myself.

3. And we spent the night at my Mom's, which was good because my cousin Nikki (who had just defended her dissertation and so is now Dr. Nikki!) and her family came in town from New Jersey, so we got to see everyone, including my sister's Kadija's kids, who we haven't seen in way too long.

Nikki's daughter, Nia, who is the sweetest 8-year-old girl -- and very tall! Also, Alahna and Kwahli. Hi kids!

Me and my "little" cousin, Nikki.

For perspective, here we are at my Nana's house in Boston circa 1981. That's my cousin Dru sulking in the background.

The kids had a FABULOUS time playing with all their cousins. As usual, there were tears galore when it was time to leave.

This is my nephew, Kalonji, who will be 13 next month. I can't stand it.

This is my brother Haleem and his girlfriend and her baby, Olivia. I was really excited to see Haleem. He almost always misses the family events. Love him so much.

OK, now I'm all caught up. Whew!

Be proud of me!

We all spent the weekend at my Mom's house, because Lester and I went to a wedding in Falls Church (closer to Mom's than to us) and because my cousin Nikki was coming in town with her family and stopped by to see the whole lot of us.

There were a jillion people around, so the boys were in heaven, and as usual, there was lots and lots of food.

Which brings me to the title of this post.

Be proud of me because I sat at this table for hours, talking to my sister, my cousin, Lester and my Mom about all sorts of topics. And I did not have even one piece of that delicious-looking Halloween-themed cake my sister made.

I don't see you sitting there Cake-i-fer.

Not even one, tiny piece!

OK, OK. At the wedding, I did avail myself of the MACARONI AND CHEESE BAR (Whaaat?!) and even though there was wedding cake (which I ate), there was also a full dessert bar -- so I availed myself of that too.

And copious amounts of wine.

But let's focus on the Halloween cake, shall we?

For hours I ignored that devilish thing with that creamy center, covered in chocolate. HOURS!

And when I took that walk last week, I did NOT stop for Peanut Chews.

And I'm having yet another salad for lunch.

I'm so proud of myself I think I deserve an award. A brownie perhaps? (Just kidding!)

Morning person, I am not

Have I ever shared with you just how much of a morning person I am not?

No?

Allow me to list the things I like to do less than wake up early:

• Watch horror movies
• Run/jog
• Deprive myself of chocolate
• Clean up vomit
• Litter
• Pick the shredded cheese out of a salad when I clearly told the server, "No cheese, please."

OK. There are probably many other things, like "watch one of my kids be sick and not be able to help," and "hurt people's feelings," but those kinds of things are givens.

Anyway, it is with that context that I confess: I did not get up this morning to get on the treadmill.

The kids were off from school for some reason, so we didn't have to get up to get them ready, and I decided to take advantage of the extra few minutes of quiet, warmth and comfy-ness. I can't even say I overslept. I was semi-awake but made a conscious decision to snooze. I made it exactly one day.  I suck at follow-through, yo. Especially at 6 a.m..

But OK - I am determined to do something to make up for it.

I just finished my lunch (a salad with tuna, and a very small cup of tomato soup. Not a French fry or a brownie in sight) and now I am going to go for a little walk around our building. It's not the same as power-walking on the treadmill, with my heart rate pumping. But it's something.

(Hmmm. Maybe I'll stop at the gas station on the corner and buy a pack of peanut chews. No! NO! Nooooooo!)

Need more hours in the day!

Here is my schedule today:

6 a.m. - Wake up, reluctantly. Feel like vomiting because I'm so tired.

6:10 - Treadmill for a half-hour brisk walk. (This was my first day trying this. I realllllly intend to keep it up. Please send encouragement.) Feel like dying, because I'm so woefully out of shape.

6:45 - Shower/dress/Make bed/Help kids finish getting ready for school.

7:50 - Drop kids off at school. Run to 7-11 to pick up coffee. Decide not to buy a lottery ticket (This is a big deal, mind you.)

8:30 - Meeting with my boss and a youngster looking for nonprofit work

9 a.m. - Prepare for 9:30 interview. Return/send some email.  (Steal a few minutes to write this blog post.)

9:30 - Interview

10:30  - Interview

11:30 - Interview

1 p.m. - Interview

2 p.m. - Interview

3 p.m. - Leave for assignment

3:30  - Assignment (with a photographer.)

6 p.m. - Hair appointment (We're going to a fancy black tie wedding on Saturday.)

7:30- Go to Target/Walmart for Pull-Ups for boys/diapers for Clair. And also ever-more hair products for me.

9 p.m. - Home/dinner/husband/collapse.

Minus the treadmill, which is new as of today, my life has been looking very much like this lately.
And my weekends have been so jam-packed this month, we haven't even made it back to church -- and won't until NEXT Sunday.

Now I ask you, when I am supposed to blog?

When am I supposed to spend (quality/instructive) time with God?

When am I supposed to get into Book 2 of "Game of Thrones?"

When am I SUPPOSED TO EAT?

Go wash the dishes, Mom!

The other night Cary said to me, "Mommy, we don't need your help anymore with this puzzle. Go wash the dishes."

Go. wash. the. dishes. Wait...what?

It's not so much that my 3-year-old had the audacity to order me to do something (Cary has a long way to go toward understanding his tone, and also what is appropriate to say to adults and what is not. We are working on that. Daily.)

It's that he ordered me to wash the dishes! What is this? 1950?

Careful readers will remember a post from a while back where I detailed the chores-breakdown at our house. In it, I noted that Lester actually washes the dishes the majority of the time in our house. I do my fair share, but it just ends up a lot of times that he does the dishes. So where did that sexist statement come from?

His statement (command?) reminds me of this Modern Love piece: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/06/fashion/a-feminists-daughter-finds-love-in-the-kitchen.html?emc=eta1&_r=0

I read Modern Love all the time, but this one was one of the most beautiful and nuanced posts they've run, I think.

It's about a daughter of the feminist movement, her complicated relationship with her own mother and how it colors her relationship with her 10-year-old daughter. It starts off when her daughter lists reasons why she loves her.

"You make my lunch most days,” she began, “and you make dinner,” the blogger says. Other observations followed, including that she was “huggy” and “smart.” But first came the kitchen.



The post goes on to explore the writer's many feelings about being connected to the kitchen. "Why does food service count the most?" she wonders.

But in the end -- as she revisits her childhood, kindly, but not rosily -- she comes to the conclusion that it's not so bad being associated with the kitchen, a warm place where people are fed and nourished in various ways - all important. She says:

I know how much the mundane care of children matters. That is why I stop work when the school day ends and greet my daughter with a hug. I may be tired, stressed out or grumpy; I may bemoan the confinement, the repetition, the career limits. But I do it anyway. I pull away from paid pursuits and open myself to the opportunity to delight in my daughter.

My delight comes freely, inspired by a leggy girl with rich brown eyes who has just come home. But our time together is about more than delight. When I hand her a snack and look into her face, seeking the stories of her day, I intend for her to feel how much she matters. She matters more to me right then than anything I could be doing without her. And we will not have these afternoons forever. 

We will not have these afternoons forever. Or these evenings on our floor between dinner and bedtime, playing Legos, reading books, tumbling off the sofa, playing "monster" or doing puzzles.

Which is why I ignored my child's tone, and his directive, and kept right on helping.

Those dishes can wait. So can the lecture on feminist history. 

And one day in the not-too-far-off future, it'll be Cary's job to do the dishes. 

Mom's birthday weekend re-cap

This weekend, we celebrated my Mom's birthday with a cookout and crabfeast in my parents' backyard.

My Mom's two sisters Fern and Valerie drove down from Boston with my Nana, Nana's boyfriend Mr. Raymond and a family friend. My Uncle Michael and Aunt D'Jenne came from Knightdale, N.C., with two of their 3 kids (their oldest just went off to college in Texas), and my cousin Alexis drove in from Richmond. Add those folks in with my family, Kadija and her family, and a bunch of other cousins, neighbors and friends, and there was a big crowd of people happy to help Mom bring in year 59!

Who is that beautiful woman who looks waaaay younger than 59? Well, that's my amazing Mommy!
And who took that beautiful picture of that beautiful woman? My friend Angel!

Didn't she do a great job? My Mom was thrilled at this photo -- thrilled! -- and that is saying something because she hates all pictures of herself. And my Dad was psyched that the yard looks so nice in the background. (Dad would be excited about something like that.)

I asked Angel to come take portraits of my Mom, her sisters and her mother since they'd all be together, and to also maybe try to get one or two nice photos of my Mom and Dad, since we have no decent photos of the two of them (seriously, the last good photo of them was taken in like 1985 or something). Angel did that, but also took some lovely off-the-cuff photos of just our family milling about being messy and unorganized and loud. She's processing the photos now, but sent a few for me to steal a sneak peek.

It's my Cary! Actually smiling in a photo. Awwww.

Me and my little sister Kadija. Isn't she a pretty girl (when she wants to be)? I love her!

Nana, Auntie Val, Mommy and Auntie Fern. Aren't they beautiful?

It was soooo great to have so much of our family in town for Mom's day. I love having family around. But it is made that much nicer when you can look back at really great pictures of everyone who was there. I'm so grateful to Angel for documenting this special day!

I saw her take some super cute photos of my nephew Matty, and of Clair with Lester, and of Dean. I can't wait to see those, and also see the shots she got of my Dad (who fought me tooth and nail to change out of his working-in-the-yard clothes to go get his picture taken.)

OK, really, I can't wait to see ALL the pictures! The sneak peek did its trick. My appetite is sufficiently whet! I'm so glad to have such talented friends!

P.S. Happy birthday today to my dear grandmother, Rosyth White, who I miss every day. I know you would have been at this party, dancing and laughing and eating all the ice cream. I love you Grandma. I miss you.

Mom's birthday/my anniversary/Angel-takes-photos weekend!

My wonderful Mom's birthday is on Sunday. She'll be (cough, cough, ahem!) years old, but she doesn't look a day over 40.

To surprise her, my Nana (her mom), and her two sisters Fern and Valerie drove down from Boston today!

Aunt Fern is on the far left, my Mom's in the middle. Auntie Val is on the far right and my Nana is in the middle. The other two dudes are two of my Mom's brothers. (Uncle Mike didn't make this reunion.)

With all that family in town, we knew we needed to do something fab. So we're having a party this weekend!

I'll be busy, busy, busy (what else is new?) cooking for the party, dealing with the kiddos and basically being hostess-with-the-mostest, because my Dad has made me Chief Party Planner.

But I am so excited because my girl Angel C. is coming to take photos of the party, and some portraits of the Jackson girls (that's my mom and her sisters and Nana)! The photo shoot is my gift to my Mom and to Nana, whose birthday is on the 10th.

I get to see my family! And hang out with Angel! And get some kick-ass photos!! (You can see some of Angel's beautiful portraits at asc-images.com.)

And...tomorrow is me and Lester's 6th anniversary! 

AND...Nana and my Aunties brought LOBSTAH! (Gotta say it the Boston way!)

So this is going to be a great weekend! Can't wait!

Busy, busy, busy!

It must be this time of year, because when I look at all my friends' blogs, no one else is posting either. Busy-ness abounds!

I know the Davises have been really busy and will be for the next few weeks, it seems.

Here are a few things that have been happening in our lives that I didn't have a chance to record before now.

1. While I was away in Atlanta with Clair, Lester and the boys were hanging buddies.

They went to see a "Goodnight Moon" play! And met the actors!

They look bewildered.

 They rode on the famous Dentzel Carousel in Glen Echo Park.

They went to the National Building Museum in Washington D.C., and visited the "Play, Work, Build" exhibit.

And they capped off the weekend by watching some of the Sunday football game at Nana's and Granddad's house!

Busy, right? In between all that, Lester also took the kids to "Make Your Own Pizza" at Uno's and did the grocery shopping. I'm tired just thinking about all that stuff.

2. I got back from Atlanta and really needed a nap. But my work-life has been crazy, and this past week, personally, was also a whirlwind week for me.

I had my staff retreat in Potomac and a staff happy hour at a nearby restaurant/bar (also in Glen Echo, coincidentally).

That's me in the pink, giving a presentation!

After the happy hour, guess who came to hang out and eat and drink (some more) with me? Beth!! Laura C. was supposed to come, too, but got busy trying to make that paper, yo! (You better werk, Laura C.!) and we also invited my love, Angel C., but she was busy making a human being.

I don't have any photos of Beth and me gabbing it up, but rest assured, we looked fabulous and we had a blast. LOVE my blog friends turned IRL-friends!!

3. Then, at the end of the week, my lovely, wonderful, super-amazing friend Shreya had her annual dinner party for all her girlfriends. This is the one where her chef-husband (who is an attorney by day) makes a 4-course gourmet meal and serves it to all of us. And the food is always out of this world. This year, the theme was "NOLA" and the gumbo, shrimp 'n grits, po' boys and bananas Foster were all so good, seriously, I am still drooling.

My friend Jen and my friend Kelly. I had a photo of me and my friend Renee, but I look like a cow in it, especially next to Renee, who looks amazing in a dress she MADE, so I decided not to post that picture. I know that goes against all the "Show Me the Mommy" empowerment jazz, but whatevs. Get over it.

Also, this year, Shreya really put her husband to the test by having 43 women at the dinner. FORTY-THREE!

That's Shreya at the head of one of the 3 long tables of ladies. She's saying wonderful things about all of us individually while her husband, at the sink, is getting the first course prepared. I can't say enough about Shreya's Girls' Dinner.

We always talk about how awesome Shreya is for treating her girlfriends to this kind of pampering and love, but for real for real?? Her husband Jason gets the gold star!

4. And finally, this weekend, my sister watched all three of my children so I could take Lester on his French-themed birthday getaway!

We stayed in a hotel, where we played French music and had other French-themed fun. I won't go into details. Ahem.

We had a sublime dinner at this French country restaurant in Ellicott City. Top-notch. I highly recommend.

Sunday brunch. Continuing in the French theme: French-press coffee!

This was my first time ever leaving all three kids; I admit that I was more than a little bit nervous. But the kids did GREAT; they went to Russy's football game and ran around like crazy people, having a blast. Then came back to my Mom's and conked out!

Matty and Clair, the pacifier twins.

Deanie and Clairzee - without Mommy or Daddy and doing just fine!! Who would've thunk it?

Why is Cary in the stroller? No one knows.

 I was so surprised! Tahira and my mom said that Clair hardly cried the whole time. and the boys were well-behaved.

And when we came back to get them Sunday afternoon, Cary and Dean took one look at us and said, "We missed you, mother and father! Hooray, you're back!!"

HA!!! No, what they actually said -- with sour faces -- was: "Noooooo! We want to stay here!!" And then refused to give us kisses or hugs. Oh well!

Now we know we can leave them with family and they'll be just fine. I predict more outings for Lester and me from here on out!

But first, after all this busy-ness, I need a NAP.

Three cheers for Lester! (And other family Davis tidbits)

My friend David introduced me to a video that reminds me so much of the kind of man I married. I can't stop watching this super-cute video. I love it that I married a man who I know, without a doubt, would get out there and do this with our own little spirited girl one day.

https://weallsupport.com/this-is-an-awesome-dad/

As it happens, today is Lester's birthday! So let's hear it for all the good men and great Dads out there like him. Hip-hip-hooray! Hip-hip-hooray! Hip-hip-HOORAY!

Now...let's get a little bit rowdy! R-O-W-D-Y! :-)

Happy birthday, Les!I've got big plans for us this weekend!

###

In other news, Clair and I went to Atlanta Friday through Monday. We had a great time visiting my dear friend Neelofer, her husband Anthony and their beautiful, sweet-as-can-be kids.

Suraya, Kadin and Clair at the Atlanta Zoo.

Clair looking at the flamingos, being reminded of Baltimore!

It was so great to sit up until the wee hours with Neelofer, eating chocolate chip cookies and talking about everything under the sun. We laughed, we cried, we were bleary-eyed in the morning. It was perfect.

Clair did amazingly well on the plane! She was busy, of course, up and down on my lap, peeking at the people in front of us and behind us, making a mess of snacks everywhere and playing with every toy I brought with us. But there were no meltdowns or crying jags. Everyone around us thought she was hilarious.

She was incredibly clingy though, once we were on land and hanging out with Neelofer and her family. She wouldn't let anyone hold her and swatted at the kids when they tried to come near her. She did show some moments of sweetness, like when Suraya wanted to hold her hand at breakfast.

Look how sweet they are!

But for the most part, she was attached to me at the hip and very possessive of her personal space and anything she thought belonged to her (even things that belonged to them.) I love my baby girl very much, but I will be so glad when she grows out of that phase. Sheesh.

###

My Deanie got a little recognition card yesterday from the head of the pre-school. It said, Dean is a team player!" and on the back, Miss Katie hand-wrote:"Thank you for sharing trains with your friends!" He was so ridiculously proud of that card, he wanted to carry it with him (back) to school, in his little sweatshirt pocket. So I let him. You should have seen his happy little face.

But this, unexpectedly, made Cary upset. HE wanted a card from Miss Katie, too. Nothing I offered him would placate him. I tried to explain that Dean earned his card by being a good friend and sharer. Cary was inconsolable. In order to get us out the door and to school on time, I told him I would talk to Miss Katie and ask her to give him a card.

So when I saw her this morning in the drop-off line, I did just that. I told her how much Dean loved the card but that Cary was upset that he didn't get one. She explained that Dean really went above and beyond yesterday, happily and sweetly sharing his toys with a classmate who wanted to play with them. She and Miss Michelle were both so impressed, she felt like she really wanted to recognize Dean. But she said she understood what I was saying and that she'd make an effort to spot Cary doing something good and give him a card today. It was a pleasant and sorta funny conversation, and on my way back to my car, I stopped and told Cary I talked to Miss Katie -- he was so happy! Dean was happy. And I was happy! Yay, right?

Not so much. Now, I have meddler's remorse. I thought I was doing the right thing. But now I feel bad that I did that. That was like a Supreme Helicopter Parent move, wasn't it? Like, textbook.

Here's the thing that is really ironic. I prefaced my whole chat with Miss Katie by saying, "I'm really not one of those parents who think that kids should get recognition for nothing!" And then I basically said, in so many words, "Umm, but could you give my kid something for nothing?"

Ugh!

I am kicking myself! At least Miss Katie said she would wait until she actually saw him doing something worth recognizing before giving him a card. That elevates this story from being completely pathetic to being only somewhat pathetic.

Note to self: Get it together. girl. Don't be one of "those" parents!

Privilege/obligation

"To whom much is given, much is required."

I know we've all heard that, and on some levels I know that the people whom I choose to call friends generally believe that.

But what does it really mean? What does giving back really look like?

I tend to feel comfortable in my "giving back" because I work for a company that only works with nonprofits and foundations who are working toward progressive causes. The work I do might seem insignificant, but in some small way, I tell myself, I'm helping those organizations. Thus, I'm helping the people that they help. On top of that, I'm on the board of a local charter school and on the board of the Baltimore Urban Debate League, both of which are doing their part to help young people in the city learn, grow and thrive. So that's helping, right? And every year we've been married, Lester and I have given to a number of progressive organizations/causes/campaigns.

But is that enough?

In the past two weeks, two different things have happened to me that have lingered on my mind and in my heart far longer than I would have expected.

First, a homeless man outside of Starbucks asked me for money. If I have cash/change, I almost always give something to people on the street who ask. This day was no different, but I needed to get change first, so I told him "On my way out, I will." He nodded. When I came out with my coffee, I handed him $2, smiled and kept walking, hurriedly, to my car. I heard him call out behind me, "Thank you." And then, "My name's Joseph, by the way."

I felt like I'd been hit in the chest. Heat rushed to my face. I turned and looked at him, sitting there, making himself small. He was older than me, but not old, despite his salt and pepper hair. He looked almost dignified, wrapped in a scarf, his legs crossed. I said, "Hello, Joseph," and got in my car.

I felt like crying and I wasn't sure why. The biggest thing I felt was ashamed: I felt comfortable giving him money, when what I should have given him was respect.

This has been on my mind ever since. The image pops up in my head at the strangest times. It plagues me while I sleep. Joseph. Not "a man who needed money." Just a man. A human. Joseph.

Then, this week, I was paying for my parking at a meter downtown, on my way to a board meeting. A young man, maybe 17 or 18, came running up to me with a badly-stitched-together story about how he needed money to catch the bus, but only had a credit card, so could he pay for my parking with his card and I just give him cash. "It'll be half the price for you," he said, salesman-like.

I could see the bruise marks on his arms. And I knew in my heart that credit card was stolen. But I could feel his desperation and the fading remnants of what must have been, at one point, his dignity. I had just read an article about addiction and its overpowering effects. I wanted to be indignant about how I would NOT support his drug habit or his stealing. But I just couldn't. I felt sorry for him.

And in that brief moment that he saw my pity/sadness for him, he pounced. He aggressively swiped the card, pushed the button for the parking ticket, held his hand out for my cash, said his thanks and ran off to the next person parking a few feet down the block.  It happened really, really fast.

The transaction was a blur, but his face is not. I see it clearly in my mind several times a day.  His drawn face, blue eyes, dirty curls flopping around his forehead. He looked like a little boy.

I know now -- after thinking and thinking and thinking about it -- I should have just given him the cash, and not allowed him to use that credit card. I went wrong there. I wish I could take that part back.

But, oddly, I don't feel bad about giving him the money. And I don't know why. I keep re-winding that scene, thinking, "Is there any way that boy wasn't a heroin addict (and a fairly new one at that?)" But no. He was. And he was also someone's son.  A human, with a name. I wish I knew what it was.

Clearly, I have no obligation to give money to drug addicts, or to support criminal activity in any way.

But I have been thinking a lot - for some reason - about that encounter with him and just what my obligation was in that moment. I'm pretty sure I failed, using almost any measure. But I truly don't know what the "right" thing should have been.

In any case, these two moments in time, sharing a few words with two men who have far less than I do, have been seared into my brain and heart. I can't stop thinking of Joseph and parking-meter-boy.

I pray that over time God will show me the right way to give back some of the privilege I've been given. Not just in chance encounters on the street, but in a real, substantial way.

"Teach us to give and not to count the cost."

- Saint Ignatius

The sweetness of 3-year-olds

I know I complain a lot about my two pre-schoolers. The truth is, they are an incredible handful. Everything I say about them being INSANE is true and justified.

But it's also true that they have learned in their three short years on Earth how to be incredibly sweet, in that guileless way that only small children can be.

Dean, for example, is oh-so-sweet to Clair. He is her little caretaker. It swells my heart 50 sizes to see how he dotes on her.

He tries to help her put her shoes on; he looks for her pacifier when she can't find it. He "feeds" her spoonfuls of his yogurt. He shares (usually happily) almost anything she wants. He tries to interpret her wailings and baby gibberish if we adults seem to be struggling to understand her.

This morning, when we were walking downstairs to prepare to leave for school, she cried, wanting to go with all of us.

I was focused on getting out the door -- and also on not stoking the flames of her sadness by prolonging the departure. Cary was oblivious. But Dean stopped and gave her his little green light-up ring to try to soothe her. When she kept crying, he turned to her and said, "No, no, Clairzee. No crying. You see? I gave you the ring? So don't cry anymore OK?" It was the cutest thing. And you know what? She stopped crying!

She responds to Dean as if he were another parent . The sweetest, sweetest thing I have ever witnessed in my life as a parent is when Dean sings to her -- sings! -- when she is crying to be picked up and I'm busy putting dinner on the table or something similar. His voice gets hushed and he touches her little arm singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." And EVERY TIME, she stops crying. Every time.
Note: The quiet doesn't last long. Clair is a very insistent child. If she wants to be picked up, no amount of brotherly love will deter her. But for a brief, beautiful moment, she bends in to the sound of his sweetly-singing voice and calms. I swear, I had no idea before having children how much a scene like that could warm me to my core and make me thank God profusely for blessing me so.

These two.

On the other hand, Cary, my little lives-in-the-clouds boy, seems to save most of his sweetness for me.

Twice now, I've come home from an event late, after the boys are already in bed, walked in their room to check on them, and Cary -- after literally jumping up and down at the sight of me -- has complimented me on my attire. Once he said, "Mommy, you look pretty in that dress." And last night, he said to me, "Mommy, you look pretty in that skirt." (Apparently, my boy likes a woman who shows some leg...)

This is fascinating to me because 1) Cary never notices my clothes in the daytime. The two times these unsolicited compliments have come have been when I've come in his room at night after missing dinner and bathtime. Perhaps I look better in a dimly-lit room? And 2) Cary never compliments ANYONE. My oldest boy is a sweetheart in many ways, but he is not nearly as in tune with other people or even his surroundings as his brother. He truly lives in his own head, so much so that he is often falling or bumping into things, or saying things that come off to others as impertinent, but to him, are just factual observations. It just doesn't occur to him that other people have feelings. (At least not yet.)

Because of that, Cary's compliments make me feel like a million bucks -- like no compliment before has ever made me feel. I know he is saying it for no other reason than that he truly thought it and decided to say it. He isn't trying to butter me up; he wants nothing. He just likes the sight of me in his room, after a long day, before he goes to sleep. I take note of that when I've been out a lot in the evenings and it makes me feel some kind of way. It's why I have two minds about leaving the boys this weekend to go to Atlanta, and the many nights for the next three weeks that I have after-work plans, and the February girls' trip my friends have planned.

After Cary complimented me, I leaned in to hug my baby tight. I said, "Thank youuuuu, sweet boy! That makes Mommy feel happy."

And in my ear, he said, "You're the best girl in the whole world."

I will miss him so when his hand no longer disappears in mine.

I am so blessed. Lord. Thank you for these children -- all three of them. I love them so. I'm so thankful You chose me to be their Mom. I hope and pray they will always love each other and us in the same way they do now. I pray they will always know that we think they are the best children in the whole world.

Breaking Bad - OMG!!!!

This post is not really about Breaking Bad. I just had to say that because last night's episode??? OMG!!!!!

There are two episodes left and I don't know how they top that. Wow. Just wow. So many thoughts and emotions. Such great television, y'all.

OK...on to the post.

This was a great weekend for us: I had drinks/appetizers with my dear friend Kelly on Friday night and she gave me a New Edition T-shirt!!; we had a soccer game,  a library run (the boys love "Pete the Cat!"), we went to the Mayfield Fall Festival, and church; Lester got out to watch the game at an actual bar; I got to read a little bit while the kids were napping, folded the laundry AND cooked two meals for the week, and then finally BREAKING BAD.

This is how this game went. Yeah, pretty much.

Me and my girl Kelly in really bad lighting, but having a wonderful time!

Church was really great -- all about accepting people and loving people in "authentic friendship" instead of judging or condemning them. The lesson (they don't call it a sermon) was funny and poignant and made a real impression on both me and Lester -- just what a lesson/sermon should be. And I'm really liking this church. Hooray!

This coming weekend, Clair and I are leaving for Atlanta to go visit another dear friend of mine -- and I'm stressing a little because I have a ton of stuff to do at work and in the evenings so I have no clue when I'm going to pack, get my hair done, etc. But just when I start to really stress I think, "You're going to Atlanta to visit one of your very best friends."

And then I shut up!

Soccer and piano photos

Last night, I took Clair with me to a baby shower at my bosses' house in Bethesda.

They have a piano and she loved it. I think she is born to play (unlike her mother, who has no musical ability whatsoever).

OK, she really only plunked around on it, like any 18-month-old would do. But a Momma can dream, can't she?

Also last night, Lester held the Gray Team's second soccer practice. I missed it because I had to go to the shower. Hugo's Dad, Geoff, took pictures (thankfully!) This practice looks like a resounding success!

Look, the kids are orderly! (Cary's not doing what he's supposed to be doing, but what else is new?)

Atticus (first kid on the left) finally joined us! Little Milly was absent last night, and Rocco has yet to make an appearance.

Elle actually scored a goal!

Elle looks so happy here! Look at her little braids flying up in the air!

And Dean looks ready to take on the soccer world.

I love this picture of my boy. He looks like such a big, serious kid.

Good Tuesday night all around!